Should be fired on the spot, just for talking.

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Parents-angry-over-school-districts-isolation-booth-181308621.html?tab=video&c=y

                 I posted the story above on my face book page yesterday but last night when I was up late watching the news this segment came on. I have to say as a parent of an autistic child after the segment aired it wasn’t the padded room that had me fuming anymore. Ok, well a little but the things I heard coming out of the women’s mouth in the interview were so much worse to me.

                Couple of things grabbed me and for a moment I wanted to throw my TV outside and give up on society completely. They mention in the segment this room is intended for children with an IEP. The IEP is instilled when a child has special needs, in my mind this means not main stream education and that’s that. Individual Education Plan and I have to wonder what kind of padded room has anything to do with a room only a prison would use for inmates. What does a padded room have to do with education? Nothing, unless the educators have no idea what to do. If that is the case my son, who is not main stream, would never have his name on this IEP. I would hope all parents are carefully reading and considering this. If you don’t have a padded room at home, you don’t need one at school.

                Then we have this little dandy from the district spokeswoman who should be fired on the spot just for talking. “District spokesperson Sandy Catt defended the practice, but admitted the district launched an investigation after receiving allegations from another parent Wednesday.

"It is not for discipline for regular education students," Catt said.”

“Regular” education students…..that is what a person in authority and control over IEP’s has said publicly to defend a padded room. At this point I was mortified and completely in shock. The comments, the defense of the tactic and after all was said and done I had the feeling no one minded this tactic as long as it wasn’t used on “regular” kids. If little Johnny who is a mainstream child is put in this room then this child was treated like an animal. If little Jimmy who has autism is put in this room, it is part of his Individual Education Plan. Anyone else see the major problem with this?

Special needs does not mean broken, animal like, a problem, or a nuisance. Special needs means and I think we all know this, a different approach and when you look at the way our education system is heading I think it’s safe to say most American children fall into this category.

I am going to end this blog by simply saying Sandy Catt, you clearly are in need of your own Individual Education Plan and you do not understand the meaning of special needs. Maybe you need to lock yourself in your therapeutic padded room for a few hours and see if this helps. May God have mercy on anyone’s soul who closed the door on that room to any child, regular or not.

A very merry autistic Christmas! hopefully

                 Christmas is upon us! Christmas with Phillip has been a very different experience in every way. Typically kids are jumping for joy and can’t wait to open presents, but that is not the case with the little man. We put up the tree last night, the lights and ornaments were amazing to him. Yes, he has witnessed this living room light show before but he has also taken a new interest in The Polar Express so he associated it this year with something he loves. I also made the very wise decision last year of buying plastic bulb ornaments after Christmas for very cheap. Glass no more and for good reason, his little hands must touch and sometimes throw or drop. Glass ornaments have been a Christmas hazard in our home.

                The process of opening presents has never been clearly understood for Phillip. He has finally started to pick up on the fact a new object is inside and I say object because gift is not really what his mind is thinking. We always try to get his attention and root him on to open a present but it ends up being me opening it and until he actually sees what is in it, no interest. The struggle after that is all that dang packaging companies put on toys and between his desire to investigate and the almost impossible packaging removal, we can border on an overload by the time he has it in his hands, or he has moved on and has no interest at all.

                This year I have really put my mind in autism mode to try and make things a bit easier. Easier and autism don’t really go hand in hand but I think sometimes we can actually ease a bit of the chaos by taking just a few things into consideration.

                First, I have really considered the chaos of toys. If you take a good look toys are extremely bright and seems toy companies are on a mission to outdo each other with big, loud, and busy. I want to just get away from some of these toys so I know Phillip has to feel like these toys are hitting his mind like an atomic bomb. Number one change this year was choice of toys. The color needed to be less bold; the sound needed to be quiet or clear and just because the company claims it will educate your child doesn’t mean that is actually what it will do. This website has some awesome sensory friendly toys and the colors are toned way down from your typical toys, http://justb-byou.com/toys/

                Target carries this line of toys and I bought the Symphony B for Phillip this year. It’s busy but not in a too much way, and the sound is extremely clear. Not to mention I have no problem tolerating the sounds of the Symphony while I go about my day.

                Second adjustment for the holiday was less is more. A child who becomes overwhelmed easily should not have a mountain of bold, loud, new things standing in from of them. This will not go well so take it easy on how much. I know Phillip isn’t paying an attention to the amount of things he is getting, and that is an awesome quality. Take advantage of it if you can but not a point of cruelty either because it is Christmas.

                Second thing I considered to ease the holiday is before I wrap his presents I am going to remove the packaging. Anything that prolongs the process of getting his little hands on it is going bye bye. The packaging to a child without autism is a symbol of something new, but to Phillip it is simply a barrier and possible a brick wall that his interest will bounce right off of. I haven’t bought so much that anything will be returned so no worries there.

