Autism is not a crutch...unless you allow it to be.

Today Phillip and I went shopping for my oldest son’s birthday next week. There is always a 50/50 chance how an outing like this will go. Last trip to the grocery store he was perfect but I did have to carry him the entire time and being nearly three, it wasn’t an easy task. Whenever we leave the house I always know that I really don’t know how it is going to go. I guess that way I don’t fear it or get to excited either.

I knew right away today when he tossed himself onto the ground as we walked in the door this was not going to be a successful day. Especially when I tried to stand him up and he went into wet noodle mode. Typically I try to push on but today was not the day, so I scooped up my little wet noodle and left before it could turn into a public display. I wasn’t upset or frustrated with him at all in fact I was a bit relieved. That’s right I was relieved because the reason he tossed himself down was because he didn’t want to follow me. He wasn’t overwhelmed at all, and I didn’t see any autistic triggers. What I could see was a strong willed little boy who just didn’t agree with his mama.

There is a fine line between an autism inspired tantrum and just a good old fashioned toddler tantrum. It’s a hard line to spot and many parents have a hard time knowing which is which.  Sometimes it is easy for me to tell if he is overwhelmed or hyper stimulated but other times it’s not so easy. In this case it was nice to see him just being a boy with a very strong opinion. Since he can’t speak his opinion to me he used the wet noodle tactic to get his point across. I supposed when you feel life revolves around the difference you get a sense of peace when something happens that has nothing to do with it. Of course everyone knows he has autism but what I don’t want is every time he is just being a boy, everyone to assume it’s the autism and calls it good. It’s just not always the case and thankfully many times I can spot the fine line but for so many others they are still trying to figure it all out. Especially when each child is so different and there is no handbook on how to find it. Just time and patience!

Make sure that line doesn’t go unnoticed and the blame isn’t shifted to autism for every little thing. Yes, it causes challenges but parenting in general is a challenge and we have to always remember if we credit autism for every little thing, when does a child ever break away from that label and is recognized as an individual?  Kids with autism are capable of taking responsibility for their actions and can learn to understand their own personality aside from autism. What we need to remember along this journey is… as parents if we allow autism to become a crutch than that is exactly what it will become.