Sitting here with my cup of coffee that is stronger than
usual on purpose, the big kids are off to school, and the little man is rocking
some One Direction in only jet plane underwear. He slept in them and has for a
weeks now with no problems at all. Interesting thing is he wears underwear the
majority of the day and never has an accident in them. Is he potty trained? No
he is not and has not used the potty one time.
We have
reached a point in the potty training process I cannot do one more thing to
make the process easier. Beginning last fall I was able to get him used to
sitting on a potty by building him a tiny little table with some sensory items
that slipped over his lap. Showing him sitting the potty was ok to do and found
a ton of success with that but he did not actually use the potty. We have done
visuals, social stories, and apps to the point he knows the entire process step
by step. He even knows how to wipe his backside and does it with speech. He will
check the toilet paper and ask, “it is clean?”. I have hung a mirror on the
wall across from the potty so he can entertain himself making faces. That never
seems to get old for him by the way and probably one of the best things I did
during this process. He has taken it
upon himself to sit for a very long time on the potty, over an hour, and still
no use.
We had one
day he removed the toddler seat and he fell into the potty. I peaked in to
check on him just as he was sitting down and he did in fact fall right in with
his little legs sticking straight up in the air and yelling for help. Honestly
thought that day would be the end of his try for a while as the shock of the cold
water hit him by complete surprise. Yet the next day he was back at the potty
attack with full intent to make it happen.
He stays
dry at night and wears underwear all day long, in fact I am 99% confident we
could leave the house for a very long time in underwear and come home
completely dry. I haven’t done it yet but considering it. So what is the hold
up? It’s simple and yet so entirely complicated I have no idea what I can
possibly do for him. Communication and not between him and I because It’s actually
very surprising how potty training has come along without much verbal
communication. The communication between his mind and body are not connecting
just yet.
His self
control is extremely impressive because he will absolutely not go potty in his
underwear no matter what and really when we go places he will not go potty
until he has returned home. Now, you would think, just put him on the potty
when you get home. Doesn’t work and he will continue to hold it until he is
suffering in physical pain. I have read every single potty training trick in
relation to autism and no autism and none of it applies. One was sent to me
yesterday on how to incorporate a timer and sit him on the potty every half
hour. Won’t work because his mind tells him going potty is supposed to happen
in a diaper and only a diaper. We put one on, he goes potty and we go right
back to underwear.
There is
no trick to getting him any further at this point and it is all up to his mind
connecting with his body to make the transition, comfortably. I can’t get frustrated
and try to force it because we will move backwards and it will take even longer
for this to happen. My son has taught me a style of parenting that begins with
this phrase every single day… Easy does it.
Right along with pay attention and understand. If I didn’t know this was
a mind and body communication block, I could cause some serious damage for him
trying to learn. Without understanding what is happening I would be a brick wall
in the middle of his mind and body. He already has to find that connection and
I sure don’t want to be the one thing that makes it even more difficult. His try is strong and he is working hard at
finding this connection. We already know autism has a hard time connecting senses.
There can be too much sensory input and there can too little sensory input but
no matter which one we face….understand, pay attention, and EASY DOES IT.
I
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