Preschool conversation came up today between autism moms at the center. Some kids are in preschool now, others have attempted it and backing off until they are more prepared, and some like my son have not gone yet at all. Not all preschools are autism ready and just finding one that will suit your child and understand the needs is a scary thing for many parent's, all parent's really but a little different when autism is involved. We cannot just pick a preschool and run with it, we cannot always meet the required schedule in place as often times it could be to much and price for preschool if it's one that needs to be paid for is not cheap.
We have fears for our kids when this process begins even if we know we are sending our child to a great place, the fear is always there. We all seemed to have one thing very much in common during our quick conversation and that was "what if I push for to much to fast." That statement is a very real concern and it's easy to explain.
It has nothing to do with coddling or being afraid to put our children out into the world like most people might think. I can't count how many times in the past two years people have said to me, "if you don't do it, you will be holding him back." Whatever the event may be that has been said repeatedly to me and eventually I just began to pretend I didn't hear it. Reason being, raising a child with autism is so very different that a theory like that doesn't seem to apply like most people tend to believe. After all we see it in articles and on the media all the time. Early intervention and yes that is very important but many people perceive early intervention as get that child out there and get that autism under control. Harsh way to put it but I have had conversations with people who have that idea planted into there minds when it comes to autism.
Here is an easy explanation as to why I am OK with not pushing my child in all directions as soon as I am told to. Pushing is good, pushing to a point that has become to much will in fact set my son back. Being to overwhelmed can put him a stand still with is progress or even send him into regression if it has really been to much. Three hours is what he attends at the autism center and most of that three hours is work disguised as fun, a perfect approach by the way, but at the end of three hours he climbs into the mini van completely exhausted. I cannot have the stereo on and sometimes even speaking to him is to much. He goes into power down mode and I let him do just that. The bottom line when someone says to me "If you don't do it, you will be holding him back" the thought in the back of my mind is always but If I do it before he is ready I will send him back, and he has come way to far in a short time. I have to chose very carefully what is right and when, many times not having a clue as another mom said this morning. We find out once it begins but I think we all know putting the breaks on when needed is not "holding" our children back. More like "holding" the progress we have seen them make and that progress is way to precious to afford loosing based on what we are simply told to do.
Sometimes an autism parent will take a step back to simply keep things moving forward.
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