                Last but not least is taking an intense interest and running with it. Airplanes happens to be Phillips greatest interest so if has an airplane I know he will at least take a look at it because he just can’t resist.

                Basically my advice for the holiday is taking it easy. Over the top is too much, remove barriers if possible, and run with an interest. If you follow those basic guidelines there should be some success of avoiding a bit of the chaos. Most of all just breathe and remember the years pass way too quickly. One day you will be sitting at home waiting for your children to come home for Christmas and all you are going to remember is how little they used to be.

               

Last thing on his mind and first thing on mine.

                It has been a very long couple of days and thank God for cheesecake or I may have felt totally alone by now. Phillip was not drinking his spirulina laced juice for a few days; in fact he wasn’t drinking or eating much at all. So, the after effects of a system change and I assume major life change have begun to kick in. One the move faster than usual, his ears appear to have completely stopped working, habits are coming in full force such as asking for a bath every hour, and total intolerance for any public place have all taken over.  

                It doesn’t help my own stress level has elevated due to certain life issues I need to make a firm decision on but difficult decisions so it sits in my mind and takes up space I need to store more patience in.

                Since moving I have gotten a real taste of how much autism awareness is really out there in the greater population. Let me tell ya, we have a very long way to go before people are aware. Not just aware of what autism is but aware of how to have some kind of social manners towards others who are packing some autism induced behaviors around with them in life.

                Today was a difficult day and unfortunately isn’t nearly close to over yet, but it began with an argument with my daughter about getting her room cleaned. After the incident I realized I was a jerk and even though she knew this and so did I, I was still a jerk. Then I had to go to Target to get a few things and my oldest son decided to come with along with Phillip. I can’t leave him home all the time and every time I take him somewhere I like to think, this is going to be a good outing. More often than not, I am wrong and today that was one of those days. The reason is routine and the one time he has been in Target he wasn’t given time to take it in which led to a meltdown. Routine creates the mindset for him that this is how it will go next time as well. He was given time and plenty of time but still we had to repeat the last visit. He may move away from this with time, but for now Target is his target meltdown zone.

                Here is where the lack of awareness comes in. There was not one person who did not slow down to watch, to observe his behavior, and the looks on the faces where full of disgust. Not so much directed at Phillip but me. I could actually see on their faces the wonder what I was going to do about my out of control child. If autism awareness was strong in society these looks by so many would not be tossed at me so quickly. Now I know if another autism parent were to have walked by I may have gotten a smile or a hang in there, but there was no kindness in sight. I could also clearly see the frustration on my oldest sons face and it wasn’t because of his little brother. I assume it’s from being stared at by strangers in an unpleasant way. Understandable at fourteen years old, especially when he tries to help and just wants his little brother to stop. He would have preferred for me to leave Phillip home but I can’t just keep him out of public places and then assume when we have to go he will be ok either. Leaves you in the hard place of knowing leaving him home isn’t good and yet taking him with us also might not be good.

                In all of the awareness parents are trying raise is it actually getting to the right people? By that I mean to people who really aren’t aware. Or are we spending hours and hours just babbling to each other things we already know. Does it have to take someone actually having an autistic child to learn? No, but what can we do other than what we are already doing to reach people is what comes into my mind. What can I possibly do to raise awareness to a point most of the people walking by might consider autism is literally hitting me in the head out the door. Face book, blogging, and trying to explain the difference is great but it’s not enough.

                I am not going to put a bumper sticker on my car or put a t-shirt on my child that shouts autism, because if I do that no one sees Phillip. They bypass who he is to look for the autism and that is not how I want him to live his life. I want people to bypass autism and look for Phillip because they know and understand enough to do that. Although that is sort of a silly statement after what we just went through at Target because even Phillip couldn’t bypass the autism to look for himself. He is also just three and doesn’t know he has autism. It’s the last thing on his mind when he is throwing himself around on the floor, and the first thing on mine.

Thankful for the way things just come together, when I let it.

                Road trip for the holiday today and the first thought I had this morning was, how will the day progress. I had two thoughts in my head and was just going to keep my mind open and see what happens. We were heading to my brothers house full of people. Phillip had never been to my brothers and a house full of faces can of course become a problem. So he would either adjust fine or right off the bat he would have a meltdown.

                So the journey began and we packed into the minivan on our way to the ferry terminal. Once we arrived at the ferry terminal we discovered a two hour wait to get on the boat. If we waited, on the side of the road we would not make it in time to the feeding frenzy we were all thinking about. This brought the decision to drive, also two hours but without the hour boat ride. All the while I am thinking about if or when Phillip will protest. So far he was perfect and seemed to be happy to be on an adventure. I have noticed since moving when we drive there are so many new things to see each time, he is perfectly content.

