If you have never...

 If you have never.....

Sat down to be told your child has a disability and handed a diagnosis to confirm.
Been treated like you don't know your own child by therapists or doctors.
Lost family, friends, or a spouse due to not accepting that diagnosis.
Cried with your child due to physical struggles even doctors can't help you solve.
Solved the problem on your own and eased the struggle for your child.
Been called a bad parent.
Gone days with only what seems like minutes of sleep.
Sought strangers online who can possibly offer support because none exists in your personal world.
Gone days, months, or years repeating just one small word with the hopes of hearing it back.
Cried because that word was spoken.
Cried because you fear it will never come.
Left a public place carrying a screaming and hitting child with a smile as you go.
Cried when you got to the car.
Fixed hundreds of meals gone uneaten.
Cried because your child sat down and took a bite.
Searched relentlessly for supplements that will take the place of nutrition that you know is not there.
Celebrated because you found one that was accepted.
Had to refuse events that you want to be at, repeatedly.
Placed locks on windows and locks on doors for your child's own protection, no matter what age.
Planned to attend an event based on sound, crowd, and escape route.
Celebrated because it went better than expected.
Cried because it was to much and the escape route failed.
Celebrated a moment of progress for a child and parent you have never met in person.
Explained a behavior only to know the person listening thinks your insane.
Signed up for a program that sends someone to your home to take over, just to take a nap.
Wished you had access to a program that offers that.
Driven or moved long distance because that is the closest helpful therapy available.
Been unable to move or drive long distance and do not have helpful therapies available.
Fought with an insurance company to cover it and lost or won the battle.
Tried numerous diets with the hope one works just a little.
Gone weeks, months, or years without taking a break because you are your child's only voice.
Been told your strength is superhuman, only to know you are in fact not superhuman.
Wondered if your doing it all wrong.
Understood the progress made, no matter how small, means you are doing it all right.
Had someone tell you, your child might go on to live a normal life.
Sat and thought about a "normal" life and realized it's all bull shit.
Been overwhelmingly grateful for a teacher, therapist, or friend who gets it.
Accepted circumstance and learned more than you could ever imagine you would have in life.


   If you have never experienced these things and many more it would be ideal to not tell someone what does or does not cause autism. It's autism awareness month and that seems to bring out the people who think they understand but there is much more to understanding autism than just reading about it online or knowing a statistic. The experience is a crazy ride full of celebrations and heartaches and living it is so much more than a few "study suggest" articles blasted out on the Internet. It's not autism argue cause month, it's not autism vs vaccine month, it's not make autism parents want to crawl in a hole month. It's AWARENESS month and many people are feeling to many are not really aware at all. It's not about just being aware of autism. It's about being aware of the effect and feeling what others might feel because that is how understanding is created.

   According to Wikipedia.org
 Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects, or sensory patterns. In this level of consciousness, sense data can be confirmed by an observer without necessarily implying understanding. More broadly, it is the state or quality of being aware of something. In biological psychology, awareness is defined as a human's or an animal's perception and cognitive reaction to a condition or event.

Don't let the research drive you mad...

   In honor of Autism Awareness month I think it's important to give people a perspective on why an autism parent might sometimes disengage from a cause conversation or grow a bit frustrated with the science/research we are given. This blog is especially important for the parents who are new to an autism diagnosis. A new autism parent will go through the cycle of convincing themselves they can find the cause and will in fact drive themselves partially insane trying. Today I am listing all of the studies I have come across just in the last two years on the cause of autism or possible connections to autism researchers have provided us with. This list is off the top of my head and I know more autism parents could add and probably triple the length of the list.

Vaccines
Genetics
Inducing labor
C-sections
Lack of oxygen during birth
Diabetes
Gestational diabetes
Flu shot while pregnant
Swine flu shot while pregnant
Flu while pregnant
Fever while pregnant
GMO
Obese mom
Obese dad
Age of mom
Age of dad
Age of grandparents
To much TV
Pollution in the air
Pollution in the water
Linoleum flooring
Chemicals in household products
Flame retardant in furniture
To much Tylenol
Tylenol given before vaccine
Yeast overgrowth in the body
Gluten intolerance
Cows milk intolerance
Taking antidepressants while pregnant
Random change in brain development between 15 and 18 months
Gods punishment for fathers sins and yes that is a real theory I come across believe it or not.

   Autism parents are not just utilizing extreme patience with their overwhelmingly amazing children, they utilizing extreme patience with the research given to us, both good and bad. One thing we know for sure is that it is not due to anything a parent may have done wrong, although according to this list a new autism parent could easily feel that way. We also know, according to research, autism can be connected to just about anything and that is exactly why everyone should be aware and understanding.

CDC's position is that vaccines...

 .
   By now most of us have been informed on the new numbers in regard to autism, a 30% increase in two years and this stirs up some questions or more of them. Some new questions and old questions which all bring no certain answers. My son will be five years old this year and hopefully able to enroll in the school district in the fall, although that's still to be determined. One of my many fears with beginning public school is of course of updated vaccine schedule. He will be due for another MMR and this is a touchy subject for most. I understand the importance of vaccines and I also understand why so many avoid it. I understand both sides of the argument but my own personal choice is to avoid until I am feel 100% satisfied my son's immune system can tolerate it. Problem is, the only way to find out is to do it and that is a risk I am not willing to take after working so hard to make progress.

  There is to much telling me my son's body will not tolerate another vaccine and I stand firm on that decision until someone can tell me beyond a doubt he will be just fine. Not data or online articles but my own child's immune system tolerance. No two are alike and that is 100% certain. In my quest to find faith in the CDC I simply asked them directly, which we all can do, and the answer was worth a share. Keep in mind, I knew I would not receive what I was asking for and I can only imagine the eye rolling on the other end but the first line of the CDC response I found interesting. Interesting because they state clearly, in regard to autism, we are perfectly safe. A bold statement that would have lead me to believe every child with autism is the same and considering something as simple as skipping a probiotic can aggravate my child's autism, I am still on my quest for faith in the CDC.

My question:  My son will be turning 5 this year and I am told due for an MMR. He received a large round of vaccines before turning 2 and in my opinion, suffered neurological damage(autism). This has not been proven or disproved. I want to protect my child from disease but I fear another vaccine will cause more harm to him. I understand the CDC research claims the vaccine is process safe and would ask you, how can you confirm my son will NOT suffer any complications from another MMR? Can you send me a statement taking responsibility for any autism related side effects, such as regression in general if we chose to move forward?  Autism is permanent and any complications could also be very permanent.
Thank you


CDC Answer:

Dear Jennifer:

 

I understand your concerns about your son receiving any product which may worsen his condition.  As you note, CDC’s position is that vaccines have no role in the cause or aggravation of autism, or autism spectrum disorders.

