Check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.

I have noticed something in the busy world and it’s a little depressing. The robotic nature of people on the go is everywhere. Maybe I am more sensitive to this because I have a son I was told would be this way when it comes to autism. I can tell you now that is not the case at all even with routine he is very much in tune with the emotions of people. He may show it differently but it’s there.

                When I am out and about I can watch people go from customer service mode to complete shut down until the next person comes along. Just trying to be friendly to people in general seems to be forced in society. Even if you get a good reaction the person seems surprised to have been approached in a human way. When I say human I mean, with a smile or a kind word just in case that has been forgotten by the general public. People aren’t even aware of each other anymore and I consider myself a pretty antisocial person. I don’t like big crowds and extremely shy with people I don't know but I am still aware if people around me and the desire to relate to each other.

                Have we become so plugged in and in a hurry to keep up with social expectations we have actually forgotten what social means in the first place?

Social

Adjective

1. Pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations: a social club.

2. Seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious.

3. Of, pertaining to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event.

4. Living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings.

5. Of or pertaining to human society, especially as a body divided into classes according to status: social rank

 

                Just a few definitions of social and now that I am actually off the mountain and mixed into society I am wondering if people really are social beings anymore. Yes with people we know well of course we are but what has happened to the way we approach each other as strangers in general? Do we still even know how or is it now considered odd or weird to be kind and polite to people we don’t know. Everywhere I go I run into robots unless I force them to into small talk and let me tell ya, I do. At first they seem to think I may have doubled up on a Prozac prescription and then they seem to relax and remember how to be a human being again. Discomfort and confusion turns into ease and a smile.

                Today I was driving in town with my daughter who is twelve. A man was on the side of the road with a sign that read, I need help. Not for drugs or alcohol just help. Call me a sucker if you will but I gave my daughter a dollar to hand him and she seemed to enjoy giving it to him. I don’t care what he spends that dollar on, what I care about is a man who has reached a point in this life he feels he needs to do this with 30,000$ cars driving by paying no mind to a clear social disability of everyone involved. From the man to the people who ignore him, we are all responsible for the way we choose to be aware of society.

                I have spent 5 years isolated from society for the most part on the side of a mountain with most of my communication being kids and now that I am back in the rat race I find it totally ironic autism is considered socially disabled. I did before the move but now I am even more at odds with the social pressure we are putting on autistics to fit in. When you really take a good hard look around as you go about your day the greater population has in fact become socially disabled. I can tell you this when it comes to autism things need to be logical and understood. How can autism ever keep up socially if logic and understanding is no longer a part of human nature in general? Why do we take a difference and put an expectation on it that we ourselves may not even be close to living up to in the big picture of life.

                Think about this as you are living day to day and try to adjust to each other even if it’s just a smile or friendly tone. If we are going to bombard an alarming rate of children being born autistic with a standard in society to meet,  we as society need to actually live up to that expectation. In the words of the artist Ice Cube way back in the day and not exactly but close to it…We need to check ourselves, before we wreck ourselves, or possibly an entire generation of kids who are fighting to live up to a social standard we can’t even seem to figure out for ourselves.

Keep this mama going for one more hour!

               Well we are two days into the move and things are going really well. Phillip was more than fantastic on the drive over, which was 9 hours stuck in a car seat. Not one time did he protest the road trip which was awesome because in the van it was just me, him, and two hamsters.  Once we arrived he was excited to explore the house and crashed at my folk’s house with ease. The next day was a bit more of a challenge but still no real complaints from him. Just the slow adjustment of the day that also was pretty easy.

                Thank God for all of the help from family and a good friend of my dad’s unloading the U-haul and my amazing sister-in-law for putting my kitchen together. I was truly at a loss on that one with the size difference but she tackled it with grace. The kids rooms are smaller and at first glance I was afraid they would never fit their things in or be able to organize but that also came together quicker than I expected. The dog broke under the fence only once and seems to be at ease with being in the house with us the majority of her time. I had forgotten what suburbia was like but it’s coming back to me quickly. I look out the windows and all I see is more windows, tall houses, and fast moving world full of robots, who seem to have to force smiles.

