Naturally good natured

               I came across a post this morning on Facebook that asked parents how they explain lying to their preschoolers. This one I had to check out and it wasn’t on an autism page. This topic has actually been on my mind lately and was very curious to see what other parents said. There were a lot of great answers that might help a 3 year old and up learn not to lie and some not great answers but all ages and a ton of parents with a lying battle on their hands.

                It’s common for small kids to begin that stage and hard to get a point across that it’s not ok. I did it as a kid and so did my brothers. The moment I knew my parents were going to take action for what I had done, I lied.  I lied as fast and as sloppy as ever to avoid punishment. I was never a good liar as a kid and I always felt horrible after I lied. Probably because my punishment was always stepped up for whatever I did and telling a sloppy lie on top of it.  Growing up in the 80’s didn’t offer any natural parenting websites for our parents to seek advice. They handled it the old fashioned way like all the other parents in the neighborhood. You felt the lie on your backside and you didn’t forget it.

                As we get older we feel the effects of a lie and we don’t just feel them we see how we impact others. We start to learn, hopefully, that lying doesn’t just come with consequences but it impacts our character. It impacts people around us and how they generally feel about being around us. We learn that a one lie is just a take off point for producing more lies and we also learn we don’t just affect the quality of our own life but the quality of others lives around us. If you’re paying attention you chose to treat the people around you like they deserve the truth because they are worth that much to you. You also chose to clear your own life of dishonesty because it’s just simply not worth it.

                So, now I will tell you my son has never lied.  I know he is not a big talker but he has actually never done anything that would call for a preschool lie. If he could talk just like all the other kids I don’t believe he would lie. His nature is just simply good and I can’t think of one time he was sneaky or naughty with reason enough to avoid truth. If someone were to ask me, “what is the naughtiest thing he has ever done?” I would draw a complete blank.  I don’t consider a meltdown at naughty and even though he is three and a half he has never done one dang thing that is bad. He used to eat dirt and I told him bad, but it was sensory related. He used to run way too far and way too fast, also autism related. Many things that some people would consider naughty are actually his mind figuring the out the world around him.

                Yesterday I thought he was being a bit naughty when I tried to leave grandpas and he was kicking and screaming, until I realized while we were pulling away we left his two small toys in the house he brought with him. Couldn’t tell me by the way so he reacted by crying and screaming. I stopped and ran in to get his toys and as soon as he had them he took a deep breath and cleared the tears from his face. He just never does anything I would say is bad or wrong that I have to step in and teach him a lesson. It truly never happens. It’s one the most awesome things about him and as much as I love it I also worry just a bit because the rest of the world is not this way. I pray he holds on to this part of himself and not just for my own parenting selfishness because he is young and I have no doubt he will give me some common challenges as time goes by. I pray he holds onto this for his own character and so the people in his life feel his quality and their own from knowing him. It is so rare to find people who are generally honest and good, they are like an endangered species.

                I don’t any advice for correcting a tiny fibber other than creating the knowledge it hurts the people you love because that really is the bottom line and I do think most kids do not set out to hurt people they love. Hopefully they just learn that is one of the worst feelings to put into your life and will work to avoid it.