Thankful for the way things just come together, when I let it.

                Road trip for the holiday today and the first thought I had this morning was, how will the day progress. I had two thoughts in my head and was just going to keep my mind open and see what happens. We were heading to my brothers house full of people. Phillip had never been to my brothers and a house full of faces can of course become a problem. So he would either adjust fine or right off the bat he would have a meltdown.

                So the journey began and we packed into the minivan on our way to the ferry terminal. Once we arrived at the ferry terminal we discovered a two hour wait to get on the boat. If we waited, on the side of the road we would not make it in time to the feeding frenzy we were all thinking about. This brought the decision to drive, also two hours but without the hour boat ride. All the while I am thinking about if or when Phillip will protest. So far he was perfect and seemed to be happy to be on an adventure. I have noticed since moving when we drive there are so many new things to see each time, he is perfectly content.

                Off we went down the freeway with the hope the traffic would not be so bad our time was wasted no matter what decision we made. Since moving back home I have had a new perspective on life in general and all the things I have missed. The busy life I was always running from is exciting and I am in love with it. From driving through Seattle to a passing DeLorean on the freeway, I just enjoy it like a little kid would. Phillip was in awe as we drove by the airport and did not take his eyes off all this planes on the ground and in the sky.

                At my brothers house he ran right inside and barged his way through the faces onto the couch. Then he was off to explore and take it all in. You could say he did this nearly the entire time we were there and was fantastic. Then the time comes he has in fact taken in all he possibly can and he realizes it. He doesn’t just realize all he has seen and investigated but it pours over him and the overwhelming feeling hits. I would compare this to slowly filling a cup with water. If you just keep pouring the water in, it will spill over the top.

                 This used to take just a short time and thankfully these days it can take a long time but either way, it hits. His first sign of overload is he wants his clothes off and at home this is fine but most of our overloads don’t happen at home. Then it elevates to not wanting to be touched and some people would mistake this for being unfeeling or unloving. For Phillip this really is him saying to me…I am overloaded with feeling and I can’t handle one more, including touch. When the don’t touch me faze begins I know this is it and very soon no one will be able to help him. Once this faze is in effect I know it is time to go. Next time he goes to my brothers it won't all be new so the risk of that pouring over won't be so strong. He will in fact remember all he took in today.

                The evening ended and as we drove past the city lights I was content, full of food, but content. He did better than I could have expected in every way and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed at that point how quickly life changed in the past weeks. Being able to spend the day with some of my family in the place I have always called home was not something I would have predicted in life just a few short years ago. Driving down the road with the people I love, able to touch Phillip again by the way, cruising by Seattle lights on Thanksgiving and home is just s short drive away is exactly how life Is supposed be. At exactly the right time and I know that because life has taught me just exactly that.

                On a day we are supposed to say what we are thankful for I can easily say I am thankful for the twists and turns, the tears, laughs, the surprises, and all those pesky things I have needed to learn even if I had to learn to the hard way. I am thankful I can say goodnight and I love you to my kids every night and know one day Phillip will say it back. On a typical morning the one thing I am thankful for as soon as my eyes open, is that I was given another day to open them. If that is how your day begins, well I would say your day started out pretty dang good. Now all you have to do is live like you really feel just opening your eyes for another day is actually a gift and let it all come together, no matter how that may happen.