                Off we went down the freeway with the hope the traffic would not be so bad our time was wasted no matter what decision we made. Since moving back home I have had a new perspective on life in general and all the things I have missed. The busy life I was always running from is exciting and I am in love with it. From driving through Seattle to a passing DeLorean on the freeway, I just enjoy it like a little kid would. Phillip was in awe as we drove by the airport and did not take his eyes off all this planes on the ground and in the sky.

                At my brothers house he ran right inside and barged his way through the faces onto the couch. Then he was off to explore and take it all in. You could say he did this nearly the entire time we were there and was fantastic. Then the time comes he has in fact taken in all he possibly can and he realizes it. He doesn’t just realize all he has seen and investigated but it pours over him and the overwhelming feeling hits. I would compare this to slowly filling a cup with water. If you just keep pouring the water in, it will spill over the top.

                 This used to take just a short time and thankfully these days it can take a long time but either way, it hits. His first sign of overload is he wants his clothes off and at home this is fine but most of our overloads don’t happen at home. Then it elevates to not wanting to be touched and some people would mistake this for being unfeeling or unloving. For Phillip this really is him saying to me…I am overloaded with feeling and I can’t handle one more, including touch. When the don’t touch me faze begins I know this is it and very soon no one will be able to help him. Once this faze is in effect I know it is time to go. Next time he goes to my brothers it won't all be new so the risk of that pouring over won't be so strong. He will in fact remember all he took in today.

                The evening ended and as we drove past the city lights I was content, full of food, but content. He did better than I could have expected in every way and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed at that point how quickly life changed in the past weeks. Being able to spend the day with some of my family in the place I have always called home was not something I would have predicted in life just a few short years ago. Driving down the road with the people I love, able to touch Phillip again by the way, cruising by Seattle lights on Thanksgiving and home is just s short drive away is exactly how life Is supposed be. At exactly the right time and I know that because life has taught me just exactly that.

                On a day we are supposed to say what we are thankful for I can easily say I am thankful for the twists and turns, the tears, laughs, the surprises, and all those pesky things I have needed to learn even if I had to learn to the hard way. I am thankful I can say goodnight and I love you to my kids every night and know one day Phillip will say it back. On a typical morning the one thing I am thankful for as soon as my eyes open, is that I was given another day to open them. If that is how your day begins, well I would say your day started out pretty dang good. Now all you have to do is live like you really feel just opening your eyes for another day is actually a gift and let it all come together, no matter how that may happen.

Conform just a bit and let the rest blow our minds.

                 We turned in the paperwork for Phillip to begin sessions at the autism center yesterday. This round of paperwork was only 6 or 7 pages long thank goodness. If there is one thing I have a bitter grudge against since this journey began it’s the paperwork. Necessary to fill out in as much detail as possible so they have an understanding of your child but each and every time I start to get that feeling. That feeling like children are droids and my son was wired wrong so I have to take him in to get rewired.

                The other part of the paperwork I hate and I think many autism parents may feel this way, is when I have to answer a question sometimes I feel the answer is no matter to the process. Meaning today I may have one answer, three days ago it was not the same, and three days from now it may also not be the same. So, you do the best you can and hope the person reading your answers knows they are never solid.

                It’s also difficult to answer some of the questions when two parents have two very different roles at home. In our home I am the manager and dad is the fun. The manager almost always deals with the sticky situations and the fun, well the fun gets tickle time and giggles. Both important roles but your answers can’t possibly match when it comes down to it. To be honest I am a slightly bitter about being the manager sometimes. It becomes routine to keep things moving as smooth as possible and sometimes you find yourself the droid who needs a rewire.

                I can’t stand the entire process of training people to act accordingly and that really is a huge part of autism. It’s hard to keep my sons attention, stay on task, follow directions, and understand simple social cues such being quiet when we need to be. All of these things have to be instilled before he can begin school so I have to embrace the process no matter how I feel about it and I have to understand he will not thrive without knowing how to do these things to the best of his ability.

                I think many times society believes therapy for autism is to fix an autistic child and to treat it out of them. That is really not the case and if it is, you might need a new therapist. The process is to help them have a fighting chance in the world as we know it. If my child needs to be taught to act accordingly to get an education, and it hurts to even type that, then that is what we need to do.

                I am tossing out the word therapist in my mind altogether because therapist and fix go hand in hand. Therapist also has a bit of a dark cloud looming over it.  I am going to view all of these lovely ladies who will be seeing my son as life aids. Aiding him to a bit of conformity we all have to have to function on a daily basis.  Aiding him to the place he needs to be to excel with the beautiful mind he was given.