 

Detailed discussions about autism, vaccines, and other related concerns are here:  http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Concerns/Autism/Index.html

 

 

MMR vaccine can cause a variety of adverse events, including fever, rash, and much less commonly, severe allergic reactions, seizures associated with fever, a blood disorder called idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, as well as possibly encephalitis, or brain inflammation.  The vast majority of children, particularly with the second dose of MMR vaccine, have no significant reactions at all.

 

You should discuss your concerns with your son’s doctor(s), and assess the benefits and risks for your son.  No one can offer a guarantee he will have no reaction to this vaccine, any other vaccine, or any medication for that matter.  All we can say is the risks are very small in general, but the decision to vaccinate should be made by the parent(s) and healthcare providers together.

 

CAPT Raymond A. Strikas, MD, MPH, FACP

U.S. Public Health Service

Education, Information, and Partnership Branch

Immunization Services Division

National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

1600 Clifton Road, N.E., MS A-19

Atlanta, GA  30333

 

  

Put the bus add back up and don't forget no two cases are the same.

 http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Seattle-Children-s-Hospital-pulls-autism-bus-ads-4654573.php


   Lately I have felt pulling back from the blog was a good idea and I have done that. Also disconnecting a bit from the online world because real life needs more connecting and I intend to do just that but this morning I heard about the story above on the radio returning home from dropping my son off at the autism center. I have to tell you it really bothered me.

   Here is why, advocates were angry about the add on the Seattle bus putting autism in a disease category and had the add pulled with an apology to boot. What a ridiculous thing to do is all that entered my mind and the reason is we cannot deny that thousands of families face extreme troubles on a daily basis. We cannot deny that thousands of kids are inflicted with numerous health problems, seizures, and total lack of being able to take in the world around them. We also cannot deny some kids are coming out of autism or rather making amazing progress and what we could say is healing over time.

   Disability or disease? How can we as advocates decide what autism is for some families? How can an advocate deny the fact that autism needs attention in the worst way from the medical community and science? Maybe the add could have been written differently, wipe out probably wasn't the best choice of words. Solve would have been ideal and maybe that would have calmed some people down a bit but in this world, maybe not.

   Here is a an example of a person these advocates didn't consider in there quest to remove autism from the bus. A young mother with an autistic child. She isn't sure if he was born that way or if something triggered it but she knows he was fine up until a certain age. All of sudden her child has numerous allergies, the child nearly cannot have a bowel movement but once a week, the child can not longer control tantrums or outbursts, the child no longer sleeps but two or three hours a night, will not eat but a selection of three foods. None of which are healthy and no matter what she tries nothing works. Her child cannot speak and because of that she cannot leave her child with anyone. Her days are spent trying to figure out the ups and downs of autism. She sees food plays a big role and yet doctors have not one answer for her. She is told genetic with a possible environmental trigger and we can say cancer or diabetes follows that same pattern to a point.

  Autism is up 74% in the ten years and the medical community has not one answer for families who need it. It is a bit disturbing to me a group of advocates would ignore the reality that autism needs more medical attention and would be offended by an add on a bus. My son is autistic and not only would I be glad to see that add but also feel a little relief the cause is being pushed medically to be solved. Different wording so not to offend would be wise but to have it removed all together is to have the attention pulled back from what so desperately needs it. There is acceptance and then there is lack of site into lives so greatly effected. We cannot disconnect ourselves from children and adults that are truly suffering or advocating for autism doesn't any good in the first place. It doesn't matter if a person believes it is flat out genetic or something caused it, either way if no one knows for sure so who gets to decide what autism really is?

   I personally don't see my son as disabled or diseased. He is a boy fighting to be understood. You can be damn sure I would like to go into a doctors office and not feel as though I was just the educator on autism when I walk out. I would like to be able to take my son in for a doctors appointment and have some kind of resolve to a challenge when we walk out instead of medical providers being just as, if not more confused than I am. Then again I can barely get my son into the building let alone a doctors appointment because the touch of strangers frightens him. I say put the bus add back up with the words "Solve cancer, diabetes, and autism" and let it role.

A question for doctors, specialists, and Autism Speaks research teams.

               This morning I was sitting in the van with my son in the autism center parking lot waiting to go in. Another mom and her child about my son’s age, three, were walking around outside waiting to go in as well. Her son was exactly what my son was a year ago and I had almost forgotten what that was like. He was repeating steps over and over again and his control over his body was what you would call a bit clumsy. Every single tiny distraction grabbed him and he would have to stop to inspect it no matter what. I could look at his mom and feel the exhaustion from it because I remember it so well. Exhausting repetition and having to do all of the thinking for her child, right along with trying to keep things moving in the right direction. Just going into the building gave her numerous distractions to get him past.

                A year ago my son didn’t speak at all, barely would pay any attention to other people, his emotions seemed to be flat lined, other than frustration. Nothing worked to get through to him and just getting through the day was completely exhausting and often heartbreaking. Life has changed drastically since then. We moved because there was no support and the family I thought I had in the area at the time stopped being a part of life. My son’s father is no longer in our lives for a few different reasons but I would be lying if I said autism wasn’t too hard for him.

                My son completely regressed after a large round of vaccines from advanced at 18 months to regressing back to 6 months old at 2 years old. Before I lose anyone on that comment, please bear with me until the end.  Many people debate the vaccine effect and I understand that but keep reading.  A heavy dose of vaccines at one time can overwhelm an immune system leading to the immune system attacking the body it’s supposed to protect. As I understand that this can have a neurological effect. At 2.5 we had him diagnosed with autism and the outlook was he needed 40 hours of therapy a week. Physical, speech, and behavioral therapy was recommended at the time and we were told that is the only way he will make progress. I wasn’t on board with 40 hours of therapy for a 2 year old because that is a grown adults full time job hours and I felt it was to dang much. Not only that but the therapies we had available were not ideal for him. He hated it all from day one and his frustration level was overflowing. Not a day passed he didn’t have multiple meltdowns, not one day. Also not one day passed I wasn’t terribly judged for doing what I felt was right and consistently told I was holding him back by not doing what the specialists said I had to do.

                We are told autism is genetic with some kind of environmental key that pulls the trigger on the autism gene, of course no one knows what that is and according to the insane research of an autism mom, it’s everything. A year ago I felt my son would possibly never speak or say I love you. I felt he would never function at the rate he was before autism again. I had strong hope he would but realistically where he was at, he seemed so far gone it would be years of therapy. He has never had more than one hour of speech therapy. He never went to physical therapy and only now has he been at the autism center for just over a month at 15 hours a week but his progress began drastically 6 months ago.

                He speaks and is working hard at communication with success. He interacts with everyone and his personality has been blasting through. This morning I gave him his daily high five before going into the center and told him work hard, like I always do. This morning he also gave me my daily high five only followed it with “OK mom” and off he went. He didn’t repeat my words or ignore them, he responded just like a child would, or would want to. I say want to because I believe he always wanted to and couldn’t.

