Saturday, December 1, 2012

The divison of autism parents....and the impact.


                The division between parents when it comes to autism always seems to push itself to surface from time to time. The division I am talking about is the different opinions that stem from different experiences with having autism tossed into life. When Phillip was diagnosed I guess I was silly thinking all of us autism parents would be united and stand for the cause together like a big band of brave acceptance warriors. It is a bit like that in some ways but in many ways it’s not.

                Autism is such a different experience for everyone that it can even be difficult to find just a few other people who share your opinions or close to them. I have ran into nearly every kind of autism parent there is, I think and I am almost reluctant to say that because we have a long way to go on this journey.  What do I mean by every kind of autism parent there is? You will find the parents who see autism is a gift, as a curse, as a disorder, as a neurological difference, as a vaccine induced disease, as an evolutionary impact, and sometimes you find the parent who just doesn’t know and deals with whatever comes their way.  My favorite people aren’t parents at all, but people who will actually flat out tell you how your child became autistic. Those people don’t really have a place in this blog but mentioning them makes me laugh so I had to throw it in.

                I have tried to stay away from this topic but every time I see these parents collide I feel a bit of pain for autism, no matter how it became a factor in life. We all want our children to be understood but even then I can say we don’t always understand our own children so we fight to get society to on board and fight to explain why at the same time. The emotions of autism are draining at times but well worth it. There have been times I have wanted to change the title of my blog to The Evolution of an Autism Mommy just because my opinions and feelings change so often. It is a roller coaster to say the least.

                With that being said I know society and the people we interact with, by nature are not drawn towards learning about something so confusing. I would even think many people are just afraid of it in general from the things they read or even from a screaming child they might have encountered in line at the grocery store. If that screaming child possibly hitting mom or dad is the only autism encounter they have had, I wouldn’t expect them to jump into wanting to know more. Now it you take that screaming child who can also memorize an entire Pixar movie in one sitting, and make that child a nephew, grandson, little sister, or best friends youngest then you have someone who is willing to want to learn more. A direct impact will do that to a person so in all the autism division I worry. I worry that parents unknowingly push people away from the desire to know more.

                Autistic kids generally don’t see how their autism impacts others unless we show them. They also don’t see how it will impact their own life unless we show them. In all the division and different opinions I want to shout…”Stop the madness!” I want to shout it as a parent who needs other parents and I want to shout it for all of the nonverbal people living with autism. They want success and as much independence as possible in life or maybe they just want to get through the day with a smile from a stranger because they don’t see one often enough. Either way the quickest way to help both of those things happen, or hope for that to happen is to stop the madness and focus on what truly matters to each and every autism parent you will ever come in contact with….the impact. The impact of autism, the impact of a parent, the impact of our children, and the one we all really need to move to the top shelf….the impact ON our children.

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