Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Conform just a bit and let the rest blow our minds.


                 We turned in the paperwork for Phillip to begin sessions at the autism center yesterday. This round of paperwork was only 6 or 7 pages long thank goodness. If there is one thing I have a bitter grudge against since this journey began it’s the paperwork. Necessary to fill out in as much detail as possible so they have an understanding of your child but each and every time I start to get that feeling. That feeling like children are droids and my son was wired wrong so I have to take him in to get rewired.

                The other part of the paperwork I hate and I think many autism parents may feel this way, is when I have to answer a question sometimes I feel the answer is no matter to the process. Meaning today I may have one answer, three days ago it was not the same, and three days from now it may also not be the same. So, you do the best you can and hope the person reading your answers knows they are never solid.

                It’s also difficult to answer some of the questions when two parents have two very different roles at home. In our home I am the manager and dad is the fun. The manager almost always deals with the sticky situations and the fun, well the fun gets tickle time and giggles. Both important roles but your answers can’t possibly match when it comes down to it. To be honest I am a slightly bitter about being the manager sometimes. It becomes routine to keep things moving as smooth as possible and sometimes you find yourself the droid who needs a rewire.

                I can’t stand the entire process of training people to act accordingly and that really is a huge part of autism. It’s hard to keep my sons attention, stay on task, follow directions, and understand simple social cues such being quiet when we need to be. All of these things have to be instilled before he can begin school so I have to embrace the process no matter how I feel about it and I have to understand he will not thrive without knowing how to do these things to the best of his ability.

                I think many times society believes therapy for autism is to fix an autistic child and to treat it out of them. That is really not the case and if it is, you might need a new therapist. The process is to help them have a fighting chance in the world as we know it. If my child needs to be taught to act accordingly to get an education, and it hurts to even type that, then that is what we need to do.

                I am tossing out the word therapist in my mind altogether because therapist and fix go hand in hand. Therapist also has a bit of a dark cloud looming over it.  I am going to view all of these lovely ladies who will be seeing my son as life aids. Aiding him to a bit of conformity we all have to have to function on a daily basis.  Aiding him to the place he needs to be to excel with the beautiful mind he was given.

                At this point you may be laughing at my denial of the word therapy and I am giggling at myself about the whole thing to but if it keeps that dark cloud away I am totally fine with my denial. Will go into this with the acceptance of some conformity and let the things that don’t need to conform or even should never conform, blow our minds as he travels through life.

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