                This morning the kids went in to the school to take a quick placement test and will begin school in the morning. I sat there watching the kids walking by and boy was I glad I was not in their shoes. Although from the small amount of kids I watched, I really couldn’t find the clicks like you normally would. They all looked the same to me but we will see how the day goes tomorrow for them. The same system as when I was a kid with basically the same rules but sure not the same scene I saw walking through those halls. I guess twenty years changes things or at least how you see things.

                Then it was on to find some medical attention for my daughter and apparently when you are new in town this is nearly impossible to do. If you carry state insurance no one will see you, even if you carry private as well. The state program over rides the private and good to know because if that is the case the state program will not be missed. That being said it was on to an emergency room as that was the only place that would see her…three hours later, we had care and out the door.

                What I didn’t accomplish was a trip to the autism center but hopefully that will happen tomorrow. I did manage to investigate into the special education program while sitting at the Jr high and was blown away by the programs available to family’s right down to a dads group. I don’t see this dad attending anything like that but the fact it is available is just awesome for dads who would attend. Resource after resource is all I could see and boy the feeling of knowing it is there in every direction is huge and a bit overwhelming. Since Phillip was diagnosed I have been helping him nearly alone at home and yes we have made great progress but knowing it is not entirely up to me all day everyday is just a big weight off my shoulders. What we need is out there and it’s close.

                So for now things are progressing and we are all adjusting to the busy world we have been so far away from for so long. I personally am very happy to near family and the things in life the kids have missed out on. Opportunities they would have never had are now going to available even if they choose not to take them, they are there. My entire family is within driving distance and the big town life is coming back to me slowly. Although I may need a Starbucks intervention soon along with lessons on how order coffee like a local. I tend to get a funny look when they ask me what size and I say…a big one. Apparently that is to direct and I need to learn coffee lingo to order properly. Tempting to walk up to the counter and just say, “keep my eyes open and give it to me in the biggest cup you can find. Flavor is no matter as long as you can keep this mama going for one more hour.”

Sanity and a hearty sense of humor!

                 The total chaos of moving is completely in effect, almost completely. I have been loading boxes for over a month and only two days away I feel like enough has just not gotten done. Once you bust through the first layer of stuff it seems there are more layers. The move is not the chaos I am worried about because personally I kind of like moving. It is exciting and gives me a chance to rid of things we just shouldn’t be holding on to. This move is especially exciting for me as we are moving to the place I grew up and since I was eighteen years old I have only spent a few short days at a time. I will have my family close and people I grew up with that I haven’t seen in years. Some people who really did play a big part in my life that I have never forgotten as they are impossible to forget. I have carried their smiles with me for a very long time but having the time to see those smiles in person and catch up will be so much better.

                What happens with Phillip during this move is a total mystery and yes I am worried how he will adjust. The big kids will adjust fine and make new friends with ease. They are in Junior High and I know the school they are going to is a great one with many more things for them to do to keep busy in a positive way. With Phillip it is going to go one of two ways, either very hard or very easy. I have learned during this journey with him to expect the unexpected and never assume anything.

                We will have a much bigger home for him to burn energy and hide in, with a nice fenced in safe backyard to play in. The fence is a God sent by the way and I am thrilled to have that security for him. We will live in a suburban neighborhood with busy streets so the running will be a huge challenge and trying to establish boundaries. It seems like we have finally reached the boundaries here and will begin all over again. The places we go will be much bigger, louder, faster, and overwhelming for him at first and I know this will cause some distress until he adjusts. With all this he will also have more things to do and positive things coming his way.

                For now I know some of the things to expect but my mind is going into limbo until we are actually there and it is unfolding right in front of me. I don’t expect anything from him at this point because I can’t. One step at a time and right now the first step is to drive for nine hours and get to see in person our new home which my amazing mom and dad found for us. The drive alone is enough to worry about and jumping over that worry to the next will for sure send me right over the edge into crazy town. One step at a time with no expectations is the only way to breathe easy and stay calm.

