Be Grateful

   As an autism parent I constantly see people with children around me who take things for granted. I notice not because I see them as ungrateful but because at times I wonder if they are grateful. They often seem unaware of what it might be like to have to adjust in ways only an autism parent would understand. They aren't ungrateful because of course they love their children, they just at times seem oblivious to how different it could really be. Here is a list of the things I have noticed along this journey that I have often wanted to tell someone just how grateful they might want to be.

1. Having a conversation with their child.
I was once standing in line at a Ross and a very chatty 4 year old was in line with mom ahead of me. He had so much to say and mom quickly told him to stop talking. If a child can be chatty and express what is going on in their mind, be grateful.

2. Sitting in a cart at the grocery store while a parent reads labels.
I almost always see this scenario and this is one I have never experienced with my son. If a child is able to even stay anxiety free and calm in a grocery store, be grateful.

3. Parents talking about a child's favorite foods.
Typically parents will talk about a variety of foods their child likes or dislikes. If a child has accepted a variety of foods to begin with, be grateful.

4. Taking a child to see the latest Disney movie or family event in general.
If a child can process the world without extreme anxiety,be grateful.

5. Getting a babysitter.
If you are able to leave your child with others to maintain a social life of your own, for the love of God be grateful.

6. A child talking back to a parent and getting themselves a time out.
If a child has the ability to express that stubborn streak with words, of course address it but be grateful.

7. Potty training and how quickly a child is catching on.
If a child has the ability to sit long enough to master this life skill quickly, be grateful.

8. A child having a friend over to play.
Be grateful.

9. A child dressed themselves that day and their clothes don't match.
If a child can put their own clothes on without help, be grateful.

10. A child being enrolled in mainstream sports or typical programs such as swimming lessons early on.
Not an option for some to incorporate right away, be grateful.

11. Getting a child's attention simply by saying their name one time.
I often have to get in front of my son and create a disruption as to what he is focused on. Saying his name one time happens but not often, be grateful.

12. Knowing what a child's favorite book is.
Some children struggle to sit through an entire book let alone are able to say which is a favorite, be grateful.

13. Singing songs together in the car to a child's new favorite song over and over.
I have listened to parents complain about this and roll their eyes about the song of choice. Some parents would give the world to sing a really bad song on repeat with their child, be grateful.

14. A child using a fork or spoon to eat.
Be grateful

15. Temper tantrum at home for not getting what they want.
Many parents just want to be able to leave home without their child falling apart and can't even express what they want, be grateful.

   None of these differences make a parent ungrateful and all of these things go unnoticed as a blessing to most people. It's life as they know it just as autism is life as we know it but at the same time as I have sat and listened to these things come up, I stay very quiet. I can reflect back to when my teenagers where little but I cannot relate when it comes to my child with autism. It's just not the same parenting world, it truly changes how a parent views the world around them. Many times I wish I could introduce that way of thinking to others without autism forcing it to happen. Be grateful and aware of the blessings around you, large or small, because some are experiencing life a very different way.