Do You Understand Gut Flora and Probiotics?

http://www.pointofreturn.com/probiotics.html

            The link above is an easy to follow read about probiotics and getting your gut flora healthy. My son used to suffer from extreme constipation, to the point a week would go by and his physical discomfort was horrible for him to endure. I was told this is unfortunately an autistic trait but I just couldn't settle for that. Autism is a neurological difference and considering the gut is sometimes called a second brain it seemed to me, this problem had to be affecting his brain and not the other way around. The toxic affects of fecal matter sitting in his body for way to long was to much for me to ignore and just push through the problem.

             They say a probiotic is important after a round of antibiotics because antibiotics will eliminate the good bacteria, the gut flora. My son has never been on an antibiotic and for the most part he is very healthy but what kept weighing on me was what if what he is not digesting properly is causing a toxic effect? I began to give him a daily probiotic called Culterelle and quickly I saw a change. For a month now he has not been constipated one time and because of that he is able to get rid of toxins and hopefully digest nutrients regularly. He focuses better and the hand flapping stopped all together.

             There is a reason I chose this article and it's because it points out one fact most do not. What we consume, meats, milk, eggs, preservatives etc... Antibiotics are in these products along with many other things we shouldn't be consuming daily. It's my belief over time, consuming these things will affect your digestive system and although it's not a immediate affect like a prescription antibiotic, we have to consider the long term effects of the small doses in mass produced food we eat. After all if we know these things harm our system with a large dose all at once, why would we assume small doses over time won't harm us?

             Go organic as much as possible and add a probiotic to your daily routine! I don't know exactly how my son feels because he can't tell me but I can see it's had a positive affect. I now do the same and I can say I feel better then I ever have in my life with this small change.

Grand Prize Parenting Moment...We All Have Them.

              We all have moments as parents we reach for something that works and hang on to it and we feel like we just received our own invisible grand prize trophy on figuring out our child. Moments you won’t find in a how to raise the perfect child handbook or no specialist will tell you to do.  It has nothing to do with a system of steps to take and you’re not going to find it on the Internet. A Parenting moment that by some miracle works for the time being and I can tell you what works today, may not work tomorrow.

 When my son is in tantrum mode he will go into his room and shut the door. Then I find myself wanting to find way to calm him even if I know there is no way. I used to open the door every few minutes and ask him if he was OK and it never worked. He would jump right back into full on tantrum and shut the door. He can’t open doors yet, so coming out on his own isn’t an option and that has prompted me to want the door open for him. The other day I started thinking about my approach and morphed myself into autism. He is already in process breakdown mode and I am, to him, a big person. I open the door towering over him and to top it off I am asking if he OK. A question he can’t answer and I realized just how frustrating that has to be for him. He understands my question but he can’t tell me.

                I tried something new that made me feel like I won the parenting grand prize after I spent some time thinking about the situation. He was in his room again having a tantrum because he couldn’t process coming into the house from the car so quickly. There is so much in between he wants to discover that it is always a problem to make that transition. I waited for what sounded like a calm moment. There is a two inch gap under his bedroom door so I laid down on the hallway floor and said his name very quietly under the door. He also laid down on the floor so we were face to face. His pupils were huge and that told me he was still not completely back from the place that was causing him to be so upset. We laid there and I sang him a song, which happened to be Gotye Somebody That I used to Know, because it grabs his attention for whatever reason. I literally watched his pupils return to a smaller size. Once his pupils returned to normal and he seemed OK I got up and opened the door. This time, he came out and was back to a happy toddler.  If I would have gone into his room he would not have responded to me that way at all and calming him would have taken much longer.  Now when I think back and picture this tactic in my head it makes me laugh because it really is just silly.

                I can picture a professional telling me to lie on the floor and sing a really bad song under the door and it cracks me up but it worked and I am hanging onto it. Even if the tactic is unorthodox and completely silly use it and if can make you laugh, even better. What works today may not work tomorrow and that’s OK because it’s not tomorrow yet.

Being Offended Is a Choice...Choose Wisley.

Pro-gay marriage groups plan Chick-fil-A ’Kiss-In’

