How small can a detail be to throw off my son? Very small and sometimes I tell myself he will grow used to a change only to be proven wrong.
Around a month ago I set out find new shoes for my son and just picking out shoes can be a challenge. For one, I can't take him with me because he will not stand still in a department store. For two I have to inspect the shoes for anything that might cause him discomfort and that could be a shoe being to heavy, made of out of something that doesn't bend well, where will hit on his ankle, and of course because he is not with me will it even fit. When I set out to find him some shoes I had an idea of what I needed, the size, and knew a short flexible canvas that hit just below the ankle would be the best.
The day I searched every slip or Velcro shoe I found was not the right size and decided to get him some lace up shoes. With the thought having him sit every day to lace them up would actually be good for his patience and a helpful way to get him to sit still for a just a moment. In my mind I thought I had it all figured out and the lace ups would create a positive situation. Found the perfect shoes and he loved them. They fit perfectly and he sits still every day to lace up those shoes. Total success and smile on my face for a job well done, sort of.
The shoes a month later and daily protest are going to have to be replaced. The shoelaces are causing a daily irritation for him and the only reason the shoelaces are a problem is because they do not fall on his shoes in the proper place, wherever that may be. The first couple of weeks he stopped walking a lot to bend over and try to place the shoelaces where he wanted them to stay. Every day I had hoped he would ignore them but every day they irritated him more. When he could not get to stay in place he began walking on his heels with the idea they would fall back into place. So, after weeks we had a boy walking on his heels and stopping every few feet to adjust the laces. The only thing that keeps him moving in these shoes is to tuck the laces under the bottom of his pant leg so he cannot see them which doesn't last long. Now leading to mom stopping to tuck them under, to Phillip stopping to place them properly, to walking on our heals, to flat out taking them off.
When I picked him up from the autism center today his therapist told me the shoes had to go for his session and that was when I knew the shoes had to go in general. The smallest detail that I thought he might just get used to eventually started to become a bigger challenge than I ever thought it could have been. You and I fully understand shoelaces move and that is OK but the autism can't stand it when the shoelaces move and the autism also causes him to focus on the annoyance.
New shoes it will be and this time I can add one more important detail to my shoe shopping adventures which will be no more shoelaces. Once we resolve this problem he will stop walking on his heels and our constant stopping to adjust will come to end, although I can't say the stopping is a bad thing because he is difficult to keep up with at full speed but full speed is much better than knowing one small detail will not let his mind go other places. Most of the time autism keeps him in constant motion but the combination of a couple of strings and autism slowed him way down this time.
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