Boredom is the enemy of a busy autistic mind

               What happens when taking your child to public places is difficult and it’s too cold to play outside? Boredom happens and boredom is the enemy of a busy autistic mind. When his mind becomes idle he expresses just how he feels about that and yesterday Phillip was clearly telling me all morning his mind was stuck on idle. He has plenty of toys and things he could play with but most of those toys don’t require him to figure anything out so he doesn’t have much of an interest for more than a very short time.

                I have spent more money than I care to think about on small pointless toys he either had no desire to play with or investigated it and didn’t care to play after he figured it out. I even have toys he will never touch but in my mind I want him to because I thought he would like them, and they sit.

                After a long morning of screaming boredom I set out to find something that would curb his idle irritation. It had to be something very busy but not too busy. It had to be without loud sound effects and bold obnoxious colors and lights. All of which he doesn’t care for and sometimes the sound alone completely kills the appeal. I had the perfect toy in mind and it was a train table similar to the one he had his intense focus on in the book store the other day and I knew Toys R Us had some complete with train set on clearance from Christmas. They had one and not in the price range I was hoping for but at this point I didn’t care one bit because everything we needed to kill boredom for more than one day was in that box.

                This is how quickly the train table eased Phillips desire to soak in information. As soon as my daughter and I unloaded the one million parts from the box, his irritation was gone. Completely gone and his patience was restored. It took my daughter and me four hours to put this entire project together and Phillip was quiet and content the entire time. Picture a mommy on the edge, a 12 year old who doesn’t understand it’s harder than it looks, very bad directions, and a toddler who spent the morning with zero patience. This should have been a recipe for a complete disaster but it turned out to be four hours of quiet therapy on a bad day.

                When the table was complete, with a few minor setbacks, Phillip was engaged and busy for the rest of the evening. He played past his bedtime quietly and got up this morning to continue his train table adventures. I was counting on his reaction this morning because there was a 50/50 chance he would be done with it, but the odds were in our favor!

                I don’t like this train table. It’s big and I am a slightly bitter about the “clearance” price but what I can’t stand even more is how boredom affects Phillip. His mind is constantly craving things to do and at this very moment he is opening and closing a sliding closet door, keeping a close eye on how it moves across the track above. Just a bit ago he was investigating the labels on everything in the refrigerator door. It is fascinating to me and extremely challenging to figure out what is not enough for his busy mind and what is too much because both elements have a huge impact on his comfort level with the world around him. A challenge so many people are trying to figure out.

We can all learn from total lack of selfish desire.

             Birthdays are such a great event! We all have one and we all love it, to a point anyway. I am more into ignoring mine than celebrating or making a fuss about it but secretly I do like to feel special when my birthday rolls around. Kid’s birthdays are nearly the greatest day of the year. Three holidays in a kids mind are stand out awesome and those would be Christmas, Halloween, and the birthday. The one day everyone is celebrating you.  There are balloons, cake, ice cream, a party, favorite dinner, friends, and those ever amazing presents screaming your name and your name only.  Kids wonder if they have a present in there they have been begging for. Maybe a surprise present mom and dad said they would never buy. It’s just all around one of the greatest days of the year to a child.

                For my son it’s an entirely different story and as strong as I aim to be all three of these holidays can get me a down a bit. Yesterday was in fact Phillips third birthday and to be totally honest he didn’t recognize it. I actually don’t even know if he understands he is three years old. I like to think he does and I like to think he knew it was his day but all of the clues of the day pointed to he had no idea what was going on. He liked his balloons because they float that’s cool and he liked some of that nasty chocolate cake. I unwrapped his presents and he had almost no interest in the unwrapping process. It took him some time to even acknowledge the gifts and play with them. New things are so easily accepted. A hard thing for others to understand when a gift is presented to him, no matter how awesome it may be, it’s still new and out of the ordinary. I end up pushing it on him so the person who gave it to him feels like he likes it. A habit I am getting myself out of because it’s an issue that is only based on my concern and no one else’s.

                Even though he lacks the ability to get excited about his own birthday and it gets me down a bit there is the other side to it I appreciate in a huge way. He is a child who doesn’t require things to be happy. He doesn’t demand anything as far as material objects and even though he shows no interest right away he also doesn’t show disappointment if something isn’t what he thought it would be. Sometimes a kid gets a gift they don’t like and they let it be known but I don’t see that in him either. It’s all based on interest. There is no show if emotion regarding selfish desire. To me that is one of the inspiring things about him. Of course I want him to be excited about the holidays but there so much to learn from someone who isn’t capable of falling into the selfish desires of wanting to many things, even if he didn’t choose to be this way it’s something we all wish we could grasp one way or another. The ability to be happy with what you have and the only desire that ails you is to communicate how you feel. What if we all had just a little bit more of this in ourselves?

Sensory Fun!

http://astore.amazon.com/ourtriptopari-20

            Above is a link to a store I have put together full of sensory seeking fun! I also added a holiday section just because I wanted to. Check it out and keep in mind it's a work in progress at this point. Picking things to add one by one and it has been a long process. It can be hard to figure out what a child will use or not use and I can say I have thrown way to much money into things my son wouldn't touch. It's taken me to this point to somewhat have it figured out but we do still have those hit and miss items.

            There are tons of computer programs and Apps for kids but we really need to remember physical activity is very important for all kids.

            A child doesn't have to be autistic to enjoy these things and all kids need that physical stimulation. I will be adding more and considering a section for parents to spoil themselves a bit to considering I know first hand we put ourselves aside all the time. Some items educators could use or family members for gift ideas for your child.

            Short and sweet today! Hope you all keep your smiles on and find thousands of reasons to wear it.=D