Sometimes he seems to just break through...like he knew how all along.

                 Last week I wrote a blog about routine and the isolation of an autism parent. On a side note of that blog, we all still want the invite! We just want others to understand when we have to say no. I noticed a drop in my own life of invites and wondered if that was the cause. It could just be my personality but I going with the blog because that would mean someone is actually reading it. LOL all in good humor and on to the days babble.

                 Phillip talks a whole lot of gibberish. Always has really and the words just have taken a very long time to come together. Rarely does he use two words at once, in fact never, and even though I talk to him like we are having a conversation, it’s really one sided. Many of the sounds he makes are swooshing sounds or his face appears to be telling us something very clear but his words just don’t make any sense.

                When a moment comes that is clear and that verbal connection is made it is the greatest feeling in the world and you cling to that moment with all your strength, just in case the next one is far off or it was a fluke.  Last night Phillip and I were going through his bedtime routine and saying goodnight to everything we could see while walking up to the bedroom. He just grins and goes along with it but honestly it’s me saying goodnight to everything and he is just entertained by it. We crawled into bed and all of sudden he looked at my face, smiled and said…”Happy”. Yes I made sure to ask him again to say it just to make sure that was what just happened and he did repeat it with a smile. It’s a moment that is nearly impossible to put into words when you rarely hear any words from your child and a word that is based on feeling, a good feeling, is amazing.

                This morning I was greeted with Phillip once again making his swooshing noises and giggling. He will take his hands and move them around with the sound and I can say I have no idea where he got this or why he does it. I can tell you he attempts to say Mashugina which is Yiddish for troublemaker and sort of family joke around here. It doesn’t come out clear but a bit funny that difficult word is one he attempts and has that SH sound to it he likes to try.  While he making his swooshing sounds I was trying to guess what he was saying. I asked him if he was trying to say Mashugina and he shook his head no repeating the sounds. Then I said to him…”is it the motion of the ocean?” That is when he completely stopped, looked at me and said…”huh?” with his little nose crinkled up on one side.

                In an attempt to desperately figure out what he was doing and no I still have no idea there was another moment of communication and the fact he responded the way he did was a complete success in a mind boggling and somewhat frustrating moment. Moments like that open the door to knowing more will come. Maybe not again today or even a month from now but it will come and when it happens sometimes it seems as though he knew how all along it comes out so easily. Like he broke through whatever it was that was holding it back.