                Here is my point; I have read numerous stories of kids “coming” out of autism and kids making a ton of “progress.” When I think about all the things that have changed in the past 6 months that I felt I wouldn’t see happen for years I have one question for scientists and doctors…..why does it seem my child is healing from something I was told is a genetic difference? A genetic difference that has risen 75% in the past 5 years. My son is still autistic and still has many challenges to face but compared to a year ago he is not the same boy or even close to it. Without the therapies and what I used to call the rescue mission attack he has made an enormous amount of progress on his own. In fact even more mind blowing is we no longer do a daily probiotic, he is not on a special diet, and I have not been doing one thing to force this progress or address a health issue.

                To end today I ask the specialists, doctors, Autism Speaks research teams, and whoever else is trying to help us understand autism….is my son making progress or can we add healing to that question and if so what the hell is going on? Spontaneous progress at an unexplainable rate was never mentioned to me when we received our diagnosis.

A study that will never happen.

                The blasted vaccine debate has risen again this morning and the arguments that follow are all over the map. Studies this studies that followed by the words assumption, fact, proven, saves lives, be careful, fear propaganda, and inconclusive. Possibly why it took me so dang long to accept and admit I watched the regression of my child happen right before my eyes. Those crazy vaccine haters and all of their lack of correct information and conspiracy theories is what many people think. It honestly makes a parent want to keep an opinion to themselves if they know it played in role in autism for their child. No one wants to be looked at as crazy or ignorant on top of managing autism and keeping a family functioning on a daily basis. You don’t want a finger pointed at you for saying a large dose of vaccines stole the light from your child’s eyes but it has happened, to so many people I don’t even understand why the argument still goes on.

                I stay out of these arguments simply because I am not for or against vaccines. I am not against them because diseases that kill or harm children need to combated but I am not for because there is no procedure to test a child’s body for safety before they are administered. Before is the key word there because it is my belief the conflict is in the structure of the body not the actual vaccine created to protect us. I have read hundreds of studies like most autism parents until my eyes can’t read one more word. My brain can’t take one more dose of information, no pun intended. I can’t stand one more argument of parents attacking each other with the words in the first paragraph and if I see the word debunked one more time it might take a vaccine for insanity to bring me back from the land of confusion so many of us are wandering around in. The word study has taken on a whole new meaning for me entirely. Out of 50 studies I read I am lucky to come across 2 that seem to hold some real information that helps the cause one way or another. My faith in the word study alone has drastically diminished over time in regard to the science of autism. I am no educated scientist but often I read an article and I can’t figure out if an educated scientist actually conducted the study in the first place.

                Here is the study I am waiting for and it is not based on 100 kids from 1991 or a phone call made to people’s homes with questions about autism. It goes something like this; it starts with a phone call to thousands of homes by doctors all over the country. It’s a phone call to notify thousands of families a study is being conducted on autism beginning today vaccinated or not. It gives people the option to have genetic testing done to rule in or rule out any other differences that may have conflicted with vaccines or any other environmental conflict. It is now going to be part of the autism program for those who would like to participate because 1 in 88 or 1 in 50 need answers to the constant debates that tear the cause apart. The person on the phone will say “we have the science to begin this study because we have a giant list of possibilities, and what we need is current testing on the structure of how the autistic immune system works. We are going to check for toxic levels of whatever might be affecting your child, if any because we have the science to do it. If you would like to participate please make an appointment now, today with thousands of other families.”

                This will never happen and there are a couple of reasons why, number one it would cost millions of not billions of dollars to do. Number two it would answer to many questions and end too many debates with current scientific information that would make a whole lot of people very very mad. What would happen if this was done and it was discovered people have been affected by autism because of human error? How would they tell people that without providing lifelong care or compensation? How would they say to someone, “we missed something in your child’s body that is different and if we had tested for this early on, things may have been different for your child.” They can’t do this because no matter what, someone would have to be held accountable and no one on earth would ever be willing to take that kind of accountability.

                Next time this debate rises in front of you no matter what side of the debate you may be on, try to keep in mind studies show has become a statement with no backbone. If someone says my child was born with autism then they were. If they say my child faded after a big dose of vaccines then they did. Until we all get that phone call with the option to find out, which I can imagine would still give all of us different answers be kind and care about each struggle. Give support to each other and respect different opinions because that is a difference we all need to instill in ourselves for each other.

Awareness, acceptance, and action. One doesn't mean a damn thing without the others.

               Autism awareness, acceptance, and action are three things that come up a lot and can spark some debate. This debate is always odd to me because some people feel very strongly about one or the other when we should all feel very strongly about all three.

                Autism awareness is strong and has become even stronger since I began writing this blog back in July of 2012. Everyone has heard the word autism in one way or another and we always run into people who know someone affected or is affected themselves. Its autism awareness month and the blue lights are all over the world. Seems awareness is all over the place and can’t be ignored right? No, not right because if my child is on the ground at the grocery store screaming, which doesn’t always happen but it happens, the people walking by are first looking at him and then they shift a dirty look to me. One woman last week said to me as she walked by, “aren’t you going to pick him up?” because I was standing next to him waiting for him to calm a bit before I touched him. I ignored her and didn’t respond by saying he is autistic because I don’t want my son to hear me explain to every person walking by this is the contributing factor. I was there for milk and it was a much bigger event than I anticipated, her comment was not welcome. I could have used the opportunity to make her autism aware but at same time my child was in crisis and getting him through was my goal. If I was that woman I would have been aware autism could have been a factor simply because I am involved in awareness. I also know because autism is so prevalent that woman may not get through life without being affected or becoming aware at some point.

                Autism acceptance is necessary because it is so prevalent. There is no way to become non autistic and you can’t parent a child out of it, you can’t medically treat a child out of it, and you can’t ignore the fact things need to be handled differently. Parenting is different with autism and medical care is different in regard to how a doctor chooses to approach a child with autism. Education has to be approached completely different and if all these differences are accepted the life of someone with autism drastically better. Before you can truly make a difference you have to accept everything is going to be different and being different is ok. A person might even have to erase everything they thought they knew about raising a child and start from scratch learning from autism as you go. It is an entirely different process and accepting that helps the process move along. If the women in the grocery store were autism aware she would have accepted the fact I was actually doing exactly what my child needed me to do because I can’t force him to not be autistic. If she would have stuck around 30 more seconds she would have seen him get up and keep moving.

                Action is a big one and every person wants to see this happen no matter what. Resources are not at best and for some almost impossible to find close to home. Again medical providers don’t always seem to understand along with being lost in regard to some physical issues. No one knows for sure what the direct cause is or how many causes there are. Lack of awareness and lack of acceptance is creating some very unpleasant situations for kids with autism and often the action towards autism is heartbreaking. Insurance companies are denying care to some families because of all of the unknowns. There is one thing now that is always mentioned in cause articles and that is the word environmental. Nearly every article I come across has that word tossed in no matter what the main topic is; even genetic inheritance seems to now hint at environment trigger. So yes, if that is the case and lately it seems to truly be, action is extremely important. Medical action, research action, action towards care and the future of people affected. We need schools, health care, and society in general to be aware, accept, and act accordingly.