                At this point you may be laughing at my denial of the word therapy and I am giggling at myself about the whole thing to but if it keeps that dark cloud away I am totally fine with my denial. Will go into this with the acceptance of some conformity and let the things that don’t need to conform or even should never conform, blow our minds as he travels through life.

Video: School bus worker chokes autistic boy - Schools - MiamiHerald.com

Video: School bus worker chokes autistic boy - Schools - MiamiHerald.com

       I don't even need to ramble on about this one, we all know how we feel about it. The disabled child is in the restraint, but it's pretty clear who needs to be restrained in this video. Every parents nightmare and a very real one that parents with a special needs child never stops thinking about. Not just the treatment of the child and I assure you, the urinating himself was a form of communication, but the fact human beings are disgusting enough to not even consider a camera directed at them in action. NO feeling of empathy, remorse, or understanding of right and wrong.
      The autistic child is NOT the disabled one in this video, not even close. Lets not forget there are some amazing people out there working with a passion to be a positive part of our children's lives and those people must never be ignored or forgotten just because the video of there character hasn't gone viral.

A busy mind...and getting tons of exercise!

               Great visit with Phillips Uncle and cousin this weekend and was nice to see the boys play together, also to get some muscle help to move some furniture in from uncle Tank.  Today we inherited a beautiful piano that matches our dining room set and hopefully when Phillip nails down his ability to pay attention he can take some piano lessons.

                I also did the unthinkable today! I went to Ross without Phillip and it was just me and my daughter who goes off shopping on her own. I had forgotten what it felt like to go into a store, look for things for myself, and not be in hurry. Not to mention not have my family running by trying to keep up with Phillip. Yes I have been given time to do this in the past but we all know if your little ones are in the building your mind is never really on finding much for yourself.  Then I did another unthinkable! I actually bought some things for myself that I took time to pick out. Things I really like and not just things I grabbed on the fly by. It was fantastic to spend a little time with my daughter even if it was short without either one of us having to manage Phillip at the same time. Then again, I missed it a bit and found myself in a hurry when I didn’t need to be. I was even talking to myself out loud because I am constantly talking to him so he will stay with my voice. It’s just the nature of the beast now and boy did I get some funny looks. For once I was getting funny looks for my behavior and not my son’s behavior, and the irony cracks me up.

                Now we are settling down for the evening. My dad is sitting in the dining room helping my oldest son with his math homework and thank God he made a trip over this evening as soon as I called for help. That alone is just an amazing feeling all around. I don’t have to give my son a pep talk and tell him to do his best because help was on the way. Having a math and biology teacher a phone call away is going to be a God sent, literally, to get the kids caught up in a good education system. I knew they were going to struggle a bit so having that support is going to be key for them to have an education they deserve.

                Phillip is running around in his diaper as usual and my daughter finished up making some brownies I intend to dive into later tonight. Dad is kicking back after a nice weekend with his brother who is typically too far away to see for a quick weekend and I am preparing to do some investigating into some old stamps from a book of modern postage stamps printed in 1940. Full of awesome stamps I am excited to find some history on. After the little man falls asleep of course and I stuff my face with some hugs in the form of chocolate.

The days are so busy with constant things to see and do I feel like boredom isn’t even an option anymore. Very different from life two weeks ago when boredom was how the day began and ended. I can’t help but wonder if this change that has made me feel like my brain has things to do is the same way Phillip feels. He has adjusted better than I could have ever imagined he would and maybe busy was exactly what he needed. Routine is good and essential for him but routine also needs ways to keep a mind moving. Exercised might be a better word to use and his busy mind is not just getting the ease of routine but the exercise of never sitting idle for way to long.

A busy mind must keep moving and this boy’s busy mind is doing a whole lot of moving these days, along with a bigger house to keep this little legs moving right along with it.

Check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.

I have noticed something in the busy world and it’s a little depressing. The robotic nature of people on the go is everywhere. Maybe I am more sensitive to this because I have a son I was told would be this way when it comes to autism. I can tell you now that is not the case at all even with routine he is very much in tune with the emotions of people. He may show it differently but it’s there.

                When I am out and about I can watch people go from customer service mode to complete shut down until the next person comes along. Just trying to be friendly to people in general seems to be forced in society. Even if you get a good reaction the person seems surprised to have been approached in a human way. When I say human I mean, with a smile or a kind word just in case that has been forgotten by the general public. People aren’t even aware of each other anymore and I consider myself a pretty antisocial person. I don’t like big crowds and extremely shy with people I don't know but I am still aware if people around me and the desire to relate to each other.

                Have we become so plugged in and in a hurry to keep up with social expectations we have actually forgotten what social means in the first place?

