We hear the word meltdown all the time when it comes to autism. For myself, this word has a hold on me because I am always trying to out run it knowing it's going to show up at any given moment. More often then not it sneaks in to our day out in public where everyone can see and immediately the assumption is, my child is out of control or I am a lazy parent for not putting a stop to that madness.
That's why today I am going to explain the meltdown. An important thing to describe so people might see what is really going on in a different light.
The meltdown is a tricky thing for the whole family. We don't always know the trigger, we can't always see it coming, and once it comes into play, we can't always stop it. I have found as my son gets bigger it's much harder to out run. I used to pack along all kinds of distractions and things to keep him focused on one thing at a time but with time he really has outgrown that trick. It no longer works when the meltdown hits. The older he gets it seems the more his mind is taking in, which means more to process. I can see how much he takes in just by watching him and I can't imagine what it is like for him when it becomes to much or he just can't shift his thoughts from one place to another, but I can guess what it's like from seeing it happen time and time again.
For one, people need to understand a parent can't reason with thier child when this happens. To a point before it happens, and if we see it building, we can try but ultimately when it takes hold, and a it's a firm hold, we become helpless.
The best way to describe it for our son is he is literally hit by a tidal wave that crashes into his mind. He has no control and niether do we. If we are at home and the tidal wave hits he will eventually go into his room and shut the door. If we open the door to soon he takes longer to come back to us and he will shut it again. That alone tells me he is desperatly trying to get himself back from this place and he does not want us to be a part of it. At times that wave hits him so hard he is so far underwater It really feels like he has just vanished for a bit.
As a parent I want to get him back from this place that is drowning him, but I can't. He might be trying to hit me, but I can look in his eyes and see he isn't there. The hitting looks like a violent child who is treating his parent horribly but I see him desperately begging for help.
An example of the meltdown process would be the last time we tried a therapy appointment. When we entered the building there was big physical therapy machines, people in wheelchairs, 4 receptionists, and it was all new. At that point, the waters started to white cap. Then we met the therapist and had to follow her through the building down a hallway into a new room, with balloons and new noisy toys. This is the point the boat starts to rock. Then, it's time for the therapist to ask mom to step out and she shuts the door leaving only her, a stranger, and his security just left the room. He was at that point looking for his life vest.
The bubbles come out, the therapist begins to test his frustration tolerance. They call it getting to know him, but the tidal wave is gaining momentum.
He is now in a room with a stranger who is tesing his tolerance level and he can't communicate he is not ok with this.....the tidal wave just hit. He spent the better part of that day trying to get back on dry land. This was a predictable meltdown, but there are many we don't always see coming. I do know there is a process to it and sometimes it's a slow process, other times it's a fast one.
Either way the best way to keep from rocking the scensory boat is to figure out for each case of autism what causes the white caps to form and if it's possible, get them to calmer waters.
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