                Yet every time I get online I see comments like this “we don’t need awareness, we need acceptance!”  Or “We don’t need acceptance, we need action!” What autism really needs is all three because they go hand in hand and make a world of difference. Get aware, be accepting, and demand action because one doesn’t mean a damn thing without the others to follow.

Studies suggest...implies a possibility, not fact.

               Vaccines, that dirty word that causes people to erupt in anger. The moment it is thrown out there people flock to argue and my blog from yesterday begins. The feeling of no one listening sets in for some and words like ignorant, uneducated, and evidence get thrown around. Court is a word that comes into play because most people believe if a court claims it, then it must be true. If you have been in a court room you know you can’t put 100% reliability in a court decision. Doesn’t mean a court of law is wrong either, it’s just a risky way to always base an opinion. It simply means the evidence submitted suggests the outcome.

                If you read my babble you know that I believe vaccines affected my son but the debate is tiring and I try not to get involved in one. I do read them so I can see all of the theories people stand strong to.  You see when I read a long debate from autism parents about cause I tend to think every argument is correct. Meaning genetics, environmental, and the body’s inability to process vaccines. I think all of those argument are 100% correct but so many won’t listen to each other because they want the answer to be one or another.  What if it’s not one or the other? What if all of it is in fact connected and we are too hung up on picking one.

                A simple break down of what I am getting at would be, maybe my son has the genes for autism. Maybe environmental exposure, whatever it may be, caused his immune system to be different. What if the load of vaccines he was given was just too much for his system and I would include the newborn vaccine as well in that. I can only speak from what I see in our situation but all over the place we have kids with autism who aren’t vaccinated. Yes, unvaccinated autism or diagnosed before vaccines were given does really exist which many people don’t understand. Or families who clearly have a strong genetic link to autism and any vaccine info becomes irrelevant, but you will still find people who push it on those families regardless. How frustrating for them by the way! Can’t even possibly apply to them and they still get it thrown in their direction, typically with the word ignorant attached.

                When someone tells me what they think led to autism in their child, no matter what the theory may be I believe them no matter how different the theory is. When someone demands proof to a theory it baffles me because there is no solid proof to any theory. However if we dig long enough we could put interesting information to all of it. We can find suggestive studies that apply to every cause we hear about. If someone wants to find a study in relation to what they believe, the will find it just as easily as they will find a study to disprove it.

                Studies suggest are words used to imply a possibility not fact or 100% proof no matter what the subject is. When the words ignorant or uneducated get thrown around I think some ways we are all on that ride together because studies suggest no one knows the cause of autism. We can only apply what we know from our own experience and each experience is different. People need to respect each experience and at least listen with care.

               

The evolution of an autism mom.

              We are coming up on a year since our son was diagnosed with Autism. I can think back to even before that day to so many ways I have evolved as a parent, person, and even my opinions and get a little overwhelmed myself to all the changes. I began to learn about autism shortly after my son regressed with that dang vaccine pile up he received even though it was never something mentioned. I learned so much I knew nothing about and started awareness before he was diagnosed. Maybe because I saw it coming and because I was blown away by how clueless I was and the struggles people face.

                At first I felt I was raising awareness for others just because I cared or at least that’s what I told myself while my son stopped talking and interacting. This was my not us faze of the evolution and I was still trying to convince myself he was going to just snap out of it like everyone was telling me. I could see it and I knew it after, all why would I spend hours researching autism if a part of me didn’t know the truth. I like to think I am a good person but lack of sleep and anxiety wasn’t something I would have invited into my life if I didn’t know I would be affected.

                Then came reality and knowing this was not just going away. The reality of taking him to the doctor and bursting into tears when someone else finally said the word autism to me. I had been carrying that word around in my mind for months and it was now out in the open. That was when life kicked me in the gut hard enough to get my full attention. Yet even then we held off on getting him diagnosed and looking back I have no idea why we still tried to deny it. Just a little more time is all he needs was the thought and what a silly one because really we where wasting time hoping it would do us a favor. This was the Us but Not Yet stage of the evolution.

                Jump forward to the diagnosis and we are now in the, ok it’s happened to use stage. All the paperwork and new faces along with therapists put us in the mind set we had an army of help for our son. Big sigh of relief that all these wonderful people were going to help us move forward right? Not exactly because in all of that I was slowly starting to question these people and if they really knew what they were doing. The day came our always hours late advocate came over with visual aids and a special education timer. That was also the day I explained to him I was locked out of a speech therapy room only to be met with a nice inspirational talk about how I am mourning my son. How I bought a ticket for Paris and landed in Holland which is nice but not as nice. That was the evolution of a mad mom. The day I got angry and wanted to ask why in hell he thinks I am not in Paris because I didn’t agree. What I heard from that story was, you are disappointed in your child and that literally pissed me off.

                Now we are in the nothing caused his autism, he was just born different stage and although I know now that may not be completely true or have accepted it, at the time I was desperate to hang on to that theory. Maybe because it’s a comfortable one and it took any blame off of me for possibly doing something that pulled the trigger. We are in Paris and the rest of you are in Holland missing all the awesome sites was how I felt and still do to this day. That is one part of the evolution that has not changed and never will. I was trying to convince myself his difference was purely genetic even though there was no evidence of any autism genetics to convince me of that. I even grew a little upset with other people when they would mention causes or vaccines to me. That part is kind of interesting because when someone mentioned vaccines to me I never spoke of the 6 he received that day but the image of it happening always flashed into my mind. Denial at its finest is what I was going through but not complete denial or I would have mentioned that day with pride.

                I then moved on to the wait just a dang minute faze of the evolution. No autism history and although the two smart people get together and create autism theory was a nice one, it was such an ignorant theory I couldn’t settle. We are now in the research like a crazy person and discovery stage. I think looking back I hated this one the most simply because I discovered so many things that are potential dangers to our children and us in nearly everything we eat, touch, and breathe. I also discovered just how entirely ignorant I was even if none of those things had anything to do with autism. I started to think deeper about the rate of autism growing so quickly and how that could possibly be happening so fast to so many. The theories I was told were once again comfortable to hear like doctors being more aware or simple genetics.

                Question everything phase and question it carefully until I felt I understood. More aware doctors didn’t fly because autism isn’t something you can miss. A non verbal child that won’t allow touch or eye contact is a hard thing to overlook. If that’s the case and it was always around with doctors overlooking it then what happened to all the autistics from the past who never received any help? Did 1 in 88 just grow up and be fine without all the necessary treatments we are told an autistic can’t live without? Where did they all go to if that’s the case? If it is simple genetics or not so simple, why are so many of us carrying these genetics and where did they come? Genetics is a hard thing to accept when there is zero genetic history on either side of the gene pool. Genetics are clearly involved but where are the genes coming from?

