A Father's Day Song I Did Not Correct

   It's Father's Day! Great dads are truly awesome and I know this for a fact because I have an absolutely great dad who in my opinion is what a dad should be in every way. In the last few days I have noticed some hostility on social media when it comes to single parents in regard to single moms potentially taking credit on Father's Day. Raising kids without fathers and for autism families this seems to be especially true. It's not an easy ride and many dads run for whatever reason but I also know there are some single dads out there raising kids with and without autism alone because a mother ran as well. Both are not uncommon to hear anymore.

   Yesterday my son sang me a Happy Father's Day song he learned at school and no I didn't tell him I am not his father.  I didn't sit down and explain his father is absent in his life and correct his song he  worked extremely hard to learn and spontaneously sing to me.  The reason beyond how hard he works to just do something like this is easy, I am both.  Just like single fathers who are busting their backs every day to do the work of two.  Moms who have to toughen up a bit and dads who have to soften up a bit are a common dynamic in our society these days.

   We get up in morning and take on the day acting as both when we need to, on little sleep and a lot of motivation.  Some of that motivation is to ensure our child doesn't feel the absence of the absent parent because we are kicking ass at being everything they need.  On Father's Day a single mom could wallow in the absence just as on Mother's Day a single father could but it doesn't create a presence to point out the absence and it certainly doesn't change what is required of us through the day.  When my son, who used to be nonverbal, busts out a Father's Day song that ends with an I love you and a smile there is no way I would take away that moment he has worked tirelessly for by pointing out an absence.  He knows a man is a father and he knows I am his mom.  He sees and understands socially that other kids have dads present because his awareness is impeccable. If he wants to sing the song he learned to mom, he gets a fist bump, a hug, and a great job!

   I say on Father's Day a single mom is allowed to celebrate her presence as both just as on Mother's Day a dad should be allowed to celebrate as both.  When you are doing both jobs to the best of your ability it's okay to recognize that and pat yourself on the back.  So, happy Father's Day to moms who didn't intend on being a father but are trying, a late happy Mother's Day to those dads who didn't intend on being a mother and never stop trying.  Also, a huge politically correct and socially acceptable happy Father's Day to dads who's entire motivation is to be the best dad a child could ever have because no matter how hard someone tries, no one can truly take the place of that.