Social

Adjective

1. Pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations: a social club.

2. Seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious.

3. Of, pertaining to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event.

4. Living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings.

5. Of or pertaining to human society, especially as a body divided into classes according to status: social rank

 

                Just a few definitions of social and now that I am actually off the mountain and mixed into society I am wondering if people really are social beings anymore. Yes with people we know well of course we are but what has happened to the way we approach each other as strangers in general? Do we still even know how or is it now considered odd or weird to be kind and polite to people we don’t know. Everywhere I go I run into robots unless I force them to into small talk and let me tell ya, I do. At first they seem to think I may have doubled up on a Prozac prescription and then they seem to relax and remember how to be a human being again. Discomfort and confusion turns into ease and a smile.

                Today I was driving in town with my daughter who is twelve. A man was on the side of the road with a sign that read, I need help. Not for drugs or alcohol just help. Call me a sucker if you will but I gave my daughter a dollar to hand him and she seemed to enjoy giving it to him. I don’t care what he spends that dollar on, what I care about is a man who has reached a point in this life he feels he needs to do this with 30,000$ cars driving by paying no mind to a clear social disability of everyone involved. From the man to the people who ignore him, we are all responsible for the way we choose to be aware of society.

                I have spent 5 years isolated from society for the most part on the side of a mountain with most of my communication being kids and now that I am back in the rat race I find it totally ironic autism is considered socially disabled. I did before the move but now I am even more at odds with the social pressure we are putting on autistics to fit in. When you really take a good hard look around as you go about your day the greater population has in fact become socially disabled. I can tell you this when it comes to autism things need to be logical and understood. How can autism ever keep up socially if logic and understanding is no longer a part of human nature in general? Why do we take a difference and put an expectation on it that we ourselves may not even be close to living up to in the big picture of life.

                Think about this as you are living day to day and try to adjust to each other even if it’s just a smile or friendly tone. If we are going to bombard an alarming rate of children being born autistic with a standard in society to meet,  we as society need to actually live up to that expectation. In the words of the artist Ice Cube way back in the day and not exactly but close to it…We need to check ourselves, before we wreck ourselves, or possibly an entire generation of kids who are fighting to live up to a social standard we can’t even seem to figure out for ourselves.

Keep this mama going for one more hour!

               Well we are two days into the move and things are going really well. Phillip was more than fantastic on the drive over, which was 9 hours stuck in a car seat. Not one time did he protest the road trip which was awesome because in the van it was just me, him, and two hamsters.  Once we arrived he was excited to explore the house and crashed at my folk’s house with ease. The next day was a bit more of a challenge but still no real complaints from him. Just the slow adjustment of the day that also was pretty easy.

                Thank God for all of the help from family and a good friend of my dad’s unloading the U-haul and my amazing sister-in-law for putting my kitchen together. I was truly at a loss on that one with the size difference but she tackled it with grace. The kids rooms are smaller and at first glance I was afraid they would never fit their things in or be able to organize but that also came together quicker than I expected. The dog broke under the fence only once and seems to be at ease with being in the house with us the majority of her time. I had forgotten what suburbia was like but it’s coming back to me quickly. I look out the windows and all I see is more windows, tall houses, and fast moving world full of robots, who seem to have to force smiles.

                This morning the kids went in to the school to take a quick placement test and will begin school in the morning. I sat there watching the kids walking by and boy was I glad I was not in their shoes. Although from the small amount of kids I watched, I really couldn’t find the clicks like you normally would. They all looked the same to me but we will see how the day goes tomorrow for them. The same system as when I was a kid with basically the same rules but sure not the same scene I saw walking through those halls. I guess twenty years changes things or at least how you see things.

                Then it was on to find some medical attention for my daughter and apparently when you are new in town this is nearly impossible to do. If you carry state insurance no one will see you, even if you carry private as well. The state program over rides the private and good to know because if that is the case the state program will not be missed. That being said it was on to an emergency room as that was the only place that would see her…three hours later, we had care and out the door.

                What I didn’t accomplish was a trip to the autism center but hopefully that will happen tomorrow. I did manage to investigate into the special education program while sitting at the Jr high and was blown away by the programs available to family’s right down to a dads group. I don’t see this dad attending anything like that but the fact it is available is just awesome for dads who would attend. Resource after resource is all I could see and boy the feeling of knowing it is there in every direction is huge and a bit overwhelming. Since Phillip was diagnosed I have been helping him nearly alone at home and yes we have made great progress but knowing it is not entirely up to me all day everyday is just a big weight off my shoulders. What we need is out there and it’s close.

                So for now things are progressing and we are all adjusting to the busy world we have been so far away from for so long. I personally am very happy to near family and the things in life the kids have missed out on. Opportunities they would have never had are now going to available even if they choose not to take them, they are there. My entire family is within driving distance and the big town life is coming back to me slowly. Although I may need a Starbucks intervention soon along with lessons on how order coffee like a local. I tend to get a funny look when they ask me what size and I say…a big one. Apparently that is to direct and I need to learn coffee lingo to order properly. Tempting to walk up to the counter and just say, “keep my eyes open and give it to me in the biggest cup you can find. Flavor is no matter as long as you can keep this mama going for one more hour.”