                On to the there is no answers and it’s time to move on from it all stage. This is when I just knew the answers weren’t going to come in this lifetime and accepted we would never find it no matter how autism came along. The evolution of knowing all the answers to anything I question are right in front of me and as a mother I can with confidence say he will be just fine and I am doing an awesome job at making sure of that. I don’t read articles like I used to looking for clues but now it’s just with interest. I don’t deny the vaccines may have collided with his body in a bad way but I also don’t think vaccines are a bad thing. I don’t think my son’s autism is purely genetic but at the same I know genetics are involved. I won’t stop awareness because we know the numbers are going up and all these kiddos need good programs and good recourses right along with understanding. I m grateful for the evolution over the past year because no one likes to be ignorant, especially me.

                What I am most grateful for is my son, my family, and that all those people who felt we had landed in Holland instead of Paris didn’t get on the same plane we did. Paris is one of the most interesting places to be and I can imagine Holland is a bit disappointing for those who missed our trip to Paris. There is something new and amazing around every corner. Maybe Paris isn’t what we expected but that’s simply because we skipped the typical tour routes most people take and hit our adventure without a map. Maps are created for those who want to follow, not lead and Phillip is leading me everywhere we need to go to get the most out of our adventure.

               

If autism is a genetic mutation...how and why is that effecting so many people?

                I logged in this morning and looked for some new autism articles and I found the same old information that continues to repeat itself. Genetic mutations and another long list of possible triggers, which I feel like I have read a million times before. Then you have the articles about the safety of the vaccine schedule tossed in to add to the information piled up happening in your mind. That is when I decide even looking it up was a waste of time.

                Here is what is comes to mind each time I look up new autism articles. Ok, so we have genetic mutations but I have not read one time what may be causing such a drastic change in genetics across the world. Actually I don’t think I have even read a mention of why or how this is happening and that seems odd to me. People will say the diagnosis is easier now so the numbers have risen but if you take a good look at the numbers and how fast they have gone up that just doesn’t make sense. Twenty years ago autism was 1 in 10,000 and now we are at 1 in 54. A small amount of that could be related to more understanding but there is just no way that increase is simply because doctors are more aware of how to diagnose autism.

                Yesterday I drove by my kid’s school just before school was getting out. The Special needs buses line up first to pick up the kids and there were six buses in a school of around 600 kids. Six special needs buses? I don’t know about you but that seems like a very high number and no not all of those kids are autistic but regardless they are disabled in some form. I do not remember, and maybe my memory is distorted from being an unaware teenager, a special needs program being so large 20 years ago when I was in Junior high school. In fact I recall a very small number of disabled kids in my school. I can look around in society and see unhealthy people everywhere. Not just disabled but physically don’t look healthy. Lately I have noticed the elderly appear to be healthier then our younger generations. My 90 year old grandfather has a better glow than many of the young people I see and let me tell you his mind is healthier than the majority of the people in society as well.

                Yes I would say our genetics are changing, mutating, and whatever else science has claimed is happening but why are these genetics mutating? Why are families with no genetic history of autism or other disabilities having children or more than one child with a genetic disorder? If the odds of having a child with autism are 1 in 54 than the odds of me or dad having that genetic mutation as they call it seem to be incredibly high as well.

                Maybe I sat on my couch during pregnancy and the flame retardant that seeped into the air pulled the trigger. Maybe I got a fever during pregnancy and autism began. Maybe I got to close to the linoleum in my kitchen and autism hit. Or my favorite article of all time, Fat moms, a tasteless and clear view of how ignorant man can be in the title alone. We can put all of these causes and triggers that parents are blamed for in a pile that would be taller than Mount Kilimanjaro and still the science gods of our time cannot tell us why genetics are being altered….and element of the autism question is the one we should all be asking.

               

Even Science needs a little faith

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-kirby/post2468343_b_2468343.html

http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/researchers-identify-24-more-%E2%80%9Chigh-impact%E2%80%9D-autism-gene-changes

                Couple of articles that caught my eye this morning and one I have already shared on my Facebook page. I am just a stay home mom with a little mystery running around my house but that mystery keeps me thinking, even if I don’t have the energy to think for one more second.

                Just some food for thought today and not everyone agrees with each other when it comes to autism and we all know one case is never the same the same as the next. The vaccine debate is always there and lately seems to be gaining some strength but then we have the Autism Speaks article that clearly states DNA is being modified. It doesn’t state even a hint as to how DNA is being altered but could it be there is a connection in these articles?

                If DNA is changing and many things could be causing that, GMO comes to mind for me, which has been outlawed in many countries but our government is too invested in GMO to allow that here. DNA changes and apparently at an alarming speed, then other parts of the body are altered but we have no knowledge of it. Then we throw some vaccines in play and what we could end up with a body that is confused and fighting back and fighting things it doesn’t recognize. The immune system that is already altered goes into hyper drive and crashes.

                Vaccines can be declared safe because in a typical body that has not been affected by this DNA change or other organ differences the vaccines are safe.  The greater population is going to process things as expected but then you have that piece of the puzzle so to speak that does not react the same way. There is no question autism is on the rise and continues to be on the rise. Some say it’s a better understanding in the medical community but as a parent of autism and knowing the difference first hand, that doesn’t fly so much with me. If you live with autism you know it’s unmistakable.

                I think one day the connection between modified DNA, organ structure, and the way a vaccine is processed is all going to come to light. Of course it will take someone brave enough to study the connections, prove it, and challenge the powers that be. Until then school yourself on these elements that really do effect all of us in the long run if not right now.  When you are bombarded with autism cause, even if you don’t want to be, it soaks in and you want to know more. I have heard some of the most ridiculous things from people about autism and I was once even told two smart people are the genetic trigger. One that to this day makes me laugh but there is no doubt a science to autism that hasn’t been figure out yet.

                My son will get through life just fine and he will have challenges but I read so many stories of children who are not fine and their challenges are debilitating for families. We hear all the time that saying “until all the pieces fit” and maybe those pieces aren’t all in the same place. Science has the power to find them and put them together and I pray for that to happen one day because even science needs a little faith to find answers to a mystery.

               

The hurricane of autism video

We don't 100% know what's safe, but science can grow us an ear?

                That dang vaccine debate crept up on me this morning and if you have autism in your life this is a topic you can almost never avoid. I personally am on the fence of the debate watching people get mad at each other from both sides and the interesting part is both sides are right.

                On the one hand you have the vaccine this people with a big middle finger up and on the other hand you have the vaccine or die people with another middle finger up. Are either of them wrong for feeling the way they do? No, not at all. To many vaccines to fast could have a highly toxic effect on a complicated immune system and the CDC has stated they do this to simply make sure children get the vaccines. Then again not vaccinating realistically could carry the risk of potentially deadly disease, so either way there is risk.

