This is a story that came up on our late night local news last
night and typically I skip the news these days but this one caught my
attention. At first I felt a bit irritated but I wasn’t sure if I was just feeling
sorry for myself or maybe my feelings were a bit more legit than I was giving
them credit for. You see we don’t eat at sit down restaurants if it can be
avoided. There have been a few times we have and it is a constant struggle to keep
our son in one place. I would never say he is bad but that doesn’t mean the
opinion around us sees it the same way.
If you
read many of the comments attached to the article you will find the judgment
parents face on this issue. You will see a mention of a charge for bratty kids
and how well behaved kids at a restaurant is a sign of a “good parent” and so
many more comments that cause a stir in my mind. I know people judge quickly
when my son runs or can’t seem to be still for a short time but the thought
people could think a parent who faces this struggle is not a good parent makes
my stomach actually hurt with sadness. If being a good parent consists of
making sure everyone else in the room is undisturbed, well then why am I trying
so hard to raise kids who have morals, understanding, individual thought, care,
a sense of others and the ability to be happy? Apparently I have been killing myself to raise
my children to best of my ability when all it really takes is to not bother
anyone. Who knew!
It’s
nice of the restaurant to have given the parents something to smile about and
proud of no doubt about it, but at the same time how exactly does one earn a
well behaved discount? Maybe I bring my son in for a try at a sit down meal and
he makes it for a bit but the food has taken forever to get there, huge problem
by the way with a child who has extreme energy. Maybe he is beginning to climb
out of his seat to explore because that is a given no matter what and one of us
has to wrestle him outside just so the other person can pretend to enjoy the
meal, possibly left at the table alone. I could create a ton of scenarios that
people would see as disqualified but sometimes just getting in and out without
a meltdown is actually being well behaved and a success.
I am going
to climb out of the classy bubble I try to stay in today and say to those who
think they know what a good parent is, you are narrow minded, foolish, rude, judgmental
to an unhealthy level, and your head is to deeply implanted into your backside
to see it. No parent on earth has such a perfect tactic towards parenting total
strangers can see how good at it they are. Yes, parents find success but they
had to battle through things that didn’t work to find it in the first place.
Something has to occur in the form of a struggle to find something that works
and in no way is that limited to children with autism. Autism parents just tend
to face not so typical struggles and have to find not so typical tactics which
take time, a lot of time. We have to be able to get through the door in the first
place to see what needs help and let me tell you it could be the day a new
challenge sets in while we are trying like hell to figure out the ones already
in place. What works for one child might
not work at all for the next and considering 1in 88 children have autism that means
1 in 88 children might require a completely different approach to simply get
through a meal.
At first
I felt eating at this restaurant was out of the question but now I am beginning
to think a little dose of autism might be good for this establishment. Maybe we
will venture out one day to eat there but you can be sure I will be printing
this blog out and leaving it on the table when we do. Maybe we will even get the
well behaved child discount, but I have my doubts no matter how well my child
behaves. Even though there are people in this world with their head stuffed up
there backside that are also people who are willing to help pull it out, that’s
if they would like some help because I would have disturb them a bit to make that happen.
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