We often hear about the challenges of raising a child with autism and the hardships a parent faces but is there a flip side? Yes, there certainly is here. I can only write on our own experience and I will say there are pros and cons to my sons difference. Autism cons are most often seen in public when a meltdown hits or my son kicks into top speed from so much to explore and the pros often aren't seen or really even spoken about enough. Today I am listing some of those pros and believe it or not you might see how autism has at times made parenting a bit easier than most would expect.
1. Bedtime. There is never a night he disagrees with going to bed. That's right! A child with autism who will in fact stop everything, turn everything off, and march right up to bed when I say it's time. He climbs into bed rolls over and in a short amount of time falls asleep. Autism does sleep here, as long as we go about it the same way every night.
2. He is never messy. My son does not like to make a mess and prefers an order to things. If he finds a toy in a toy box, you can bet it will not go far from that toy box.
3. Doesn't fuss over leaving things at home. If we are leaving the house all I have to do is tell him the toy stays home and he then puts it down because after all, mom just said that is where it belongs and there is logic in that. He does it and at 3 years old does not ask why or try to change my mind. Of course he doesn't have that communication yet but even a child with limited speech can get that point across if they want to.
4. Almost never cries for a toy in a store. My son has never wanted to leave a store with a toy in hand. I say almost because if he isn't allowed to inspect a toy he is interested in he then might get upset but never does he want to actually take it home. If he finds it in a store then the store must be it's proper place. I once fought with him at two years old to walk out of a toy store with a toy plane I bought for him. He did not want to leave without putting it back on the shelf. I ended up putting it in my pocket and giving it to him later on that day, at home.
5. His eating habits are limited. He never requests junk foods and this makes for an easy grocery list.
6. He needs routine. Routine can make for easy transitions if it is a daily habit such as getting ready to go the autism center. I say it, he knows exactly what to do and does it. If he knows what to expect than I know what to expect and it flows fairly easy.
7. Getting out of the bath. All I have to do is turn on music from How to Train Your Dragon and that is part of his routine that tells him it's time to get out. No fuss, no questioning just hit play on the Ipad and he climbs out.
8. Verbal praise. My son thrives on verbal praise and interaction, he just loves it. If he does a great job simply saying it or dancing means the world to him. Material rewards are totally irrelevant to him. He does not see the value in material reward at all, it's just stuff.
9. Kindness. He is naturally kind to everyone. Kids his age very often push each other and are testing the world around them, trying to figure it all out. I see parents all the time having to stop a child and tell them to be nice. I have never had to do this and most of the time I have to interfere because he does not know how to react and will be run right over.
10. Work ethic. Yes, a three year old can have a work ethic that seems to be just part of who he is. He has only cried one time leaving him at the center in 6 months 5 days a week and it was when we first began. He now approaches his session like it is his job and it's time to work, on most days marching right in ready to begin with or without the therapist for the day.
There you have it, ten pros to raising an child with autism and really if I sat here long enough I could come up with much more. I have often asked myself if these things are related to autism or are they just him and at this point I can answer that by saying it's both. All of these things I could probably turn and point out the cons of each but that's not what the mesg of this blog is about. It's very easy to get absorbed by the challenges and overlook little elements that really are at times outweighing those challenges, but for us the pros are there. When I discuss autism with people they ask about the difficulties because that is what they know autism to be, difficult. They aren't wrong but they are also not always aware there are some very strong positives along the way.
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