Forget the Autism Stigma

   Every morning I sit down with my coffee and log into my computer to look up the latest autism news. I read the latest information and some inspiring stories but something happens almost each and every time that makes my brain shut down. Not only shut down but I  want to sit down with the writer and beg them to stop forcing people to create an idea of autism that so many kids and adults do not fit into.

   The information might be interesting and the story a nice read but then we hit the part the writer decides to describe autism, just in case someone lives in a cave totally cut off from the outside world and hasn't heard of it yet, they quickly jump to the autism stigma that is so frustrating for some. They explain autism as a disability that is on the rise and that's fact but then they jump to the autism description that is consistently pushed into the minds of everyone. Autism struggles with empathy, expressing feelings, acts out in meltdowns sometimes violent, struggles with social cues and we all know the rest. We are constantly fed stories about autism in the media and many of the stories that grab the attention of the media are just not what many of us experience in our homes.

   My son has autism. He has never acted out violently or even led anyone to believe he would. He has never bitten me or thrown anything in a fit of rage. He cares very much about how the people around him feel to an impressive level. Not an impressive level for being autistic, an impressive level as a human being.  He has a great sense of humor even with limited communication and that's a hard thing to get across when you can't speak. He expresses his feeling just like all of us do because he feels just like all of us do. When he walks into a room he isn't aware he struggles socially, not yet anyway, but the people in the room have been taught to believe he will. They see him as socially challenged but he does not. The way autism is described creates the idea he isn't what he is expected to be by society, which in turn creates the challenge. People hold that stigma and expect it after all it's what they have been taught to expect from autism.

   I always find a ton of irony on articles that will state no two cases are alike and then jump to a list of autism traits. I often wonder how can we push such a direct list of traits on society when not every autistic fits. Or are just flat out completely misunderstood. Not every parent is struggling so much with autism they are suicidal or contemplating murder to escape the autism challenges but we see it in the media way to often. Yes, autism is hard and it's more work than a parent expects. It's draining and just keeping up mentally and physically is by far one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced in this life. It's a daily effort that has to be handled with love and patience but my child is not a robot. He is not lost in an alter universe and he is not what many of these articles describe him to be. I also know I am not the only parent who feels this way. Many parents and autistic adults will read the description of autism and sink a bit, because it causes more harm than good in society. Getting to know someone with autism is the best way to know what autism brings to that individual and each will in fact be very different.

   Forget what you read about what autism is supposed to be like. Forget the stigma pushed upon us all daily. Forget the label of being socially lacking compared to the rest of us. The only way a child with autism feels socially challenged is by being treated differently. If an article says no two are alike than treat people with autism exactly that way, just like the rest of the people in the world. Like every single one of us on earth. All different and something to offer everyone in some way if we allow it to happen.