                The problem is not necessarily to vaccinate or not to vaccinate. The problem is conflicting, lack of, or incorrect information. One day we hear mercury has been taken out of vaccines and a year or two later we discover that wasn’t exactly true. We turn on the news and the media has reported deaths from influenza or H1N1 so if you are pregnant you must go directly to the local clinic and get vaccinated or your unborn child could die. We do it because we are afraid but then we see reports of high mercury levels in that first round of vaccines. It’s fixed now but back then it slipped by the CDC…oops.

                I will never forget the day I went to the clinic to get my Swine flu vaccine. I was 7 months pregnant and some of you are actually already gasping at that sentence. I received a call from the county nurse telling me they received enough vaccines that day for the elderly and pregnant women, who we were told were highest risk. That we all know was a true statement. I hurried down and while I sitting in the lobby another woman was sitting across from me also 7 months pregnant. This women and I started chatting and she asked me if I was there to get my Swine flu vaccine. I said yes and she looked me dead in the eye and said to me…”You’re crazy, no way would I do that right now”

                I had no idea why she said it at the time but now boy do I understand her comment and then some. Now that my son is three and has autism, which has forced me to gain more knowledge then I ever knew I would have, would I tell a woman who is 7 months pregnant to go get a flu vaccine, Swine Flu vaccine, H1N1 vaccine, or take Tami flu? The answer is no I sure would not. I am not a medical professional and don’t know a whole lot but I do know the unknowns and open ends are frightening for a parent. I actually ended up with the flu anyway while pregnant right along with high fever and to boot gestational diabetes. All of which science has tried to point to in regard to autism. So I can’t say the vaccine did anything dangerous to my child because I don’t know.

                We need to fix these unknowns! We have science that can grow a human ear on the backside of a mouse but we can’t lock down answers we need. We can get online and find hundreds of articles saying a vaccine is dangerous and then we can find hundreds that say they are not. All of which seem to hold some truth but no firm clarity. Science can create a virus that hits our population like a freight train, Swine flu man made by the way, but can’t seem to treat it in a way we feel 100% confident in.

                The point to my blog today is no matter who holds what opinion always try to remember everyone holds a bit of wrong and everyone holds a bit of right. Hopefully someday science can give us that clarity we all need and until then we know we can always get an extra ear if we need it!

The divison of autism parents....and the impact.

                The division between parents when it comes to autism always seems to push itself to surface from time to time. The division I am talking about is the different opinions that stem from different experiences with having autism tossed into life. When Phillip was diagnosed I guess I was silly thinking all of us autism parents would be united and stand for the cause together like a big band of brave acceptance warriors. It is a bit like that in some ways but in many ways it’s not.

                Autism is such a different experience for everyone that it can even be difficult to find just a few other people who share your opinions or close to them. I have ran into nearly every kind of autism parent there is, I think and I am almost reluctant to say that because we have a long way to go on this journey.  What do I mean by every kind of autism parent there is? You will find the parents who see autism is a gift, as a curse, as a disorder, as a neurological difference, as a vaccine induced disease, as an evolutionary impact, and sometimes you find the parent who just doesn’t know and deals with whatever comes their way.  My favorite people aren’t parents at all, but people who will actually flat out tell you how your child became autistic. Those people don’t really have a place in this blog but mentioning them makes me laugh so I had to throw it in.

                I have tried to stay away from this topic but every time I see these parents collide I feel a bit of pain for autism, no matter how it became a factor in life. We all want our children to be understood but even then I can say we don’t always understand our own children so we fight to get society to on board and fight to explain why at the same time. The emotions of autism are draining at times but well worth it. There have been times I have wanted to change the title of my blog to The Evolution of an Autism Mommy just because my opinions and feelings change so often. It is a roller coaster to say the least.

                With that being said I know society and the people we interact with, by nature are not drawn towards learning about something so confusing. I would even think many people are just afraid of it in general from the things they read or even from a screaming child they might have encountered in line at the grocery store. If that screaming child possibly hitting mom or dad is the only autism encounter they have had, I wouldn’t expect them to jump into wanting to know more. Now it you take that screaming child who can also memorize an entire Pixar movie in one sitting, and make that child a nephew, grandson, little sister, or best friends youngest then you have someone who is willing to want to learn more. A direct impact will do that to a person so in all the autism division I worry. I worry that parents unknowingly push people away from the desire to know more.

                Autistic kids generally don’t see how their autism impacts others unless we show them. They also don’t see how it will impact their own life unless we show them. In all the division and different opinions I want to shout…”Stop the madness!” I want to shout it as a parent who needs other parents and I want to shout it for all of the nonverbal people living with autism. They want success and as much independence as possible in life or maybe they just want to get through the day with a smile from a stranger because they don’t see one often enough. Either way the quickest way to help both of those things happen, or hope for that to happen is to stop the madness and focus on what truly matters to each and every autism parent you will ever come in contact with….the impact. The impact of autism, the impact of a parent, the impact of our children, and the one we all really need to move to the top shelf….the impact ON our children.

No labels for GMO? Are you kidding me?

              Well the election is over and last night was spent on the edge of my seat waiting like most of America. I was disappointed Obama was given four more years but another issue weighed on me like a 600lb man, literally

               Proposition 37, which was a bill in California the whole country should have been voting on to label GMO food and it was shot down. A label, just a little notification to Americans the food they are about to consume has unknown consequences. When I discovered this was voted against I was completely shocked as this was an American choice. I had to wonder if people know what GMO is. Or what I really wanted to now was why on earth people would not want to be informed. Are we so secure in out of site out of mind we actually don’t want to know?

                GMO’s have been in nearly everything we eat for ten years mostly unknown to the greater population but becoming more understood. This is what I know personally from my own life that makes me so passionate about the cause. I have two older kids both born before GMO was introduced to our systems. My older children do not have autism and yes they have received all of their vaccinations to date. During that ten years my thyroid stopped working which at one time I healed by adding algae to my diet. When I stopped my thyroid also stopped. GERD was introduced to me and I had to medicate to repair possible holes developing in my stomach lining. Then I discovered I was pre-diabetic and had to limit my sugar intake on top of avoiding acidic foods. Now we have Gastric Reflux, hypothyroidism, and pre-diabetes at 29 years old and 115lbs.

                During my pregnancy with Phillip I had to keep track of my pre-diabetes to make sure we did not go into full on diabetes. I was able to manage that without any kind of intervention from the doctor and then I have a healthy 7.7lb baby boy. I breast feed him like all three of my kids to give him the healthiest start in life I can. He cries a lot but not colic. He hates loud noises, being held by anyone but mom or dad, and seems to already take comfort in a system as an infant. He is vaccinated and at 16 months he begins to fade. At two I realize my son has autism and begin endless nights of research.