Sanity and a hearty sense of humor!

                 The total chaos of moving is completely in effect, almost completely. I have been loading boxes for over a month and only two days away I feel like enough has just not gotten done. Once you bust through the first layer of stuff it seems there are more layers. The move is not the chaos I am worried about because personally I kind of like moving. It is exciting and gives me a chance to rid of things we just shouldn’t be holding on to. This move is especially exciting for me as we are moving to the place I grew up and since I was eighteen years old I have only spent a few short days at a time. I will have my family close and people I grew up with that I haven’t seen in years. Some people who really did play a big part in my life that I have never forgotten as they are impossible to forget. I have carried their smiles with me for a very long time but having the time to see those smiles in person and catch up will be so much better.

                What happens with Phillip during this move is a total mystery and yes I am worried how he will adjust. The big kids will adjust fine and make new friends with ease. They are in Junior High and I know the school they are going to is a great one with many more things for them to do to keep busy in a positive way. With Phillip it is going to go one of two ways, either very hard or very easy. I have learned during this journey with him to expect the unexpected and never assume anything.

                We will have a much bigger home for him to burn energy and hide in, with a nice fenced in safe backyard to play in. The fence is a God sent by the way and I am thrilled to have that security for him. We will live in a suburban neighborhood with busy streets so the running will be a huge challenge and trying to establish boundaries. It seems like we have finally reached the boundaries here and will begin all over again. The places we go will be much bigger, louder, faster, and overwhelming for him at first and I know this will cause some distress until he adjusts. With all this he will also have more things to do and positive things coming his way.

                For now I know some of the things to expect but my mind is going into limbo until we are actually there and it is unfolding right in front of me. I don’t expect anything from him at this point because I can’t. One step at a time and right now the first step is to drive for nine hours and get to see in person our new home which my amazing mom and dad found for us. The drive alone is enough to worry about and jumping over that worry to the next will for sure send me right over the edge into crazy town. One step at a time with no expectations is the only way to breathe easy and stay calm.

                My next blog will not be until next week when we get our internet all set up. I have no doubt between now and then life is going to throw some interesting things our way. I am really hoping those interesting things bring laughter and excitement but there is always the chance I will take a detour into crazy town along the way. In fact…let’s just assume that is going to happen and hope it makes for a good story. I hope all of you have easy days ahead and until my next blog….please pray for my sanity and hearty sense of humor!

No labels for GMO? Are you kidding me?

              Well the election is over and last night was spent on the edge of my seat waiting like most of America. I was disappointed Obama was given four more years but another issue weighed on me like a 600lb man, literally

               Proposition 37, which was a bill in California the whole country should have been voting on to label GMO food and it was shot down. A label, just a little notification to Americans the food they are about to consume has unknown consequences. When I discovered this was voted against I was completely shocked as this was an American choice. I had to wonder if people know what GMO is. Or what I really wanted to now was why on earth people would not want to be informed. Are we so secure in out of site out of mind we actually don’t want to know?

                GMO’s have been in nearly everything we eat for ten years mostly unknown to the greater population but becoming more understood. This is what I know personally from my own life that makes me so passionate about the cause. I have two older kids both born before GMO was introduced to our systems. My older children do not have autism and yes they have received all of their vaccinations to date. During that ten years my thyroid stopped working which at one time I healed by adding algae to my diet. When I stopped my thyroid also stopped. GERD was introduced to me and I had to medicate to repair possible holes developing in my stomach lining. Then I discovered I was pre-diabetic and had to limit my sugar intake on top of avoiding acidic foods. Now we have Gastric Reflux, hypothyroidism, and pre-diabetes at 29 years old and 115lbs.

                During my pregnancy with Phillip I had to keep track of my pre-diabetes to make sure we did not go into full on diabetes. I was able to manage that without any kind of intervention from the doctor and then I have a healthy 7.7lb baby boy. I breast feed him like all three of my kids to give him the healthiest start in life I can. He cries a lot but not colic. He hates loud noises, being held by anyone but mom or dad, and seems to already take comfort in a system as an infant. He is vaccinated and at 16 months he begins to fade. At two I realize my son has autism and begin endless nights of research.

                If you are wondering if I am targeting vaccines I am not. Although if his system was compromised in a way we can’t see on the outside, yes I do believe vaccines would not have been allowed to flow through him properly. Around this time I am fighting allergies. A new fight I have never experienced in my life. Allergies at 33 years old and no doctor can pin point what I am allergic to. We ensure nothing in the house could be the cause. Get rid of a bird, bleach the hell out of everything, and I vacuum every day in case it’s the dog. Although I have been around dogs my whole life so I had doubts it was her at all. When you’re sick with no answer you will blame everything.

