First rule of autism....talk about autism is a quote I once read on Facebook and when your raising awareness this is pretty important or just trying to help the people close to you understand. Over the last few years, moments have stood out to me as some of the greatest moments for us as a family and it completely demolishes that first rule of autism. Maybe it's selfish but sometimes the word autism in general makes me tired and I am mother of 3 so I am tired enough.
There has been times I have been in company that the topic of autism seems to take over, and the interest/curiosity is appreciated and important but as an autism mom, some of my favorite moments have been around people who don't talk about autism at all. I know, shame on me for that feeling but there is no greater feeling than being around people who know there is much more to my son and our family in general than autism. They might know if my son retreats for some quiet time why he does it and they might know if I keep a close eye and leave early why I do it but they don't talk about it and it's a bit of a friendship gift they don't even know they are giving me. Also a gift to my son because for a while there I was afraid he would think his first name was autism it came up so much in conversation around him. Thanks to ABA and his ability to speak a little we have confirmed he knows his name is Phillip, thank goodness!
An autism parent really never mentally gets a break from autism, which is something we have very much in common with our kids, we are in it together 24/7. We think about it from the moment the day begins to the moment it ends and many parents throughout the night, if they are coping with sleep issues. We are constantly considering routine, behaviors, what works, what doesn't, autism friendly places to go, autism not friendly places to not go, how far from home we can go, how long we can or cannot stay, and all the things that happen in between because no matter how much we think about autism through the day we can't control everything. Things happen no matter what, no matter how hard we work at it, and no matter how many things we try to prevent.
The moment we are with friends, family, or whoever it may be and we can just talk about life or basically any topic that doesn't involve autism, it's a moment of freedom and personally I cherish it. The moment our children are just playing, hopefully with other children, and not hearing the word autism is very much a moment of cherished freedom for them too. I love those moments I can watch my son play and he is just allowed to be a kid like other kids. I also love those moments I can just be a mom like other moms. Trust me, if something is about to happen or could happen the topic will come up but another good rule to remember about autism is...you don't always have to talk about autism.
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