Authority or Power? They are not the same...

                 No autism today because honestly things have been going so smooth along those lines I can’t think of one thing to write. That is a very good thing for us but not so good for my blog.

                Today I am writing about adults in a position of authority. When it comes to being in this position, especially when it comes to children, a parent needs to feel their child’s best interest is always top priority. Even if you don’t agree the actions have to send the message that the child is the common ground and what is best for them is the goal.

                My daughter had to have her DTap immunization to begin Junior High and we did that which led to some moderate side effects and she was not feeling her best when school began. I have never had to hand deliver an immunization record so that was something I had forgotten to do. I had spoken with the authority to let him know she was in fact immunized. Yesterday my daughter called me from school and told me I needed to deliver the record right that minute. I told her I couldn’t do it right at that very moment but I had other things to bring to the school so I would be there later in the day. That is when she became upset with me and told me she will be held out of class and made to sit in the office until I bring it in.

                My first thought was…are you kidding me? But she was not kidding me. My second thought was…why am I speaking to my daughter who is now in the principal’s office for the first time in her life about this issue? So I asked my daughter to hand the phone to an adult. I didn’t care which adult, just someone with an adult perspective and wise enough to send her back to class. The adult I was handing to was rude and stated she couldn’t go back to class without the record as it is state law. I explained I understood state law perfectly but she has been in school over a week and she needs to be in class. If there one thing no one should do is recite state law to a mother of an autistic child when it comes to immunizations. That part actually makes me giggle. At this point I was not happy at all with the tone I was given, the lack of respect, and the simple fact my daughter was being held out of class. I also assumed after speaking to this woman they would send her back to class because common sense tells you keeping her in the office is unjustified at this point.

                When I arrived at the school as soon as I could, and maybe a half hour later I saw my daughter sitting in the back of the office reading a book. You can only imagine at this point I had flames coming out of my ears. I walked into the office past the receptionist and told my daughter to go back to class, which she did gladly as I found out she had missed two classes already. Meaning she sat there much longer then I had even been made aware. I tossed the record onto the desk and decided at that moment I was not going to leave silent like they expected me to. I rarely speak up and I am always polite even when I don’t want to be but in this lifetime I know firsthand sometimes adults are just flat out wrong.

                I said to this woman, I don’t appreciate my daughter being punished for something I had forgotten to do. When I said it, no one looked at me but I did see her eyebrows go up as if she didn’t like what I had to say. I waited for a response and nothing so left quietly. When I arrived home the principle called me to notify me that I had been disrespectful and created an unsafe environment. Huh? Unsafe? I told him his tactic was wrong, I give the respect I am given and I understand the immunization was needed but to one day decide to yank my daughter out of class when in reality she shouldn’t have even began school if we are talking law, was just not ok. In the end of the long conversation and I can say we both made our point I was asked to show respect when I enter the building. I completely agreed as long as that was based on a mutual respect. Also agreed. He and I have always been on good terms and I don’t want that to change.

                The problem for me now is I don’t really have much respect for the authority anymore even though I really want to. My daughter’s education is supposed to be top priority and our common ground, but taking her out of class was not the message that was sent to me. The message I received was, do as we say or your daughter will pay. Really no other way to describe it.

                Sometimes adults are just flat out wrong and authority can be confused with power. In this case easy to deal with and no one was hurt or strongly affected but in many cases that mentality is a serious and dangerous problem. Speak up when your gut tells you to and make sure the actions match the intent, which should be positive intent when it comes to your child. School is a place to learn and be social. Yes kids need to respect the authority in life and so do adults but always pay attention to the difference between authority and power. They are not the same.

                Of course later that day to my surprise the receptionist from a different school called to notify me my oldest child and his friend, God love them both, had changed her bulletin board on the front of the school to read a dirty word. He’s 14…and 99% of the time very well behaved but this time the authority was not happy and we were on a common ground;)