Yesterday was a day of enlightenment for me as a mother and
some disgust as well. Took my little man in to check his ears after the doctor
gave me some advice to use drops for a while. I expected when we went in she
would in fact be cleaning his ears out. An odd thing and I was a little worried
she was doing more than necessary just because he has never had an issue with
his ears. No one has ever mentioned anything in regard to his ears unless it’s
asking if he can hear. It appeared he could hear just fine. In fact the health
of his ears has been awesome because my older kids had constant problems with their
ears when they were little and it was a nightmare.
We
pulled into the parking lot and Phillip went into meltdown because at this
point he has an intense fear that has grown towards clinics. A fear largely based on touch and the process of
checking his vitals. After wrestling him into the lobby I took him into the
bathroom as his screaming was a lot for the other people to take and the
receptionists couldn’t use the phones he was so upset. He didn’t stop and for a
moment I thought, maybe we should just leave and call the whole thing off. I
couldn’t imagine a little ear wax was worth what I was putting him through but
they called his name so we pushed on. The whole time I am wondering if any of
it is needed in the first place. Sometimes you run into those doctors that just
go a bit overboard and other times you run into the ones that don’t do enough.
Finally
Phillip calmed and his doctor said it was time to clean out the ears. I wanted
to leave the room at this point but four people were needed to hold him down so
I held his arms, one nurse held his legs, and another held his head. In the
meantime I am fighting back my tears successfully by the way. When the doctor
pulled out the problem all of us were blown away by the extreme blockage in the
first ear. The next ear was no different and that is when all the doctors that
I have encountered in the past year flashed through my mind and not in a
positive way. I would have put an R rating on this blog if I told you exactly what
was going through my mind.
I asked
his new doctor why on earth this has never been mentioned to me by any other
care provider. It’s a problem I can’t see, he never expressed discomfort and I
imagine because he was used to it. He probably felt that was the way the world
was supposed to sound. The doctor eased my anger a bit by telling me things
work out for a reason and she is actually pretty skilled at removing the
problem so it may have been better she did it than a doctor who could have
harmed him. Good point and she was right but that didn’t exactly take away my
disgust. That would mean 1 in 5 doctors are skilled enough to remove ear wax…think
about that. Scary thought isn’t it?
I have
a child who can’t speak clearly and he has made huge progress. I also have a
child who I have been told needs hours of speech therapy so my question was how
can doctors push this and not address a hearing issue? Of course he is autistic
but how in the world is he supposed to reach the speech goals they put on him
if he can’t hear the words properly?
I don’t
care if a doctor would have said to me, he has blockage in his ears but I am
not sure I am the one to remove it, let’s send him to someone who can. The
slightest mention is all we needed to help him. I spent the better part of the
day making myself physically ill thinking about how long he may have been dealing
with this. Thinking about how so many care providers knew he was challenged
with his autism and let him walk away with a separate challenge of not hearing well.
I thought about all the things doctors have avoided simply based on his autism
and not wanting to deal with him because yes it takes 4 women to hold down a
28lb boy. How many things I have had to figure out on my own because medical
providers don’t seem to know how or want to. He used to get constipated for weeks
a time and each time I mentioned it, well it was just a part of autism they
always said. Not so, but I can say that problem made his autism much more difficult
to manage. No one helped me figure that out for him other than sleepless nights
and reading a ton of information.
So many
people are just flying blind with autism and not just because it’s a mystery to
parents but because it’s a mystery medically. People wonder why autism parents grow
so frustrated with finding quality help and this is one very good example. We
do now have someone who is not willing to just let us walk out of the door
blind to an extra challenge that isn’t necessary, and thank God for that! That doesn’t
mean she understands autism completely it just means she isn’t afraid to deal
with it because his quality of life is the priority. Then again aren’t we
supposed to feel that way about the majority of our medical care providers
instead of the minority?
When we
left the clinic I turned on the music in the van to the classical Phillip likes
and his eyebrows went up like he hadn’t heard it that way before, meaning
clearly. He stopped in the backyard because some small birds were in the tree
chirping. He stood and listened to them and gently touched his ear. The loud
sounds he typically makes all day are gone as of the last 24 hours and I can
whisper I love you and get his attention. He would have typically ignored all
of these things and most people would have said it was because of his autism
which he still has of course only now he has autism and a new level of hearing.
One good doctor who saw his quality of life as priority was all it took.
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