Could it be happiness really is just a state of mind so many
people don’t understand is an easy place to get to? Ok, maybe not easy but
easier than it seems. Yesterday was a day I was dreading in every way. A long
drive to a busy place to school clothes shop and manage an autistic 3 year old
in thick crowds of unfriendly people. When I woke up in the morning I made a
firm decision I was going to have fun no matter what came at us for the day. To
make a long story short, that is exactly how the day went. All three kids were extremely
well behaved. There was laughing and very few battles over clothes and when we
arrived home at nearly 11pm we all felt like we had a great day.
Only
once did an unfriendly bystander seem to disagree with the behavior of Phillip
and to be honest she made me laugh. He was running and making noise and the
look on her face had to be painful her one eyebrow was lifted so high in her forehead.
Actually it was a bit impressive the face she was making. It never broke even
when I smiled at her and her ability to speak with her face was one like no
other I have seen before.
I have
faced some grueling struggles in this life and some I could say I wasn’t sure I
would survive. At one point in my life I really didn’t see any purpose to my
being whatsoever. I had allowed people to hurt me in so many cruel ways I
nearly lost any sense of my own worth. This happened over and over again and in
my head I just couldn’t understand it. I had wondered if it was just life
coming at me for whatever reason. Not so…it was me having no understanding that
I had much more control than I knew. Maybe life was going to throw some mud in
my face from time to time but I had the ability to control how it affected me
and my reaction to everything. I could either sit around feeling sorry for myself
or I could battle back and decide if this is what is going to happen, than this
is what I am going to do about it and feel confident in my reaction.
I
suppose when my son was diagnosed with autism it didn’t feel like the end of
the world for me because I had already been to the end of the world a few times
and this was just no comparison. Was it difficult and completely overwhelming? Yes
of course it was. He is my son and a life struggle from the start was not what
I wanted for him ever. At the same time if I looked at the diagnosis as the end
of the world I knew that is exactly what it would be. If I dwelled on the
negatives so would he and that option was just not ok with me.
Yesterday
when I woke up with the state of mind it was going to be a great day it was
basically a warning to any negatives that came our way. I am ready and the day
is ours, no negatives allowed. Choosing to have that attitude was the first
step to making it happen. I believe that is a contagious feeling to those you
are closest to. No we can’t have total control, but we do always have more than
we think we do. Once you fine tune that ability the surprises start rolling in.
Struggles will always come but everyone has the ability to decide push on with their
very own customized reaction. The world around you can’t dictate that and
considering we have our own customized case of autism around here, I think one
important lesson any kind of social therapy can’t offer him is the strength in
reaction to difficult times. The guidelines to this are in example and feeling
the affect and in no way is that limited to my son but every person or child we
are blessed to have in life.
My favorite
line from the Lorax movie… “I was off with an unrealistic sense of optimism!”
No comments:
Post a Comment