 Lets take a look at how silly human nature can be for a second. No matter what your beliefs are or who you want to support, there is one thing ALL of these people on different sides of the fence could be addressing as one united group. The health crisis that is infecting the future generations of our country.
 I find it really interesting everyone is in an uproar about each others beliefs, when it really only affects them if they want it to at the end of the day. It's a choice to be offended by another persons opinion, and having a Kiss-In isn't going to change a persons life long stance.
 Here is what they are all missing in the war with each other.....fast food is bad for everyone. The effects of fast food on our bodies could care less who we are kissing or what our religious views are.
Bottom line, no matter what your views are, I don't want your french fries. If you want to have a Kiss-In, try to consider the protest alone gave this company a record setting income. By choosing to be offended, it actually turned into feeding the source that offended you.
 This land we live in of free speech has turned into the land of free speech as long as what you speak of isn't offensive. Parents of autistic children are bombarded with offensive remarks no matter what. I know every where I go in public someone always has some kind opinion or look of judgment. Comes with the territory of raising a child that operates differently.
 Yesterday my son and I did some shopping and this not a fun outing for me at all. He runs, he has to touch everything and his energy level is very difficult to keep up with. Stopped at a store we rarely go to so I could look for some education products for him. I figured it was a small place so he would be free to touch and I could see what he has the biggest interest in. Hard to find things he stays focused on because once he has soaked it in, he moves on to something else to soak up. So, we spent nearly an hour looking, and 90% of that time was me redirecting and chasing him.
 An older women who worked there told Phillip twice not to run, it was clearly bothering her from the start. Each time she didn't know I was 3 ft away and could hear her. I actually watched to see if he would even react to her because sometimes kids will listen to a new voice...not this little man. He was totally ignoring her. Or actually to focused on what he was doing to process her voice directed at him.
 When we finally established some things that might keep his interest I wrestled him up to the register. The women said to me..." you need to establish some authority" Now, here is the part I could have been offended but I chose not to be. I actually giggled at her observation because she had no idea how much authority I have been able to gain. Still kind of funny to me a day later.
 Moral of the story...she was offended by my parenting and I could have been offended by her opinion. I chose not to be....just that easy.

Completely Real, Completely Complicated, and Completely Awesome!

 

I am part of a group on facebook that offers support for autism and the daily struggles parents go through. It has been very interesting to read all the things autism brings to families both good and bad. Some of the moms have more than one child with autism and some have been living with the difference for years. Others have children that are newly diagnosed and I can tell you there are new members nearly every day. Parents who are reaching out to find people who understand how it affects daily life.

Sometimes it’s comforting to know there are people who completely understand how different your parenting style has to be, and the public ignorance that provokes nastiness at times. How the weight of that can really start to make it hard to lift your feet off the ground every day. I love seeing posts of celebration. It can be as simple as a first word or one of my own posts was my son taking his own shirt off. Little things we wait for and when it comes the feeling is like winning the progress jackpot and we just have to tell someone right away. Others can be a show of emotion or love. We know our children feel it just like you and I, but autism doesn’t always allow them to show it so when they get to break out of it for a moment and it comes through, we celebrate. Regardless of the stigma out there that says autistic kids don't show emotions, parents know better. Our kids are full of emotion and they do show it. The difference is, it's real emotion and not fake like so many people in life have mastered. I tend to think that makes autism a superior difference when it comes to human nature.

Other times my heart breaks for the struggles people face that they really have no control over. In many cases the child is grown and controlling them in a meltdown is a daunting task without help from another source of support. It's not always the child that ends up in uncontrollable tears but mom is right there to, desperately trying to find a way to bring peace to their child.

A question was posted yesterday that really grabbed my attention, they all do, but this took instant hold of me because I think about it all the time. The question was and not exactly her words but she asked if after having to adjust to the difference for so long, would it be easy to let your guard down and go back to normalcy? My instant thought was no, the daily adjustments actually do change you as a person and parent. We spend every day on guard and waiting for progress that eventually autism really becomes a part of us because in order to make the adjustments needed, we have to think like our children would. Or at least how we think they would because even after being with them every day we still don't always know. We are constantly thinking even when we don’t have the energy to and we just can’t let that guard down.

When we had our son diagnosed we gave into the fact we needed someone to help us learn ways to adjust for him and ourselves. It is really what finally led to him being tested. We just didn’t know to help him and felt someone must know these answers. From my own experience I can say we found ourselves being offered advice that would have worked perfectly for our non autistic children but for Phillip? Not so much. It was much more complicated than that. We have adjusted in ways that work great one day and maybe the next it won’t work at all, so we are constantly thinking of how to figure him out, how to protect him, how to help others understand him, and how to help him make progress.

Mostly what we think about is….how to unlock that autism door that we keep knocking on. He slides clues under the door every day to keep us guessing, or opens it for a bit but for the most part all of us are just trying to figure out how to keep that dang door open so we can stick our foot in it and show every one whats on the other side because we know how amazing our children are and what they have to offer. Completely real, completely complicated, and completely awesome.

What Would Our Autistic Son Say?

Along this journey we have been asked hundreds of questions by specialists. Many of those questions they required a direct yes or no answer to. From my point of view a large number of those questions just couldn't be answered with a simple yes or no. Our sons autism is not so clearly defined and I think many cases or all are the same way in that regard. Autism is much more complicated than yes and no's.

Take It To The CDC Or Stick It Where The Sun Don't Shine...

The other day I came across a blog contest and wanted to see what kind of blog was in the running for first place. The number one blog voted for by readers was about autism and I was really happy to see this, until I read the content of the blog. Then my blood boiled a bit.

