Actions speak louder than words and it's a way of life.

                 Yesterday we took a short trip to the local Bug Museum. A tiny little side of the road adventure with a ton of tiny little things inside to investigate. Once I was able to get my son inside the building and steer him away from the all of the new things to see in the parking lot I knew right away it was in fact the perfect stop to make for all the kids to enjoy. Not only were there thousands of bugs to investigate but reptiles as well with endless things to see.

                The attention span of my son goes in two directions it seems. He is either so focused it’s hard to get him to turn away or he doesn’t seem to focus at all and I end up working like crazy just to get him to look at something. He has taken on the habit of bringing a small toy with him when we leave the house lately and typically it’s a GI Joe or some kind of toy in similar size and he brought the toy in with him. We spent an hour or more at the museum and the awesome part was I didn’t have to keep much of an eye on him because of the way things were set up. It seemed they set it up perfectly for a touch and learn mind so we had a little freedom to relax.

                The front of the store was a gift shop and the back was the creepy crawly section and once all four of us were in the front of the store it was the chance to call it good and head out. Phillip was not completely ready to move his mind out of the building but he wasn’t protesting either. When I managed to get him near the front door I noticed he did not have his toy from home in his hand. In fact he didn’t have that toy in his hands the entire time we where there and I grew a bit worried. He would notice at some point it was lost and there were many other kids who had gone through the building. One of them might have picked it up and considering the building was full of tiny items the odds of finding it quickly didn’t look good. Now I have gotten him through the adventure completely calm and tolerant of the environment and I had managed to nearly get him out of the building easily and we had just hit a road block. We could leave and just forget the toy but the odds of him forgetting didn’t look good because he does not forget.

                I said to Phillip, “where is your toy?” knowing he wasn’t going to answer but when I said it he stopped immediately and quickly ran to the corner of the store. In a box full of little gel like squishy toy caterpillars he started to dig. Under those caterpillars he pulled out his toy, walked by the desk with a quiet bye and out to the van. He had placed hidden it in the box under the toys when we went into the building and did not forget where he placed it for safe keeping. He has done this a few times lately and I can only assume he won’t give to me to hold because he is fully aware I lose everything I touch. Strong possibility he trusts his own brain to remember more than mine and I can’t argue that one bit, smart move on his part really.

                I can say his focus is intense or not at all and many people would say his autism causes lack of attention in general but the system of placing the toy in a hidden place when we arrived and knowing where it was before we left proves otherwise doesn’t it. If we would have left without the toy he would have remembered before leaving the parking lot, I know because it’s happened before. He would have screaming out without the words to tell me why and I may have assumed he just didn’t want to leave yet. I would have forgotten the toy but he would have never forgotten it and could never have explained to me his toy was buried at the bug museum. So we left peacefully with no protest and no transition problem toy in hand and thank goodness no other child moved or took that toy, because that would have caused another problem altogether. His attention might be hard to grab and his focus is one way or another but his memory is beyond impressive and literally blows my mind. At the same time he is giving my own memory the work out it needs to keep up. He doesn’t have the words to tell me and the last time this happened I thought his screams were just in protest of leaving or a transition challenge. I have had to keep up with this because with autism actions speak louder than words that aren’t there. That old saying is not just a metaphor for us, it is truly a way of life.