                If you are wondering if I am targeting vaccines I am not. Although if his system was compromised in a way we can’t see on the outside, yes I do believe vaccines would not have been allowed to flow through him properly. Around this time I am fighting allergies. A new fight I have never experienced in my life. Allergies at 33 years old and no doctor can pin point what I am allergic to. We ensure nothing in the house could be the cause. Get rid of a bird, bleach the hell out of everything, and I vacuum every day in case it’s the dog. Although I have been around dogs my whole life so I had doubts it was her at all. When you’re sick with no answer you will blame everything.

                Today I have an autistic child who just had an allergic reaction to the only antibiotic he has ever taken. He needs a probiotic to have a bowel system that works properly and an algae supplement seems to giving him some ease neurologically. I take an allergy pill every day of the year and I have no idea why. All I know is I can’t function if I don’t have relief from whatever allergy I have. All of these things pull my brain towards GMO. Only two countries do not require a label and that would be America and Canada. Some countries have demanded a label or have flat out said no to GMO without a vote by their citizens even required because common sense and consequences stepped in before a vote was ever needed.

                I have no understanding of why in the state of California, where the doors for same sex marriage were opened, a label to give us a choice was turned down. Are we so selfish in our out of site out of mind culture we are willing to gamble with our own lives and our children’s lives? We will legalize marijuana, we will fight for same sex marriage, we want free health care and we will hold on to a failing economy. We will complain about our health and the effects are right in front of us in society every day but we don’t want to know what is in our food? That is devastating insight into the priorities of way to many Americans. That alone will keep you from sleeping sound at night.

 

Hypersensitive immune system and autism and we are 3 today!

http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/study-finds-children-autism-have-more-active-adaptive-immune-system

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/vis/downloads/vis-multi.pdf

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2898160/

              Today is Phillips third birthday and we will be spending it trying to gain our strength back from two days of an antibiotic his little body didn’t like. I have learned so much in the past three years and even now I wake up every day with a new lesson coming my way.  I can’t avoid it, he won’t let me and I say that with gratitude and humor at the same time. We aren’t doing anything today but resting and waiting to have a party for him when dad comes home in a week. I can’t let the day go by with nothing so he does have some presents and the old inflatable birthday cake I have used for everyone for years is up and running in the living room.

                I was up last night until 3am researching things I hadn’t come across yet on this autism journey. It seems just when my mind is completely made up in regard to the difference something jumps up and tells me to read more, because I am missing something. I have always stuck very close to my genetic difference idea and even after hours of reading last night I still believe in the genetics of autism. Even when it comes to genetics we do know carrying a gene for something doesn’t always mean it’s going to be an active one. Then I begin to think about what pulled the trigger as you will hear so many scientists say. I haven’t been a huge fan of Autism Speaks because of all the money raised for research and very little being put into resource but being humbled is an important lesson in life we all need to embrace from time to time.

                My son’s immune system is exceptional and rarely is he affected by sickness or any physical problems that could be associated with autism. It has all been neurological to this point which convinced me this is just a genetic difference. This weekend when he was given his first antibiotic ever for a bladder infection he actually did not have I was paying attention. His reaction to the antibiotic was a difficult one from throwing up, fever, chills, swollen lips, swollen throat, and what appeared to be pain in his stomach. The reaction began on the morning of day three and he had taken only two days of this medicine. Why is it a child with an impeccable immune system would be affected so horribly? A foreign substance in his body that kicked his immune system into overdrive and overdrive is what causes the body to go to war with what it doesn’t recognize. A hypersensitive immune reaction and the first time I have witnessed this happen to him, I think.

                We focus so much on genetics and vaccines or at least the general public does, I am now leaning towards genetics and a hypersensitive immune system which also would involve how his body can or can’t process a vaccine. Not one certain vaccine like so many people blame, but all of them. The vaccine process begins at birth and during the first two years of life we are given a strict timeline to get them. For good reason and I would never say not to get vaccines because it is needed to a certain point. Here is where my mind has evolved to in the last couple of days and researching until three am last night. If a child carries the autism gene and is born with a hypersensitive immune system the process of his body going to war with foreign antibodies could begin from day one. Each time receiving a vaccine could certainly have an effect. This would not be vaccines causing autism; this would be autism losing a battle with the process of vaccines. Or for that matter any foreign substance the immune system goes into overdrive to get rid of. If the medical community could find a safe way to test an immune system from birth before giving anything that may kick it in to overdrive, could it possibly keep the safety on that autism trigger?

                Once again this journey has made me change direction in my thinking but not one way or the other, just a new road that seems to make the most sense to me. In fact I am surprised my children didn’t wake up to papers spread all over the house with crazy random facts written all over the walls this morning from my intense desire to learn more last night and having the evidence sleeping peacefully in bed. As much I enjoy being humbled, I really don’t like changing my mind unless I feel 99% confident in why. When it comes to autism 99% percent confidence is kind of a funny statement to me no matter how much I research.  One thing autism has taught me is that I will change my mind to many times to count and I have to be able to accept it.

                At this very moment I have an adorable birthday boy sitting next me with a sour look on his face. He has managed one piece of toast and three big swigs of water to begin what may turn into a birthday to remember. No matter how much I learn, change my mind, and research he still just needs his mama to tell him it’s all going to be ok. I don’t know about you but even I need that to this day in my adult life and the journey continues.

 

Yes...Autism in the Amish! So why don't we know much about it?

              http://autism.about.com/b/2008/04/23/do-the-amish-vaccinate-indeed-they-do-and-their-autism-rates-may-be-lower.htm    

 

                 Above is a link to a very interesting article related to autism and the Amish community. You see a while back I wrote a blog about no autism in the Amish but since writing that blog I have had a little  voice in the back of my mind asking, what if that is not really true? I have even stopped into an Amish market and if it wasn’t so busy that day I would have asked to speak to someone on this topic. Looking back I wish I had.  What if the lifestyle they live just prevents us from really knowing very much about autism in the Amish? Yes, you can say I am going against my own blog on this one because I need to. Not necessarily going against it because my past blog was based on diet and that is important but my title was No Autism in the Amish and that may not be true.

                After reading the article above and a few others I started to think about the lifestyle of the Amish and how the simple fact of how they live could very well be a productive way for a child with autism to grow up making progress every day. It’s safe to say they are much more accepting of each others as they don’t have to keep up with social expectations most of us do. They have their own and largely based on working together and working hard. Could the constant process of daily routine and large support systems help autism to adjust? I think the answer to that is pretty clear if you have been closely involved with autism. Temple Grandin is known to say “Autism must stay engaged.” And although I have never spent time in an Amish community we know they stay engaged to keep things running. The children are expected to participate in running the community and they typically don’t attend public school. A routine of one on one learning in the same environment as they grow.

                I have also learned and you will see this in the article above, they do in fact vaccinate. Could it be rates of autism in the Amish are lower because they aren’t screened for it at the first sign of late talking or maybe a child that appears to have serious nature is acceptable so no need to run to a doctor for help? I also wonder if years ago when only severe cases of autism were reported if this was the same way of the world so to speak.

