Sometimes it's just cupcakes

                 We hear a lot about routines and how important they are and this is very true. Routine is mandatory for a child with autism because it makes them feel at ease with daily life. Not basic routines but detailed routines and can be the smallest thing that creates comfort. Many of those things my son has instilled in his own way and I understand he requires it. Some of those things have also made parenting pretty dang easy at times.

                Bath time he has a bucket of toys to play with like all 3 year olds. The difference is when it’s time he puts the toys in the bath himself and likes me to put the bucket back in the cabinet. He has one toy he puts in the edge of the bathtub and doesn’t play with, ever. He places it in the same position each time and it must sit in that spot until we are done. No matter what he will notice if it is moved and he will move it back. When it is time for the bath to end I hold the bucket and he puts the toys in and that one toy always goes in first. I don’t have to say bath time is over, all I have to do is hold the bucket on the side of the tub and he knows the routine. No argument at all and it is so easy on both of us. It took my son two years to actually lie down in the bathtub and just as long to actually explore the other side of the tub. I would always tell him to go to the other end wondering why he refused but now I get it. Routine and he instilled it on his own to feel at ease.

                Yesterday was a long day of trying to potty train and this of course is major change in routine for him. Not an easy thing to instill and I know it’s going to take a very long time for him to feel using a potty is part of the daily habits. We didn’t have any luck actually using the potty but I did see an understanding from him and the desire to try which is a huge blessing towards our goal. He could have rejected the idea all together easily and I would have been at a loss for what to do. Potty training an autistic child is one thing you will hear so many parents agree is extremely challenging and some aren’t able to find a way to make it work. I actually have feared it to this point but considered the longer we wait the harder it may end up being.

                In all of the chaos and trying yesterday I was exhausted by the end of the day. I felt like I had ran a potty training marathon all day long and never reached the finish line, but still felt progress. Bedtime came and I told Phillip it was time for bed. He stopped playing and appeared to still have a full blown dose of energy to burn but ran directly to bed. He crawled into bed, pulled the covers up over him and made sure to give me a kiss and squeeze my neck. Just like that he curled up and went to sleep. It’s not this easy every night but I can say nine times out of ten it is. I don’t think everything my son does is due to some autistic twist but the routine side of things really does ease him. It really doesn't get easier than this and I see it as an awesome side effect of understanding him.

                Of course we also had a day this week he tossed himself on the grocery store floor and refused to move. I am sure the people in the building felt he was throwing a tantrum due to his difference but between me, the checker I giggled with, and my son it was not autism. It was the yummy table of cupcakes that was presented at a perfect eye level for him as he walked in the door.  He looked to be overwhelmed and people looked at me as though they felt bad for me and my little autistic boy. Truth was, he is three in a month and he wanted a cupcake. That’s it and nothing to do with autism whatsoever. Just the pack of beautiful toddler sized icing stacked cupcakes, a sweat tooth, and a little boy with a strong desire to eat one. Routine is comfort, sometimes it’s an autism inspired meltdown and sometimes it’s just cupcakes.