A boy and a mission...

                I love to watch my son operate and I mean literally how his mind operates. I love this about all three of my kids and can say one of my favorite things since the day I became a mom is watching how their minds work. It doesn’t matter if it is a small thing or a big one I just love seeing who they are. It’s actually my idea of fun. I know maybe I need to get out more but it really is fun to see happen.

                Today I stopped at the park for a bit and when I pulled into the parking lot I glanced back at Phillip in the rearview mirror. His eyes grew much bigger and his mouth flew open. He didn’t make a sound but his face was in shock I took a right instead of heading over the bridge like we typically do. Once I unbuckled him he took off like a rocket but not in the direction you would think a three year old would go. In one direction was your typical playground in bright blue colors and the other direction was the river. The river was his destination and nothing was going to slow him down. His little legs were moving top speed and he did not once look back. As soon as he was within 6 ft of the edge I told him to slow way down because I never know if he is just going to bomb right in or stop.  This time to my surprise he slowed down the moment I told him to, and waited for me to catch up.

                I took a magazine with me because he likes to focus for a long time and I can’t sit very long. I thought maybe it would help me to not be so antsy to leave to fast. We tossed a very small rock in the water and that was when he began his mission. A half hour later he had cleared a small section of the bank of river rock but that part of the mission wasn’t what blew me away. It was the way he chose to do it that I could not stop watching him. From that tiny rock he started a pattern. The next rock he chose was a bit bigger and he would carefully wait to watch the splash. Each rock he chose after that was just a bit bigger than the last. It wasn’t just the size he chose carefully but the shape was important to him as well and flat was his shape of choice. Even if he had to dig for the next perfect rock he did it and always just a bit bigger. Eventually he was pulling up flat rocks he could barely lift and barely throw but he was not going to stop. When I could see the struggle was just too much I told him one more and all done. With that he barely tossed his last large rock, waited for the splash and took off for the van. Just like that, no fuss and almost like he also knew he was running out of options.I never did pick up that magazine because I didn’t need to. Watching him and the way his mind was working was far to entertaining and fascinating to miss out on for some junk mail magazine. In fact I hadn’t even realized how long we were there.

                    A day like this is one reason why I have such a difficult time with the way autism is perceived by so many people. How can this kind of thinking at not even three years old be looked at the way some people see it? How can the mind of a toddler who just created a strict pattern based on size and shape, refusing to give up be considered broken in eyes of society. I know, he doesn't speak well and he gets overwhelmed but at the same time he seems advanced. Advanced in some ways and behind in others. Just like rest of the human race.

                   Autism brings something different to each person and we are very blessed that Phillips autism doesn’t cause any discomforts but I sometimes wonder if there are things about autistics we are missing just by simply being so caught up in the diagnosis of autism. Maybe sometimes we are so wrapped up in the struggle we miss the amazing things. I know if I would have picked up that magazine I would have missed something very important in regard to my son’s abilities. I like to think I know his abilities….until he proves to me that there is so much more I need to know.