                Years ago families worked together at all things throughout the day. They sustained each other and young kids were expected to work what we might consider hard.  They instilled a constant routine as they grew up and many times the routine was in fact based on work and learning to go out into the world being able to continue on with the same family standards. That’s not saying kids aren’t still raised the same way but we can’t deny these same values are dwindling in our modern times. It could be during those times a late talker was ok and a child who wasn’t always silly or social was also accepted as long as they engaged in the family routine. Maybe that led to a way for an autistic to make progress by the firm ground they were living on. Accepted for their difference but also expected to keep up regardless.

                My grandparents wrote each other nearly every day during the 40’s and many of those letters get me thinking about the difference between then and now. The letters are serious in nature for the most part. There is a pride in accomplishments and pride in family and almost no, what my grandma would have called, funny business. Another point in the letters that really gets me thinking is a pictures they exchanged and how neither one of them knew how to fake a smile for pictures. Typically in those times a smile wasn’t faked for a photo so autism would have blended in nicely.

                During those times it could be a child who worked hard at one thing was totally acceptable. Not having a silly nature would have been appreciated to a point.  Not smiling on command was normal and a child with an ability to take apart a toy instead of playing with it may have been appreciated in regard to a work ethic. What we call meltdowns may have been handled the same way each time creating a constant routine to ease them. Being socially acceptable was not as important as being successful.  Success would have sustained the family. I am considering all these things in regard to mild autism of course but still points to consider when we look at the big picture of how society affects us as a whole.

                Yes, we may be overlooking autism in the Amish and yes it may be there but I would never argue the fact that we could learn a lot from that lifestyle difference and how quickly we jump to have children diagnosed with disorders. Yes Disorders are real and 20% of our children in this country have been diagnosed with some kind of mental health challenge but we shouldn't be so quick to assume Amish are not effected. What we should be quick to do is learn the differences in there community or remember might be a better word.

I must see these little autistic mice!

                 Every day I log on to facebook and there is a tidal wave of autism information rolling in. Inspiration, personal stories, new articles on causes, and ways to raise awareness.  Of course I am connected to all these things by choice so I asked for that tidal wave and it keeps me informed. I like to know the opinions out there and read different perspectives.

                What I see in a lot of the articles I come across is a very negative tone towards autism. Speculation as to why some kids have it, how its growing so quickly in society and it sets a ridiculous tone that autistics are mutants. Really no other way I can think of to describe some of these things I come across. When I am done reading some of them I feel like the mother of the Wolverine from X-men trying to protect him from a world full of fear trying to cure him. Yes, you will see autism described as a genetic mutation all the time and to me it sets a nasty tone. I prefer the words genetic evolution myself because it takes the mutant label off my child. I especially find the articles with mice involved entertaining because an autistic mouse would be something to see!

                I am ADD, a neurological difference, which is how I see autism as well but I have never heard anyone say ADD is a mutation. If it is then I guess I am the mother mutant and my child would be second generation mutant.  It is exhausting, every word of it, and ridiculous in so many ways.

                Seems to me society has decided if they can’t understand it they must find a way to correct it even if understanding would be a much easier process. The millions if not billions of dollars spent to fix people couldn’t possibly benefit them in a educational environment or educating adults to work with autism because we all know there is a desperate need for that. I haven’t communicated with any autistic adults who are sitting around waiting to be cured and children don’t understand the world doesn’t understand them…yet. Autism is constantly quoted right alongside schizophrenia which is a very old and worn out connection that has actually been tossed out as a connection at all. A mistake from way back in history is how that all came about, and fueled by a lack of understanding.

                Here is my plea to all the writers and researchers involved in autism. Leave schizophrenia out of it unless you are discussing the misunderstood history of the difference. Please keep in mind when you write you may have an autistic audience and protective parents reading your words. Make sure your words are directed in a positive way because some folks won’t settle for less. If you could kindly leave rodents out of the matter or even better, please clarify what an autistic rodent is like that would also be appreciated, because every time I read an article like that I am intrigued by these little autistic mice.  For the love of God can we please go easy on the mutation talk unless that is in fact 100% what autism has proven to be and it hasn’t. Last but not least for writers and readers, please remember there are people who are not angry about having autism. Adults and children who want to be treated with respect and some of these articles really do cause harm to how the difference is depicted in society.  

                At this point I think many people are so run down from “suggested” studies, lack of information, false information, and reach up and pull it out of your backside theories we or I am getting slightly fed up with acceptance and understanding being overlooked. The entire reason I began this blog was so my son would not be looked at as flawed or in need of fixing and I will not stop. Maybe one day in our adventure I will get to see these little autistic mice and then I will have seen it all.

Wal-Mart cares....I am sure of it!

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/wal-mart-to-sell-monsanto-gmo-corn-this-summer.html

                Here is a link to some info we all need to be aware of. No surprise Wal-Mart will be selling GMO’s and completely expected. I am posting this article number one because people need to be informed on every level. Number two to get you thinking!

                If you don’t understand what this GMO corn is, the simple break down is the pesticide is genetically part of the food. You can’t avoid it and the effects on your body are completely unknown. We know pesticides cause many serious problems but now it's in the form of DNA, not just a crop dusting. It is known what It does to insects which is destroying them from the inside out, but to people is a mystery so far. Although I am sure the affects will be known in time. I suppose we could assume we are above the laws of nature and we are immune to any destruction from the inside out intent behind the GMOs but that is a pretty risky way to think.

                Interesting thing to me is Wal-Mart started selling Autism Speaks office and school supplies just a short time ago. Much of the proceeds go towards research and I am sure much of those proceeds go into a fat cats pocket or they wouldn’t have agreed to do it. Some people seemed excited to see autism awareness products for sale on the shelves and some weren’t so sure it was a positive thing in regard to autism. Popular opinion seemed to be many people were glad Wal-Mart was stepping in to raise awareness but is that really what they were aiming for? My personal opinion is no because anything they place on the shelves has to have a profit involved and a large profit.

                This is what I want you to think about. We all know there is no direct cause or answer to autism and if your mind works anything like mine you have decided with all of the info being thrown around there is many causes. Including the simple fact it is genetic and that’s the way it goes. So why on earth would a large corporation who appears to care about the cause of autism awareness also decide to sell genetically modified food knowing the affects are unknown? The answer is simple….they don’t care. They could even sell the product and take it upon themselves to label it but why would they sabotage their own sales by making sure everyone is aware. Wal-Mart also is known to sell cancer awareness products but there is a large profit margin on that to.

                Before you get thrilled about awareness products or think GMO’s wouldn’t be sold if they were unsafe, think at the level of why it’s being sold to us. The big picture is they don’t care about autism, cancer or what GMO’s will do to us because we are all numbers and profit to them.  The bottom line is YOU are profit unless you chose not to be. You and your children are people who deserve to be treated accordingly. Don’t settle for anything less or less is exactly what you will get.