                My next blog will not be until next week when we get our internet all set up. I have no doubt between now and then life is going to throw some interesting things our way. I am really hoping those interesting things bring laughter and excitement but there is always the chance I will take a detour into crazy town along the way. In fact…let’s just assume that is going to happen and hope it makes for a good story. I hope all of you have easy days ahead and until my next blog….please pray for my sanity and hearty sense of humor!

No labels for GMO? Are you kidding me?

              Well the election is over and last night was spent on the edge of my seat waiting like most of America. I was disappointed Obama was given four more years but another issue weighed on me like a 600lb man, literally

               Proposition 37, which was a bill in California the whole country should have been voting on to label GMO food and it was shot down. A label, just a little notification to Americans the food they are about to consume has unknown consequences. When I discovered this was voted against I was completely shocked as this was an American choice. I had to wonder if people know what GMO is. Or what I really wanted to now was why on earth people would not want to be informed. Are we so secure in out of site out of mind we actually don’t want to know?

                GMO’s have been in nearly everything we eat for ten years mostly unknown to the greater population but becoming more understood. This is what I know personally from my own life that makes me so passionate about the cause. I have two older kids both born before GMO was introduced to our systems. My older children do not have autism and yes they have received all of their vaccinations to date. During that ten years my thyroid stopped working which at one time I healed by adding algae to my diet. When I stopped my thyroid also stopped. GERD was introduced to me and I had to medicate to repair possible holes developing in my stomach lining. Then I discovered I was pre-diabetic and had to limit my sugar intake on top of avoiding acidic foods. Now we have Gastric Reflux, hypothyroidism, and pre-diabetes at 29 years old and 115lbs.

                During my pregnancy with Phillip I had to keep track of my pre-diabetes to make sure we did not go into full on diabetes. I was able to manage that without any kind of intervention from the doctor and then I have a healthy 7.7lb baby boy. I breast feed him like all three of my kids to give him the healthiest start in life I can. He cries a lot but not colic. He hates loud noises, being held by anyone but mom or dad, and seems to already take comfort in a system as an infant. He is vaccinated and at 16 months he begins to fade. At two I realize my son has autism and begin endless nights of research.

                If you are wondering if I am targeting vaccines I am not. Although if his system was compromised in a way we can’t see on the outside, yes I do believe vaccines would not have been allowed to flow through him properly. Around this time I am fighting allergies. A new fight I have never experienced in my life. Allergies at 33 years old and no doctor can pin point what I am allergic to. We ensure nothing in the house could be the cause. Get rid of a bird, bleach the hell out of everything, and I vacuum every day in case it’s the dog. Although I have been around dogs my whole life so I had doubts it was her at all. When you’re sick with no answer you will blame everything.

                Today I have an autistic child who just had an allergic reaction to the only antibiotic he has ever taken. He needs a probiotic to have a bowel system that works properly and an algae supplement seems to giving him some ease neurologically. I take an allergy pill every day of the year and I have no idea why. All I know is I can’t function if I don’t have relief from whatever allergy I have. All of these things pull my brain towards GMO. Only two countries do not require a label and that would be America and Canada. Some countries have demanded a label or have flat out said no to GMO without a vote by their citizens even required because common sense and consequences stepped in before a vote was ever needed.

                I have no understanding of why in the state of California, where the doors for same sex marriage were opened, a label to give us a choice was turned down. Are we so selfish in our out of site out of mind culture we are willing to gamble with our own lives and our children’s lives? We will legalize marijuana, we will fight for same sex marriage, we want free health care and we will hold on to a failing economy. We will complain about our health and the effects are right in front of us in society every day but we don’t want to know what is in our food? That is devastating insight into the priorities of way to many Americans. That alone will keep you from sleeping sound at night.

