Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The thought bubbles over my head would say....

   As time goes on I am more aware of the fact people just can't fully understand our circumstance because they aren't living it. They can try very hard and they do, but to fully understand is nearly impossible. Autism is way to complicated to expect anyone to just get it. Knowing this I often think something and say something else just to either get off topic or stop myself from being in a constant state of explanation. As much as I want people to understand that constant state of explanation is also a constant state of exhaustion. However the thoughts that come into my head are all in good humor because humor is what keeps me charged, or sort of charged. Here are some things I have thought during a conversation along with what I actually say out loud.

   1. When someone says to me "I am sure he will adjust if you give him a chance." My response is always "It's really just not that simple." In my head I am thinking, have you even heard of autism?

   2. When someone says "just don't give him food until he eats what you give him." Out loud I say, "that doesn't work." In my head, sure because slowly starving my already underweight child to death to prove I rule with an iron fist is an excellent idea.

   3. "He is going to have to adjust because the world won't adjust for him." Out loud I say, "I know, it's a challenge." In my head, no shit.

   4. "Do you think he understands?" Out loud, of course he understands. In my head, he is autistic not brain dead.

   5. "Have you read any of Jenny Mcarthy's books?" Out loud, "yes I have and not a big fan". In my head, If I could afford new boobs not sure I would get them but looking that good at 41 would be great.

   6. "They say some kids snap out of it." Out loud, "I have heard that but I don't see that happening with us." In my head, he snaps but only if something changes and it's into autism not out of it."

   7. "Do loud noises cause a problem?" Out loud, "yes, his hearing is very elevated." In my head, you just blew your nose and my son disappeared, time to go.

   8. "Your so strong." Out loud, "Thank you so much." In my head, next time I make the mistake of giving him a bowl of Cheetos that ruin our entire day, I am going to call you and we will see if you can translate what I am saying through my toddler like sobbing because I am unbreakable.

   9. "He has so much energy! How do you do it?" Out loud, "he sure does!" In my head, I don't do it. I am tired as hell and if Starbucks would deliver by the gallon, I would be eternally grateful.

  10. "Einstein was autistic." Out loud, "yes, that's what they say." In my head, why does the majority of society either think someone with autism is lacking thought or mastering new scientific discoveries in their spare time? Weird...

   Humor in my head but socially adjusted comes out of my mouth because I never want to offend anyone, although this list might. It's not my intention but to just lighten the load a bit and have a laugh. I can only imagine what my son might say to people out loud when he gets older if his speech allows it. I am anticipating his social challenges will bring some tears and laughs just the same. The idea is to cling to some humor during the process.

2 comments:

  1. I have to say you are vey polite - My all time favourite - My son is 'insert herewhatever behavious is causing stares or comments' is caused by his Autism. What is your excuse for being so rude/unkind/ignorant? Delivered with a pointed look :-).

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  2. You are very correct, I am sometimes maybe a little to polite but to be fair I have not yet encountered anyone who has highly upset me. Could have, but my perspective is most people, unless they live it, just really have no idea and if they are rude I want to limit any interaction with them as much as possible. Or maybe up to this point I really have just been very lucky! lol

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