Not writing about autism today or maybe I am in a round about way. Today is about who you surround yourself with in life and the security needed to be your best.
Before my son was diagnosed I felt very alone. Bombarded with people indirectly telling me what I was doing wrong. I guess the one thing the autism intervention services offered at first was the feeling of not being alone. Finally a group of people who understood why we had been living life on repeat and why I was parenting the way I was. Pretty soon they began to direct me on parenting as well, and it was back to alone all over again.
The people you are closest to have to be understanding, non judgmental, patient, and reliable. Not reliable in way they jump in and take over, but reliable in a way that just makes you feel secure having them in your life.
They have to be the kind of people that if my child has a meltdown, they don't look at me as though I can fix it. They have to know I am a good parent and I am doing everything I can every day. They have to understand if my son doesn't react to them or play like other kids would, he will with time. They have to be the kind of people that you know will always be there for you even if you never need them.
I met a woman yesterday who had concerns her toddler was autistic and shared with me some of the things she was going through in her personal life. A young women and from being around her son for a short time, she has good reason to be concerned. It was the things she told me about some of her circumstances that really caught my attention because it was full of untrustworthy people and not a lot for her to rely on.
Children crave security even though they don't know exactly what it is, they feel it and they want that feeling. As we become adults we tend to forget how important security really is, but we never stop craving it. Once we are grown up we don't have our moms and dads everyday to provide it like when we were kids, so we have to find people in the grown up world who provide it. Easier said then done sometimes, but not impossible.
I am very blessed, I have a family that has never wavered in providing me with security. Even when I made choices that were baffling, they have always provided me with a soft landing. There have been times in my life security was completely gone, inflicted upon myself but when I am with my family all of that just goes away. In such a powerful way just the first seconds of seeing there faces makes me feel a surge of safety. I do not see there faces enough and intend to change that.
This is the way everyone you surround yourself should make you feel and it's not always family that gives you this feeling. I feel the same way when I am able to get together with friends I have been blessed with in my life. A small group of unwavering women that make me feel strong, and thank God for them.
You see the less alone you feel the stronger the parent you will be. Even if it's just a small amount of people, they can provide a huge amount of security that one thousand people couldn't measure up to, and your children will benefit from how you feel in every way.
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