Our son has a very busy mind. Is this because of
the autism or is this just Phillip? I don't know, but I can see the autism come
out every day. As his mom and spending the last year chasing him, I have been
forced to have a very busy mind to. Countless hours doing research and looking
for answers. Not one day goes by autism doesn't invade my mind. When I first
started researching I was like most people, asking why.
What I found was there are no answers. Tons of
information and all of it different, none of it confirmed. I do lean towards
the genetics and diet side of things but being raised by a biologist has programmed
me that way. I was also raised in Christian home, taught to trust in faith and
that God makes no mistakes. I know this is a dying way of thinking in this
crazy world, but I have lived it and I believe in it. I believe God and science
go hand in hand.
Society tells us autism is a flaw and if your child
doesn't fit into the normal guidelines and social expectations, then you need
to work to modify your child until they do. What does that mean? It means
taking your child the way he or she is born, embracing a crew of autism
interventionists, and working to fix what doesn't meet the expectations.
At first I was grateful for that crew, but slowly I
started seeing things differently. Being told over and over what needs to be
fixed, being handed stacks of papers on how to get him to be what society will
expect of him, started to make me wonder what the heck we are doing here.
I am no autism expert or child psychologist but I am a mother and if there is one thing I know it's you don't nurture a child by trying to change them so everyone else is comfortable. You feed their gifts; you help them to understand they are amazing and unstoppable. Just because he is autistic doesn't mean he doesn't have self esteem to feed. So I have to ask myself what are we doing to him while we are sitting around talking about how to fix him? How is this making him feel about who he is?
On that note, I have never been able to conform in
my own life and have never felt I needed to meet social expectations. Why on
earth would I start now....?
AMEN!!!!!!! I agree wholeheartedly! :) My daughter has ADD,ADHD, and ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). She even at one point was thought to have Asperger's which I believe was a slight form of Autism. I have struggled for years with her. Where one person thinks she is just a "Bad Kid", I see her as sometimes not being able to control her emotions and actions. But as her mom I love her unconditionally. I wish other people did as well. I feel I need to even give her more to make up for what is lacked by others. Then people tell me I spoil her or I am not parenting her the "right way". EVERY child is different. Who is to say what is "Right" & what is "Wrong". It is hard and we have struggled for years. I worry now about her going into High School. The Doctor's that she has seen always want to just give her medications, and we did try it for awhile until Alexis chose to get off of them (She was becoming depressed, etc on them) It was Concerta. Anyway I really love this blog. You are doing a great job. Love ya Jenn. Kristi
ReplyDeleteYou are a great mom! Interesting thing, all the directions I am given to help my son conform and do it the "right" way...I somtimes feel like giving back to them because it's the wrong way..lol. Glad your reading and enjoying Kristi!
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