Reach out to autistic adults.

               Yesterday was a day a cold hard reality slapped me right across the face. It took most of the day to accept this reality and know that it is more powerful than anything I can change in the blink of an eye. Baby steps and with the help of so many people this reality could change but when I laid down last night to sleep I had to tell myself, this is the way it is going to be and I have to find a way to understand that.

                There is a stigma on autism that many people believe to be true and maybe in some ways it is but it is certainly not a fair one. Yesterday when I said the word autism the conversation when to directly to discipline and how to handle my sons behavior. The problem was I hadn’t stated my son had issues with his behavior. I know many people on that statement alone would say…but he has autism.

                Phillip and so many other kids are not burdens in the world but the world becomes there burden. I don’t look at the challenges autism brings as discipline problems because his nature is good. He never tries to hurt anyone and he has a genuine interest in everything that actually keeps him too busy to attempt to be a naughty boy. The only time Phillip is hard to manage is when the world comes crashing down on him and this no fault of his own. Knowing this it makes it hard to know so many people feel autism and bad behavior go hand in hand. When I am carrying him out of a busy environment and he is upset, this is because his mind isn’t making the change as fast as it needs to. Then he gets a wave of feelings and his mind also has to get a hold of that. Both of these things at the same time cause a challenge. He has to learn to cope with that collision and I believe he will with patience and time. He is already learning his own mind and using some skills to calm himself when he feels that collision coming but he is three and he has a long way to go.

                Yesterday I also came to another reality but not such a hard one to accept. I think people want to understand autism and do listen but the complexity of how each child operates is very difficult to grasp. Some people truly have no understanding and it is much easier to view a child as naughty then it is to understand the process of an autistic mind. I can blog and blab my mouth until the end of time and there will still be an inability to grasp the difference.  They hear what the media reports and they know padded rooms and restraints are used. Immediately the view of someone with autism is distorted to think these tactics are necessary to control such out of control children. Then again that’s a hard thing to argue to because even some parents support those tactics, because they haven’t found another way…yet.  

                Maybe in time this stigma will not be so strong when it comes to our kids and maybe in time people will discover new tactics to help. Adults with autism play a key role in the progress and listening to how they would have liked their own struggles handled by others. If people will listen to celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, who gave her child bleach enemas, why are we not utilizing the logic of adults who truly do understand?