The division between parents when it comes to autism always
seems to push itself to surface from time to time. The division I am talking
about is the different opinions that stem from different experiences with
having autism tossed into life. When Phillip was diagnosed I guess I was silly
thinking all of us autism parents would be united and stand for the cause
together like a big band of brave acceptance warriors. It is a bit like that in
some ways but in many ways it’s not.
Autism
is such a different experience for everyone that it can even be difficult to
find just a few other people who share your opinions or close to them. I have
ran into nearly every kind of autism parent there is, I think and I am almost
reluctant to say that because we have a long way to go on this journey. What do I mean by every kind of autism parent
there is? You will find the parents who see autism is a gift, as a curse, as a
disorder, as a neurological difference, as a vaccine induced disease, as an
evolutionary impact, and sometimes you find the parent who just doesn’t know
and deals with whatever comes their way. My favorite people aren’t parents at all, but people
who will actually flat out tell you how your child became autistic. Those
people don’t really have a place in this blog but mentioning them makes me
laugh so I had to throw it in.
I have
tried to stay away from this topic but every time I see these parents collide I
feel a bit of pain for autism, no matter how it became a factor in life. We all
want our children to be understood but even then I can say we don’t always
understand our own children so we fight to get society to on board and fight to
explain why at the same time. The emotions of autism are draining at times but
well worth it. There have been times I have wanted to change the title of my
blog to The Evolution of an Autism Mommy just because my opinions and feelings
change so often. It is a roller coaster to say the least.
With
that being said I know society and the people we interact with, by nature are not
drawn towards learning about something so confusing. I would even think many
people are just afraid of it in general from the things they read or even from
a screaming child they might have encountered in line at the grocery store. If
that screaming child possibly hitting mom or dad is the only autism encounter
they have had, I wouldn’t expect them to jump into wanting to know more. Now it
you take that screaming child who can also memorize an entire Pixar movie in
one sitting, and make that child a nephew, grandson, little sister, or best
friends youngest then you have someone who is willing to want to learn more. A
direct impact will do that to a person so in all the autism division I worry. I
worry that parents unknowingly push people away from the desire to know more.
Autistic
kids generally don’t see how their autism impacts others unless we show them.
They also don’t see how it will impact their own life unless we show them. In
all the division and different opinions I want to shout…”Stop the madness!” I
want to shout it as a parent who needs other parents and I want to shout it for
all of the nonverbal people living with autism. They want success and as much
independence as possible in life or maybe they just want to get through the day
with a smile from a stranger because they don’t see one often enough. Either
way the quickest way to help both of those things happen, or hope for that to
happen is to stop the madness and focus on what truly matters to each and every
autism parent you will ever come in contact with….the impact. The impact of
autism, the impact of a parent, the impact of our children, and the one we all
really need to move to the top shelf….the impact ON our children.
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