The irony is, she might have felt sorry for me.

               Yesterday was a beautiful day out and felt like summer so took my son to the waterfront to investigate the beach and play at the playground. We have done this a couple of times and always a successful outing so far. Funny thing about my son is the next visit will almost always reflect the last visit. This means if we park in the same area as last time he takes the same investigation route and I can actually determine exactly where he will go or which way to tell him to go to keep him cooperating. Last visit we walked down the beach and back towards the dock, out on the dock, and over to the playground. This visit went exactly the same way although I didn’t let him go all the way to the end of the dock this time because he was physically not in full control and I didn’t want him to end up in the water. Sometimes he runs and shakes his head from side to side and flat out doesn’t stop to look where he is going.

                It took some work to get him to understand we where stopping halfway down the doc and turning around but with some patience he was able to turn around and walk back without much protest. I try to remember to use different wording when something like this comes up because his mind is telling him we are supposed to go to the end of the dock just like the last visit so I have to get down in front of him and tell him it is OK to turn around and go back. Instead of just flat out no turn around because not only is he a little boy who wants to go all the way down the dock, he is a little boy who thinks he is supposed to go all the way down the dock. As soon as I got low and told him it was ok to turn around he did just that and let out a cute little “its ok” while he walked back.

                Then it was time for the playground and since it was a warm sunny day the playground was a very busy place. Kids everywhere and parents everywhere with screaming, shouting, and running. Needless to say he didn’t play on the slide long because of how busy the playground was but he did sit on a toy for a bit and watch all zipped up and hot in a winter coat because he isn’t able to transition out of that yet, even while sitting in the hot sun, his mind won’t let it go. Luckily we have different types of coats and the one we chose yesterday was the lightest one he has but it seems we will have to find even lighter to get through this challenge.

                Sitting at a busy playground can be one of the most interesting places to observe how people interact with their children and yesterday I observed a tyrant on the loose. A child who refused to listen and not because he couldn’t but basically because no one in their right mind would have listened to this parent. Standing tall on top of a hill for the whole park to see and hear she shouted repeatedly at her son to stop playing and come to her. Each time getting louder and angrier and completely non effective. Her son was maybe 9 or 10 and continued to log role down the hill as many times as he pleased laughing and rolling faster each time. After mom yelled a number of times she finally stood up and even though I didn’t think it was possible she yelled louder. This went on for quite a while and no one was really paying any attention to her until the moment came. The moment parents step over the tyrant line in public and the moment she had enough. Soon she yelled out to him “If you don’t come over here now, I am going to pull down your pants and smack your ass in front of all of these people!!!” That was when every parent in the park turned to look at her and I have no idea how she managed not to get everyone’s attention before that point. Now if you grew up in the 80’s and before that, this wasn’t an uncommon thing to hear but in today’s society you just don’t do that. From watching her I honestly think her loud display was just that and it was more a public statement of her own parenting, not a good one but she seemed to have a lot of pride on top of that hill. Physically I am not sure she could have been capable of her threat but it’s not uncommon for parents to snap with a crowd to see it happen.

                Here is a mom fed up with her child but I think it’s safe to say her child is probably fed up with her in a few ways also. She just busted out a public threat to pull down his pants and spank him or “smack your ass” was her words in front of at least 30 other parents and even more children.  When she yelled it all eyes were on her, for about five seconds. Then everyone turned away and ignored her but I was waiting to see if she really would attempt it and how was everyone going to react if she did. This is not 1980 and no one wants to see a 9 year old get whooped with his pants down at a park. Eventually she yelled enough to annoy him into listening to her but I can’t imagine what life at home is like for both of them.

                When you have a child who is different and you go through a rude awakening as to what being a parent really means and you end up paying more attention to how people interact with their own children. Not just the bad like the event I described but the good to. When every moment matters and little progress is huge your views change right along with your parenting. My son was all zipped up in a coat on a hot day and I had to reason with him to get him to walk off the dock and both of those things are perfectly fine. In fact Just being able to go to the park at a time during the day he doesn’t typically leave the house and having it be a good trip was a blessing. So when you see a women standing loud on a hill threatening her boy, you know she hasn’t had her rude awakening and who knows if she will but I do know her son was talking to everyone and log rolling down a hill like a 9 year old should. That alone was something she didn’t appreciate or understand was a blessing.

                We left the park peacefully the same way we left the last time, to the right of the bathrooms, around the grass and to the van. Predictable but peaceful and that’s all that matters to me but when we walked away I couldn’t help but think of the irony in the fact if I would have spoken to that angry mom and would have told her my son was autistic SHE might have felt sorry for ME and really it was the other way around.