            I see it all the time something on the internet. Someone claims to know the answer to autism, it can be reversed. Autism is not a life sentence, or healing autism.

When I see these sources of information I have to wonder why these people don't go directly to the CDC and prove their reversal methods to be mass distributed to whoever wants it. Instead of selling the information for whatever price they think its worth. Or putting it in the media for parents to think they are just missing the answer.

            That kind of garbage makes parents who are already killing themselves to keep up think they aren't doing enough already. They are already wrestling with the mysteries their children give them every day, which is the easy part. It's wrestling with society to accept the difference and be kind that really runs them ragged. Not to mention the endless and never 100% correct autism information that is pushed all over the place.

Here is exactly how I feel about my son’s autism and what these people can do with their false hopes. For one and I really don't think I am the only person who feels this way, I completely accept my sons difference and the number of autism cases are rising so fast it really won't be much of a difference in the near future. Keep in mind my son is not severe so maybe my opinion is easier for me to grasp then it would be for another parent. My son has abilities that blow my mind and impress me to the fullest. His attention to detail is something everyone could learn from and it has made me a much more aware person in regard to what I have been ignoring on a daily basis. He sees much more than the average person does and he imprints it into his mind. He can't verbally explain what this is like but from what I see, it is way above anything I could even understand. I love everything about him, yes I even love his autism;)

A small example of the details he picks up on that others might ignore and I am only going to give one but the examples really never end. We were outside washing the van the other day and I was spraying Windex on the windows. Phillip was 20ft away at the end of the driveway, with his back to me, playing in a mud puddle. I noticed every time I sprayed the Windex I could hear an echo. Each time I sprayed it Phillip was repeating what the sound of the bottle makes when you pull the trigger. There he was playing, with tons of distractions around him and he picked up on one little sound he liked with his back to the source. If I jumped to “heal” him I wouldn’t know him anymore and from what I know he has a lot to offer just the way he is.

So for myself when I see a headline to fix autism my thought is either take your cure to the CDC, for those who want it, or stick where the sun don't shine, for lack of a more classy term. We will learn to use it as any child with gifts, and they all have them, should do. I want education progams developed and an understanding when we are in public. I want people to ask me questions instead of staring at me like I need to parent differently. I want to be able to say the word autism and not imedietly get a look of sadness from people because we aren't sad. I want people to know it's a challenge for us and I would never refer to it as a curse, so I prefer if they don't either.

What I do not want is to change my son in any way.

I Did It! I Am Normal! Or At Least How I Define it...

                The beginning process of autism is a very hard place to be. We all have those defining moments in life that stand out in our minds that we can literally remember every detail of. One of those moments for me was sitting in that room with four lovely specialists getting ready to hear what conclusion they came up with. Nothing on the walls, sitting in a little tiny chair with my ears ready to take it all in. Two things happened that day that will be with me forever, the word autism coming at me like a freight train and the looks on their faces when they said it to us. Also the squeeze in my chest from trying not to burst into tears, which I managed to keep in until we left the building.

                I see every day a new post in support groups of a parent who just went through this defining moment. With autism on the rise, these posts are common to see.

                A woman wrote yesterday about some of her new adventures and said her child was in group of kids all counting. Toddler age and many of them were counting to 20, but when it came to her child she managed to get to 3 and she could feel the looks on her and she fought back the tears. My thought was...she did it! She tried and even 3 is a huge success. I totally understand those tears and yes, when our children aren't up to the social standard we get the looks. Piercing looks.

               I used to look at the progress of kids my sons age and I would get sad, wishing he was at the same level so to speak.  I changed my thought process and now when I see kids his age, who are doing what society expects of them, I smile. I smile for the parents and the child because they aren't facing the challenges we do and I am happy for them.  They don't get those looks even if they are throwing them at me, I feel they have been blessed one way and we have been blessed another. I actually find myself celebrating that for them in my mind, because maybe they wouldn't be strong enough to face the challenges we do or maybe I am celebrating the fact they don't have to.

             Normal is a dirty word in my mind, and really it always had been. Autism has confirmed it for me. I have spent most of my life trying to be "normal" and that is one challenge I have never mastered. Why is that? Because we all define our very own normal. Trying to live up to every one's opinion of normal is impossible for anyone. For those who have success at it, I see a very difficult emotional breakdown in their future. We can't live every day to fit in or please others or in our case that would actually be impossible and I see that as a good thing most of the time.

            We all define ourselves and what our comfort level is; our children are doing the same thing with our comfort to guide them. Autism or not, you will never see an adult or children throw their hands up and yell...”I did it! I am normal!" although it's tempting to do this just once in a public place and watch the reactions. I don't see the people in the room gathering to congratulate me, but moving further away from the crazy person who thinks she just reached a place none of us get to.

Normal is a dirty word...create your own definition of it and use the word as little as possible.