How do we deal with negatives that come pouring over us in
life? We all get them and sometimes they are so overwhelming it feels like the
negative won’t ever let us go. You would think if your child is diagnosed with
autism that would be a negative you can’t get over but it’s not. I see it when
I tell someone my son has autism and they jump quickly to think I am sad over
this difference but I am not. The fact is I am intrigued by his difference and
I love learning about it from someone who can offer me tons of knowledge, my
own son.
I have
experienced some negatives in life and many of them I could have let take hold
and never let go. This is not a way to live your daily life and your mental
health depends on being able to get through knowing it’s temporary. Autism is
not temporary no matter who says they can cure it but is also not a negative in
our lives. Autism is just something given to my son and it’s my job to raise
him at a level we can both be proud of. I see the autism my son has as a permanent
situation with a positive future. Basically because I refuse to believe he will
have anything less than that and I want him to feel the same way, even when
things get difficult. That is not saying we don’t have some very hard days but
the day ends and new one begins.
We all
know someone who never gets away from the negative hold that has grabbed them
like a set of vice grips and they don’t realize they are stuck in their own
misery. Hard things happen in life everyday to everyone, which is part of the
adventure of being alive. It’s not a good feeling but it’s also not going to
last forever unless you let it. Now there are some people in this world who don’t
have any comforts and life really will never get better but most of us are
doing ok in the big picture of things. Maybe I have unique outlook to thinks
but the hardships are what gave me that outlook on life.
Divorce
is hard and painful but you get through it then you may end up in a custody
battle that only hurts children. In fact I put custody battles pretty high up
on the negativity rank for most deadly to the people you love the most. Break
ups are no fun but sometimes the end gives you a glimpse at what life could
have been and it’s a not a pretty picture. Loss of a job is hard but loss leads
go gain so keep trying! I could go on and on with examples of things people
allow to take hold forever but hopefully you get the idea and I am sure you can
think of some things in your own life that had hold of you for way to long.
Autism
is a different way of thinking and truly a different view of the world in
general. Our children still need to be taught to push on without constant blame.
It is so easy to get lost in the negatives that are connected to autism. I know
because I felt myself going there and I didn’t like it at all. Even if our
children struggle we have to teach them the positives the difference gives them
and the gifts they have as individuals in this world. They learn from us and
how we react to life or even how we react to an autistic challenge. When you
reach one of those challenges think very hard about your reaction and what you
might be teaching your child along the way. Maybe they aren’t speaking or maybe
they don’t appear to be paying attention but the information that I know my
child is consuming all around him is not immune to people. The words they say
and the actions they take are being filled in his mind even if he doesn’t show
it at the time. In fact his ability to consume information is a bit
intimidating. I am not talking about flash cards or the alphabet because I know
these are boring to him. I am talking about things we don’t even see like the
way a flag flies in the wind. The way the wheels turn on cars or bikes or the
way the veins in a leaf look when you hold it up to the sun.
I for
one refuse to believe a child who is taking in so much detail in the world
around him isn’t paying attention to the reaction of the people around him. We
really don’t know for sure like every else about autism but no matter what
challenges in life come your way, try to face it as temporary and better things
are always ahead. Even if you really don’t think your reaction matters, do
yourself and the people around you a favor and try to take a positive approach….just
in case.
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