 

Spirulina or a blessing? Either way it's mind blowing!

            http://vitamins.lovetoknow.com/Spirulina_for_Autism  

 

                This week has been a real eye opener with new things coming at us from every direction. One of the new things happening here is only what I can call my son busting out of locked doors autism has been holding him hostage behind. I have always been a big advocate for the genetic side of autism and still am but over the last three years it has been hard to ignore some of the medical clues thrown at me.

                From constant bowel problems, the lost look in his eyes, and the way his mind would not allow him to communicate. Yes he has physical ways of communication but at the same time, I could always see the desire in him to verbally communicate. My son has had basically no therapy to this point with lack of resources and the ones we did have were just not effective from day one. Twice he regressed from even attempting to utilize what we did have available to us. Heartbreaking both times and one of the biggest setbacks with this was therapists putting his frustration level to the test. To learn his limits and a tactic I can’t understand. A child who lives on the brink of frustration every day is taken into a room with a stranger only to be pushed beyond what they can tolerate for a test? This never made sense to me at all and clearly he felt the same way.

                We solved the bowel issues for the most part with a simple probiotic given to him daily but when life changes a bit that issue does come back. I can say that is stress related and doesn’t seem to be related to his digestive system like it used to be. We tried gluten free for some time and although a good diet for anyone, he is very thin and again lack of resources sent us back to regular but healthy eating. Gluten free was good for him, but the picky side of him or sensory side of him limited his food intake to a point of concern. Then we had the allergic reaction to the only antibiotic he has ever taken which again sent me into research mode and the medical side of autism.

                Late nights of reading until my eyes begged me to stop I found myself researching Spirulina. A blue algae supplement with a ton of benefits. Just to name a few, anti-inflammatory, balanced immune system, protein up the ying yang and so much more. It is even thought to fend off those GMO active DNA cells that sit in our system.  Very much worth reading about for anyone who is looking into taking back their health. I take this every day now and fatigue is no longer my side kick.

                I also starting giving Phillip 1/8^th of a teaspoon in his juice every day and he doesn’t seem to mind the taste one bit. The protein benefit is a God sent alone just because tapioca and bacon are not cutting it. There are also some changes that have come quick in the last week. First change that was a bit shocking was a new show of emotion and if you are raising a child with autism you know sometimes the only emotions that are clearly expressed are joy and anger. On day two I told Phillip it was bedtime and typically no reaction to this comment but to our surprise he whimpered. A typical three year old reaction that did not escalate into tantrum and it blew my mind. The same day he ate his dinner and more. Something he has actually never done. The next day we heard a few new words come from him while playing. Four, total for the day and again my mind was blown. Now let’s move onto day five and we have eight sign language and words come out of his mouth. Please, thank you, ball, eat, book, all done, more, and help.  He hasn’t said these things or signed them but knew them. Something opened the door to let them out all together.

                Was it Spirulina? I don’t know for sure and wish will all my might I could know for sure. We are going to continue using it every day and see how changes play out. Getting ready for a huge move and if the doors are in fact open then his reactions will be different through the changes. If he is able to communicate emotions in a healthier way then I will have to credit Sprunila for creating some kind of balance in his system. Until then it is a blessing and taking it in as I watch it happen, thankful for every moment.

                 Aside from autism I would suggest anyone look into Spirulina and do some research. The above link is just one break down of the algea but there is much more info to look into.

 

Start with kindness...even a small act of it.

                 A lot going on in the world right now and seems a bit overwhelming at times I think for a lot of people. Or if you are on the east coast, extremely overwhelming. We are about to find out who our president will be for the next four years and we all know this has people very much on edge no matter who you support. The world is a crazy place and we are all hanging onto hope for the human race.

                Just before Halloween we stopped at Wal-Mart to find a last min costume for Phillip. By chance I found one that was missing the mask and gloves. Of course I pointed it out to the checker because if you are buying half of a costume you like to think you won’t have to pay full price. The checker told me the only discount offered no matter what is 10% off and that was the limit. Wal-Mart policy was to not give any more than that under any circumstance. I told her it was fine and knew this was a company policy and nothing could be done but she called a manager anyway to just to see what she would say. The manager came over and immediately I could see she had a hard exterior and was no way she was going to budge on the 10%. We started talking and she told me I needed to go back to the costumes and find the rest of the costume which was not an option. I told the employees it wasn’t that big of deal and I was ok with the 10% and I was polite to them. Not their fault they work for a huge greedy corporation who only cares about profit. In fact with the economy the way it is, I have respect for them for even going to work every day at such a rotten place to work.

