We have those moments that no one can possibly understand how huge they are unless they have been on this journey every day. Moments that are an amazing breakthrough for my son that to others might just seem like a child doing what a child will do. We have family visiting from Denver that Phillip has met for the first time and with that visit aunts, uncles, and cousins that live nearby have all gathered at grandma and grandpa's house for the last two days.
A few breakthroughs have happened just in the last 48 hours with this event beginning with just being able to stay for a long time to visit, hours, and completely out of routine. A blessing because to often visits with anyone are cut short. Day one my son pushed through keeping himself occupied and relaxed for the entire visit. Day two I could see very clearly his amazing ability to cope with the change had taken a bit of a tole on him. Typical household sounds such as the dryer running caused him to cover his ears, a big clue things have kicked up a notch. We were off to visit once again only this time I worried he had used up all of his effort the day before and we would be leaving quickly.
His patience on day two was becoming limited and after a short time clothing became to much. Soon we had a little boy in a pull up running around in full hyper speed. Refusing to eat the very food he almost never refuses, pizza. Before the clothing removal he made his way out to the van and wanted to leave but a quick thinking big brother of mine went outside and distracted him by playing with him. His uncle may not have realized it but he did in fact help in a huge way by changing the direction of my son's mind and that allowed us to stay much longer. At one point I had decided his hyper activity was a clue we needed to call it a night but his hyper activity wouldn't even allow him to be still to put his clothes back on. Again that actually bought us more time and I was just hoping he would calm down before a meltdown. Which he did with some time to let that energy out.
Here is the moment that nearly took my breath away. All of the family was gathered in the living room and we prepared to leave, calm and fully clothed. Our family has made a habit of asking Phillip for high fives before we leave, an easy way to interact with a comfort zone but the day before he hugged a different uncle for the first time so I wondered just how far he could take that interaction. with some direction I was watching my son go all around the room hugging every single relative, eight of them, and two were very new to him. This might seem to be no big deal but when your senses force you away from people in general it is an enormous moment for him. Especially after an evening of bordering on sensory overload that was preventing him having very much self control.
Is it love? Of course it is. Is it trust? Very much so but autism doesn't always allow him to express that. His senses take over and prevent him from being able to. There have been times even one of his siblings who he sees every single day couldn't get a hug or kiss from him because it overwhelms him. At the end of the night what everyone else might have thought was just a round of hugs, was in fact a round of miracles and a moment I will never forget. I also expect it to keep happening because once that barrier is broken down he is able to do it again and again. He took charge of something that is in fact in charge of him most of the time and when he does this, he doesn't forget how to repeat that control. It's really finding that control that is the challenge and that can take a very long time, worth every second of the wait.
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