It took me a very long time to figure our son
needed life to repeat itself and I mean, really repeat to ease him. I am not
talking about some chart on the wall, or a simple plan. What I am talking about
is life on repeat nearly every day. Ground Hog Day kind of repeat when changes are small but the days are always similar.
Each morning we wake up and he goes to the couch.
While he sits and gathers himself for the day I make a pot of coffee, put his
frozen gluten free waffle in the toaster and get his cup of milk. When I am
done we put on one of his shows, also a mandatory repeat, I sit and blog and he
eats his waffle. The repeats go on all day, and something very small can upset
him. Something as small as a habit he has being interrupted is an issue. For
example this morning he opened a book to a certain page, when he looks at this
page, he slaps each dinosaur. Someone walks over and tries to point out the
number one on the page and he shuts the book and lets them know, it was an
unwelcome interruption.
These repeats I am used to and really, I enjoy the
ease of knowing what works for him. What becomes difficult is when others don't
understand this, when someone wants to change something because yes, it can be
hard to do the same thing day in and day out. His reaction can be confusing if
it seems like such a small change it really shouldn't be a big deal.There is also a flip side to this. A big change such as a road trip is such
a drastic change he forgets about the repeats. So many things to see and take
in, the repeats quickly become a distant memory for the time being. On the
other hand when those big changes come, it can be so much, he can't stop taking
it all in. So eventually he lets us know that is also an unwelcome
interruption.
The complicated mind of autism is why I have a
difficult time understanding the therapies we have experienced so far. I am at
odds with our local rehab facility right now, for what I consider a good
reason. On their end, they don't agree.
What I have found with therapies so far is you walk
in feeling like you’re doing a good thing for your child; you walk out feeling
like you just caused an unnecessary, unwelcome interruption. They say they have
experience with autism, but the problem is it may not be experience with autism
alone that is needed. Experience with each child's personality and what their
autism individually provides should be a first step. A series of twenty
questions is not enough.
Getting to know each case as an individual first
before the jug of bubbles comes out would greatly benefit the process. Yes it
would take time, but that time would be very well spent to begin an actual plan
for each individual.
My last conversation with the rehab supervisor went
like this; she said to me...” the therapist said he did some things an autistic
child would not do." My response to that in my mind was... you just proved
my point with that statement. He is autistic so comparing him to each autism
case, and this goes for every case...is not going to work.
This approach puts the child and parents on a
repeat process with new faces and places, and it is a very unwelcome
interruption.
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