The progress my son has made is fantastic to say the least.
He has fought hard to talk a bit, he knows his alphabet, counts to ten, and
randomly practices these things. Pretty amazing if I think back to all of the things
I was told he needed intense therapy to accomplish. We solved some physical
struggles and he is also much more alert than I would have expected if I compare
him to the day he was diagnosed to now. Couldn’t be more proud of him for how
bad he wants to make progress.
Even
then we have those days that aren’t bad but he just can’t win the battle no
matter what. For about a month we have left the TV off for most of the day.
Pretty amazing accomplishment as he was all about Tin Tin and Lion King for
days on end. Good movies, once or twice but after 100 times it’s really isn’t
very entertaining anymore and the sound alone nearly drove me bonkers. Every once in a while before he goes to bed he
will request a movie to watch and maybe fall asleep in the couch early for the
night.
Yesterday
I bought the new movie Hotel Transylvania basically because I wanted to watch
it and thought he might like something new for entertainment. Silly me is all I
can think now because new entertainment is not exactly something that is
welcome in his repetitive mind. It was a total flop and not just a flop but
from the moment the sound began he went into full blown meltdown for over a
half hour. I of course turned it off and he went up to the bedroom to have a
good cry. I can’t even say it was just a cry as his reaction seemed to be
complete fear, anxiety, and frustration hitting him all at one time. It is
basically a moment he just can’t win and there is nothing him or I can do to
solve it. The only thing I can do is wait for him to gather himself and once he
does he is back to smiles and working on his own progress. He tries to talk and
according to his facial expression he is telling me how he feels but nothing
comes out correctly. The effort to explain is progress no matter how it comes
out.
It is a
very difficult thing as a mother to watch your child fighting back with himself
daily. Behind the autism is a boy with so much to say and explain and I can see
it. I can do everything in my power to help but sometimes I have to accept I can
do nothing to help but understand. The TV stays off now until he goes to bed
and I have gotten so used to it even then I leave it off some nights. This is a
good thing by the way because we all know nothing comes out of the TV that we
need to get through our days. In fact lately from what I can see anything
coming out of the TV is going to waste your days with mindless crap. His battle
with this is actually doing us all a favor in the long run, but that doesn’t mean
I want him to be in that battle.
There
is no secret to why this happens and there is no easy fix because this is just
how his mind operates. I can’t get online and ask other parents if they know what
to do and I can’t force him to tolerate the TV being on. I wouldn’t no matter
what because it’s not important enough to even try.
I do
know this and it is important, everything I thought I knew about being parent
and I mean everything is totally irrelevant raising Phillip. Dr, Phil, Super
Nanny, Dr Dodson, and any other famous super parent on that blasted TV would
not only meet there match but after some time would toss out all they thought
they knew as well. A little time with autism and they would get knocked back down
to where real life is happening. That would be my house and probably yours. I
can read 100 books on autism behavior and find 5 things, maybe, that pertain to
my son. I could meet with every person on the planet who holds an autism “specialist”
title and still find people who do not understand.
There is such thing as an autism
specialist by and it’s the moms and dads who are busting their ass to keep up
and understand all of the challenges. The siblings who know we can’t turn the
TV on so they play instead and laughing the whole time without complaints. The
grandparents who offer to help even if they might be a little nervous about
doing something wrong. It’s the teachers
who believe in our children and listen to parents because a parent knows their own
child. It’s the aunts and uncles who may
not always be around but work to understand when they are, and the most
important specialists of all are the children and adults who have autism.
Ending this now because my own
personal autism specialist would like seconds for breakfast and after breakfast
he has many lessons to teach me. With the TV off all day we have one less
distraction while I am learning.
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