                Today I have an autistic child who just had an allergic reaction to the only antibiotic he has ever taken. He needs a probiotic to have a bowel system that works properly and an algae supplement seems to giving him some ease neurologically. I take an allergy pill every day of the year and I have no idea why. All I know is I can’t function if I don’t have relief from whatever allergy I have. All of these things pull my brain towards GMO. Only two countries do not require a label and that would be America and Canada. Some countries have demanded a label or have flat out said no to GMO without a vote by their citizens even required because common sense and consequences stepped in before a vote was ever needed.

                I have no understanding of why in the state of California, where the doors for same sex marriage were opened, a label to give us a choice was turned down. Are we so selfish in our out of site out of mind culture we are willing to gamble with our own lives and our children’s lives? We will legalize marijuana, we will fight for same sex marriage, we want free health care and we will hold on to a failing economy. We will complain about our health and the effects are right in front of us in society every day but we don’t want to know what is in our food? That is devastating insight into the priorities of way to many Americans. That alone will keep you from sleeping sound at night.

 

Spirulina or a blessing? Either way it's mind blowing!

            http://vitamins.lovetoknow.com/Spirulina_for_Autism  

 

                This week has been a real eye opener with new things coming at us from every direction. One of the new things happening here is only what I can call my son busting out of locked doors autism has been holding him hostage behind. I have always been a big advocate for the genetic side of autism and still am but over the last three years it has been hard to ignore some of the medical clues thrown at me.

                From constant bowel problems, the lost look in his eyes, and the way his mind would not allow him to communicate. Yes he has physical ways of communication but at the same time, I could always see the desire in him to verbally communicate. My son has had basically no therapy to this point with lack of resources and the ones we did have were just not effective from day one. Twice he regressed from even attempting to utilize what we did have available to us. Heartbreaking both times and one of the biggest setbacks with this was therapists putting his frustration level to the test. To learn his limits and a tactic I can’t understand. A child who lives on the brink of frustration every day is taken into a room with a stranger only to be pushed beyond what they can tolerate for a test? This never made sense to me at all and clearly he felt the same way.

                We solved the bowel issues for the most part with a simple probiotic given to him daily but when life changes a bit that issue does come back. I can say that is stress related and doesn’t seem to be related to his digestive system like it used to be. We tried gluten free for some time and although a good diet for anyone, he is very thin and again lack of resources sent us back to regular but healthy eating. Gluten free was good for him, but the picky side of him or sensory side of him limited his food intake to a point of concern. Then we had the allergic reaction to the only antibiotic he has ever taken which again sent me into research mode and the medical side of autism.

                Late nights of reading until my eyes begged me to stop I found myself researching Spirulina. A blue algae supplement with a ton of benefits. Just to name a few, anti-inflammatory, balanced immune system, protein up the ying yang and so much more. It is even thought to fend off those GMO active DNA cells that sit in our system.  Very much worth reading about for anyone who is looking into taking back their health. I take this every day now and fatigue is no longer my side kick.

                I also starting giving Phillip 1/8^th of a teaspoon in his juice every day and he doesn’t seem to mind the taste one bit. The protein benefit is a God sent alone just because tapioca and bacon are not cutting it. There are also some changes that have come quick in the last week. First change that was a bit shocking was a new show of emotion and if you are raising a child with autism you know sometimes the only emotions that are clearly expressed are joy and anger. On day two I told Phillip it was bedtime and typically no reaction to this comment but to our surprise he whimpered. A typical three year old reaction that did not escalate into tantrum and it blew my mind. The same day he ate his dinner and more. Something he has actually never done. The next day we heard a few new words come from him while playing. Four, total for the day and again my mind was blown. Now let’s move onto day five and we have eight sign language and words come out of his mouth. Please, thank you, ball, eat, book, all done, more, and help.  He hasn’t said these things or signed them but knew them. Something opened the door to let them out all together.

                Was it Spirulina? I don’t know for sure and wish will all my might I could know for sure. We are going to continue using it every day and see how changes play out. Getting ready for a huge move and if the doors are in fact open then his reactions will be different through the changes. If he is able to communicate emotions in a healthier way then I will have to credit Sprunila for creating some kind of balance in his system. Until then it is a blessing and taking it in as I watch it happen, thankful for every moment.

                 Aside from autism I would suggest anyone look into Spirulina and do some research. The above link is just one break down of the algea but there is much more info to look into.

 

Start with kindness...even a small act of it.

