Find your stinky old book!

                 When I saw this picture it made me think of two things, one being how plugged in our society is and two being what parent’s are able to do to get away even if it’s just for a moment. I collect old books and I mean really old. Early 1900’s or earlier are my favorite finds and this is something I have liked to do but only recently started doing more of it. I can’t count how many times I have gone to the grocery store alone and some will say to me, “at you got to get away”. Just to clear this up, getting away and being away are two different things. Leaving alone to buy diapers or a gallon of milk is being away. Getting away is something that clears your mind.

                Getting away is taking time to be alone with yourself and being reminded of whom you are, what you enjoy, aside from being a parent. I love being a mom but eventually I do start to wonder if the only thing I will ever do again is laundry, dishes, house cleaning, and managing three kids. Aside from autism all three of my kids have very challenging personalities none of which are anything like the other. Spending day after day trying to keep those minds balanced and out of trouble can get exhausting. Not exhausting in a way I need to sleep but in a way I need to give my own mind some personal attention. So, I jump in the van and go on a short quick book hunt.

My kids think I am nuts because I come home with stinky old books and a smile on my face but to me those stinky old books are what keeps me from losing myself keeping up with everyone else. If you lose yourself your really not much good for the people around you so I need those books. That short treasure hunt makes me happy and it’s necessary for my own soul.

It is very hard to find something that gives you soul food when you have a child with autism simply because it is very hard to get away and when you do it can be short lived. Very often it’s being away that is still gravitating around others. Not a bad thing because that’s what a parent does but everyone needs that one thing that is for their own good. No matter what that might be.

Years ago I was in the worst place of my life and I had all the time in the world to myself but my mind was never on me. My dad’s childhood home was being rented in Montana and I traveled over to clean up for the next renter. When I arrived the home was in need of a gutting and I was to stay in it for the trip. It was empty and smelled so bad I could hardly breathe with one bed left for me to rest my head on and stare at the walls.  I went out into the shed and found a book tucked back in a corner that had been missed for years because it was left there from the years my grandma still lived in the home. I have no idea how it was missed all those years but it was an Edgar Allen Poe book from the early 40’s so I grabbed it and went back into the empty house for the evening. I sat on that one bed trying not to breathe or touch anything for fear of what I might pick up from the filth and I read that book. From beginning to end and the entire time I forgot where I was. Forgot about the things in life that were challenging me and I was totally lost in a stinky old book left hidden in a corner for over ten years by the very women who taught me I could go anywhere in a book, my grandma. I did get a hotel for the rest of the stay so I could breathe clean air but I took that book with me.

             The point is everyone needs to find their stinky old book! Something that feeds or reinforces their soul and gives us that short escape customized for our own mind. Not just autism parents but all parents or just anyone who starts to feel a bit drained from the challenges of life. It might be something no one understands or something so small it isn’t clear why it puts on your face. We are living in a busy world that is completely plugged in and flowing with judgment no matter what you do. We can’t avoid any of it so find a way to escape it that is healthy for you. After all is said and done what’s healthy for you is healthy for the minds you’re trying to keep up with. The bonus is they will see you find your stinky old book and one day find their own hopefully. Being away is nice but getting away is good for your soul.