Flowing With Ability, Not disability

I have found with my sons autism and this could be the case for anyone who has a difference, pity is a common problem I don't care for. I don't want pity for my son, or pity as his parent. I have also found many people seek pity, they complain to no end, blame the difference for certain behaviors. Yes, some behaviors I have no control over and neither does my son, but at the same time when his difference is clear, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for either one of us. I certainly don't feel sorry for myself and I refuse to allow my son to feel sorry for himself as he tackles life.

I have also found along this journey many people complain about what could be considered just the ups and downs of parenting in general, but they become engulfed in autism and at times it becomes hard to know what's autism and what is just a child just being a child. For example, eating dirt. My son had a taste for dirt and that may have been sensory related but he was a toddler at the time and well let's face it, kids eat dirt from time to time. Unless he is turning his cheek to waffles and snacking in the yard at ten years old, I am not going to worry to much just yet. There is a balance somewhere in there and often, it is very hard to see clearly.

When I talk about my son’s difference I focus on the strengths. Yes, I talk about the challenges so the people around us have some kind of an understanding of why we get certain reactions to things. I want the people in my son’s life to understand that he is flowing with ability, even with a diagnosis that is a disability. Do I avoid some situations that may cause a negative reaction? Yes I do if I can, but I also tend to want him to surprise us and sometimes he does exactly that. The important element is being given a chance to surprise us and the chance to be around people who know he is capable.

            So from time to time, and more often than not, If I am flying through a grocery store and trying to avoid my sons flying limbs...you might see while I'm dodging those flying limbs I can still smile back at you. Maybe it's a challenging moment of the day but it's just a moment and when that moment is over, we still have our smiles. Those smiles are real, because like our autistic son I don't see the logic in faking a smile. Enjoy the moments good or bad because they never last and then....a new one begins.