                Once we settled the manager quickly told the checker to lower the price much lower price than 10% off which surprised the checker. When the manager walked away she told me I must have caught her on a good day. My response was there is no reason to get upset with her. She is just doing her job they way she is told to. That is when the checker told me about a customer from the day before who was trying to receive a discount on a TV. He grew so angry with her over the 10% discount he went on to call her horrible names. Names most people wouldn’t be able to listen to and get up the next day to go to work. It disgusted me to think someone would be so rude and inhuman that another person’s worth in life was ok to trample on over a TV. Stories like this put a dent in my hope for the human race.

                Today I turned on the news and saw the NY marathon runners decided to run anyway even after the mayor canceled it. I suspect trying to keep the hope alive which is nice, but all I could think was they are spending the day running with a huge amount of people not to far away who need some help from people who have the energy run a marathon. Again, a dent in my hope for the human race.

                While you go about your day think about the fact that maybe you are just one person in a huge overwhelming world, you still have the ability to think outside the box. Think about your actions towards others and how you can affect someone in a big way with a small action. Kindness is a great place to start in a world where kindness stands out and people need to feel it from others. Take some time to help someone just because you can even if it means just holding a door and giving someone a smile that needs it. Go just a bit out of your way to do something you would like to see more of in society because for the most part we all have one thing in common. We all want more of this from each other and possibly we want more of it from ourselves.

Updates from past blogs. Lessons learned.

Today I am going to update from earlier blogs. Life changes quickly and sometimes I can look back at a blog and realize just how fast it happens.

                  Authority or Power? They are not the same...

This update is one I tend to be grateful for and lessons learned for more than just me. If you have read this one you know there was some static this day with my older kids school. I was not happy with the authority and the authority was not happy with me but at a football game I saw the receptionist and I didn’t like knowing that her only interaction with me was an angry little woman storming out of the school office. I apologized to her for my actions and felt much better after speaking with her briefly. Even if her opinion stayed the same I gave it my best. The principle and I have also come back to common ground and both admit the day could have gone differently. Peace was restored which brings me to the next update.

That dang normal bus...or is it?

The bus warden has been stopped. My son did decide to sit in the seat that was off limits and yes, things did get a bit more heated and difficult. Proud of him for standing up to this person knowing it could go very bad for him. When all was said the done the authority caught wind of the situation and ended it immediately. The bus bully no longer calls the shots and the kids are free to sit as they please. So that being said I have eat the title of the first update because in this case authority was in fact power and used that power to make a lot of kids feel secure and relaxed again. Also to let the bully know they are not actually in charge, an important thing for bullies to be reminded of.

 Number one challenge potty training by far!

This update is one that I have truly learned a lot from. Yes, the transition was in fact the number one challenge. It was so much of a challenge we have had to back off of potty training and wait a bit longer to try again. Even having to get him comfortable in a diaper again and right now you might be baffled. You see we mastered the sitting still. We mastered understanding the process and we mastered all the steps involved, even staying dry at night. What I could not find a way to battle around was my sons disapproval in regard to the change. He seems to want to use the potty at times but he can not connect the act of doing this with his routine and without very much verbal communication it is an even bigger challenge. He held it so long he put himself in constant pain and soon he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t connect the potty to his mind but he had in fact connected going in a diaper was not the way. He became stuck in limbo and stuck in a lot of pain. Very hard to explain but for now, we back off and wait as I was told from the start. Patience was the wise word from a friend by the name of Susan and it was the wisest advice I have been given, now taken truly to heart.

That is the updates for now and this week will be spent packing and preparing for a move back to my hometown. A drastic change for all of us and I can only guess will bring some very good stories!