Dear Other Mom...

   Dear Other Mom,

   I noticed you when you walked in to the waiting room.  You and your beautiful three kids, who look just like you, are put together perfectly and I can see in just a few short minutes how much pride you have in being a mom.  Your kids followed you in line and sat down right next to you without moving around to much, stayed so quiet, and listened to every word you said.  I can see you have worked hard at raising them and I am happy for you in so many ways because I get it.  It's the hardest job on earth to be a mom and success feels awesome.

   I can also see you staring at my son.  He's running around the room because an animated movie is on the TV which usually sends him into full blown meltdown and he's working terribly hard to manage that feeling.  Every time he runs across the room you look at him as though he lacks the ability to control himself and then you glance at me.  As though you are wondering if or when I will force him to sit still.  I see you watch him while he grows louder because the room is growing louder and that's how he reacts to noise levels, he's coping very well.  You glance at me again maybe wondering if I will force him to be quiet but you don't know that his noise level is a sign of stress. 

   A team of amazing people and myself have worked hard just to prepare him to have the ability to be in that room.  I can see you staring at him and I can see you don't notice I am staring at you.  This is typically the case and most of the time I like to think people just find him interesting. He's always using his imagination and could care less about who's watching.   I also know some are truly judging because they don't understand what they see happening.

   I watched him walk over to your child and try to start a conversation and my heart burst because three years ago he didn't have the ability to do that at all.  I love seeing this happen like I can't even explain. Then I watched your child look at you not knowing what to do and you discouraged interaction with him.  Now I am glancing at you wondering if you knew how hard he worked for that moment, would you have encouraged your child to be just a bit more social with him?  I can see how much pride you have in being a mom and it shows through your children.  I have that pride too and it shows through my child as well.  In different ways, on different levels, and with a different life.

Sincerely,
An Autism Mom