We turned in the
paperwork for Phillip to begin sessions at the autism center yesterday. This
round of paperwork was only 6 or 7 pages long thank goodness. If there is one
thing I have a bitter grudge against since this journey began it’s the
paperwork. Necessary to fill out in as much detail as possible so they have an
understanding of your child but each and every time I start to get that feeling.
That feeling like children are droids and my son was wired wrong so I have to
take him in to get rewired.
The
other part of the paperwork I hate and I think many autism parents may feel
this way, is when I have to answer a question sometimes I feel the answer is no
matter to the process. Meaning today I may have one answer, three days ago it
was not the same, and three days from now it may also not be the same. So, you
do the best you can and hope the person reading your answers knows they are
never solid.
It’s
also difficult to answer some of the questions when two parents have two very
different roles at home. In our home I am the manager and dad is the fun. The
manager almost always deals with the sticky situations and the fun, well the
fun gets tickle time and giggles. Both important roles but your answers can’t
possibly match when it comes down to it. To be honest I am a slightly bitter
about being the manager sometimes. It becomes routine to keep things moving as
smooth as possible and sometimes you find yourself the droid who needs a
rewire.
I can’t
stand the entire process of training people to act accordingly and that really
is a huge part of autism. It’s hard to keep my sons attention, stay on task,
follow directions, and understand simple social cues such being quiet when we
need to be. All of these things have to be instilled before he can begin school
so I have to embrace the process no matter how I feel about it and I have to
understand he will not thrive without knowing how to do these things to the
best of his ability.
I think
many times society believes therapy for autism is to fix an autistic child and
to treat it out of them. That is really not the case and if it is, you might
need a new therapist. The process is to help them have a fighting chance in the
world as we know it. If my child needs to be taught to act accordingly to get
an education, and it hurts to even type that, then that is what we need to do.
I am
tossing out the word therapist in my mind altogether because therapist and fix
go hand in hand. Therapist also has a bit of a dark cloud looming over it. I am going to view all of these lovely ladies
who will be seeing my son as life aids. Aiding him to a bit of conformity we
all have to have to function on a daily basis. Aiding him to the place he needs to be to excel
with the beautiful mind he was given.
At this
point you may be laughing at my denial of the word therapy and I am giggling at
myself about the whole thing to but if it keeps that dark cloud away I am
totally fine with my denial. Will go into this with the acceptance of some conformity
and let the things that don’t need to conform or even should never conform, blow
our minds as he travels through life.
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