                 A lot going on in the world right now and seems a bit overwhelming at times I think for a lot of people. Or if you are on the east coast, extremely overwhelming. We are about to find out who our president will be for the next four years and we all know this has people very much on edge no matter who you support. The world is a crazy place and we are all hanging onto hope for the human race.

                Just before Halloween we stopped at Wal-Mart to find a last min costume for Phillip. By chance I found one that was missing the mask and gloves. Of course I pointed it out to the checker because if you are buying half of a costume you like to think you won’t have to pay full price. The checker told me the only discount offered no matter what is 10% off and that was the limit. Wal-Mart policy was to not give any more than that under any circumstance. I told her it was fine and knew this was a company policy and nothing could be done but she called a manager anyway to just to see what she would say. The manager came over and immediately I could see she had a hard exterior and was no way she was going to budge on the 10%. We started talking and she told me I needed to go back to the costumes and find the rest of the costume which was not an option. I told the employees it wasn’t that big of deal and I was ok with the 10% and I was polite to them. Not their fault they work for a huge greedy corporation who only cares about profit. In fact with the economy the way it is, I have respect for them for even going to work every day at such a rotten place to work.

                Once we settled the manager quickly told the checker to lower the price much lower price than 10% off which surprised the checker. When the manager walked away she told me I must have caught her on a good day. My response was there is no reason to get upset with her. She is just doing her job they way she is told to. That is when the checker told me about a customer from the day before who was trying to receive a discount on a TV. He grew so angry with her over the 10% discount he went on to call her horrible names. Names most people wouldn’t be able to listen to and get up the next day to go to work. It disgusted me to think someone would be so rude and inhuman that another person’s worth in life was ok to trample on over a TV. Stories like this put a dent in my hope for the human race.

                Today I turned on the news and saw the NY marathon runners decided to run anyway even after the mayor canceled it. I suspect trying to keep the hope alive which is nice, but all I could think was they are spending the day running with a huge amount of people not to far away who need some help from people who have the energy run a marathon. Again, a dent in my hope for the human race.

                While you go about your day think about the fact that maybe you are just one person in a huge overwhelming world, you still have the ability to think outside the box. Think about your actions towards others and how you can affect someone in a big way with a small action. Kindness is a great place to start in a world where kindness stands out and people need to feel it from others. Take some time to help someone just because you can even if it means just holding a door and giving someone a smile that needs it. Go just a bit out of your way to do something you would like to see more of in society because for the most part we all have one thing in common. We all want more of this from each other and possibly we want more of it from ourselves.

Updates from past blogs. Lessons learned.

Today I am going to update from earlier blogs. Life changes quickly and sometimes I can look back at a blog and realize just how fast it happens.

                  Authority or Power? They are not the same...

This update is one I tend to be grateful for and lessons learned for more than just me. If you have read this one you know there was some static this day with my older kids school. I was not happy with the authority and the authority was not happy with me but at a football game I saw the receptionist and I didn’t like knowing that her only interaction with me was an angry little woman storming out of the school office. I apologized to her for my actions and felt much better after speaking with her briefly. Even if her opinion stayed the same I gave it my best. The principle and I have also come back to common ground and both admit the day could have gone differently. Peace was restored which brings me to the next update.

That dang normal bus...or is it?

The bus warden has been stopped. My son did decide to sit in the seat that was off limits and yes, things did get a bit more heated and difficult. Proud of him for standing up to this person knowing it could go very bad for him. When all was said the done the authority caught wind of the situation and ended it immediately. The bus bully no longer calls the shots and the kids are free to sit as they please. So that being said I have eat the title of the first update because in this case authority was in fact power and used that power to make a lot of kids feel secure and relaxed again. Also to let the bully know they are not actually in charge, an important thing for bullies to be reminded of.

 Number one challenge potty training by far!

This update is one that I have truly learned a lot from. Yes, the transition was in fact the number one challenge. It was so much of a challenge we have had to back off of potty training and wait a bit longer to try again. Even having to get him comfortable in a diaper again and right now you might be baffled. You see we mastered the sitting still. We mastered understanding the process and we mastered all the steps involved, even staying dry at night. What I could not find a way to battle around was my sons disapproval in regard to the change. He seems to want to use the potty at times but he can not connect the act of doing this with his routine and without very much verbal communication it is an even bigger challenge. He held it so long he put himself in constant pain and soon he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t connect the potty to his mind but he had in fact connected going in a diaper was not the way. He became stuck in limbo and stuck in a lot of pain. Very hard to explain but for now, we back off and wait as I was told from the start. Patience was the wise word from a friend by the name of Susan and it was the wisest advice I have been given, now taken truly to heart.

That is the updates for now and this week will be spent packing and preparing for a move back to my hometown. A drastic change for all of us and I can only guess will bring some very good stories!