Autism for us and potty training....Think autistic!

                 Today’s post is about the potty so I will try to keep it clean in case you’re having a snack. My son is almost 3 and everything has pointed to ready to potty train for while now.  He is dry at night most of the time and his body kind of works on a schedule. The problem has been adjusting to such a huge change. Three years of a diaper and three years being comfortable with that process and with autism or any child, that change is a huge challenge!

                We started two weeks ago and I woke up one day thinking, we are going to do this beginning today. I laugh now because my optimism is sometimes over the top of the reality we face but being a bit unrealistic can sometimes lead to over thinking. Over thinking can sometimes lead to logic and I stress sometimes with that theory.

                We began going straight to underwear because after all wet isn’t fun so he will understand that after a few accidents right? No, it’s not that easy. Yes, he understands wet and doesn’t like it but there is the part of him that needed to be led into a drastic change of routine that didn’t frustrate him or we would in fact move backwards in the process. Another obstacle we faced was the potty in general. It is a seat with a big hole in it so that led to some real fear of sitting on it. Once I managed to get him on that seat with a hole then what? I could talk, dance, make weird noises, try to read a book, and use every other tactic under the sun to get him to sit still long enough for the magic to happen. Reality was we have autism and autism never sits still. Toddlers in general never sit still. I have been told stickers or a reward but in order to reward I had to find away to get him to sit to begin with.

                I won’t lie I was totally at odds and nearly broken with an answer to this. No matter what I read or advice I was given it felt like I just had to throw my hands up and call it good. None of those things were going to get a comfortable routine established and if I forced it I knew he would fight back and the battle would just grow bigger. Any parent who has been through the potty training process knows it can go all wrong with one bad incident.

                Here is the thing with autism that I know from my own son. Logic, reasons, and purpose has to be a factor. Boredom is the enemy and it is just another word for defeat with his difference. I put my mind to work with all of these factors running through my head and how to defeat them all at one time. There had to be a reason to sit to begin with. There had to be logic in the process meaning if he sits he will find a purpose other than going potty because he hasn’t found the logic in using a potty yet. I can’t explain that to him so I have to show him. Not show him myself so like so many people will suggest but show him through his own body. Taking him outside to pee on tree wasn’t going to work or I would end up with a teenager who only pees on trees.  I built something that gave him a reason, purpose, and soon will come the logic of why we sit. Is it the autism potty training answer?  No, probably not as it is different with each child.

                I will say in two days my son has sat on his potty without any problems. Sometimes he sits for just a short time and other times he sits for a long time. Last night he sat for nearly an hour and sat again this morning. He enjoys it and has found purpose in sitting on the potty. I am completely at ease with the process and know things will fall in line in his mind.

                I also know with a stroke of luck what I made for him inspired speech, counting, and a routine of sitting still. There are ways to work with autism and of course it's not easy. There are no easy answers to parenting in general. My sons mind never stops searching for purpose and things that ease him or interest him. Even when it comes to a process we should all understand like using a potty. There has to routine and purpose. I don’t know about you but a sticker chart sure wouldn’t motivate me to change my life from the daily comforts I already know. Three years of routine is not that easy to change for any child, but it’s not impossible either. If my idea bombs so be it and I will let my readers know but my unrealistic optimism that I pride myself on says we are pushing on with some awesome progress and my belief is it’s going to continue that way.