Spoke to my 12 year old daughter this morning, who is on summer vacation across the state. Hearing both of my kids voices on the phone lifts me up every time.
How has autism effected the older siblings? In so many ways good and bad. Phillip has always been a little more work then your typical child, right from the start. Dad works out of state now for months at a time. I am able to manage things on my own but the role my older kids play in my sons life is nothing short of living with two superheros!
It hasn't been easy for the older kids from time to time. Mom having to show up at events for a short time or sometimes not at all. There little brother running in high gear and sometimes not being able to process which attracts a lot of negative attention. Not being able to communicate with him like they would like to, a challenge we all face on a daily basis.
Then there at the times we are all trying to keep up, working together and still as a group, we are all flat out worn out. I have never forced my older kids to care for their brother because I know just what a challenge it is and they need to be free to just be kids. At times they will step up and help just because they see and live the challenges and really, they just love him and enjoy a short time with him every once in a while.
There was one day we were spending the day in a mall. Shopping is something I don't even know how to do for myself anymore. No time to browse and think about what I like. If I need something it's a fast decision and almost no thinking involved. In fact I have nearly mastered this style of shopping.
This day I asked my oldest to keep an eye on his brother so I could just look for a bit. He understood and even though wasn't on board he knew what it meant to me.
As I browsed I saw a flash of a bright yellow shirt fly across the store. I expected to see a taller version of him right behind, but no luck. I knew if he had this kind of speedy head start I also needed to put my running shoes on and catch up. I bolted after him and finally managed to slow him down, at that time big brother came running up with a look of oops on his face. He couldn't believe how quickly Phillip had just disappeared. A common problem and I could not be upset with my oldest son because I knew all to well how fast it can happen. In a blink of an eye he can vanish and the problem is the only way to find him is getting a visual on him. You can say his name 100 times and he won't respond, a very frightening thought when you loose that visual.
I don't ask my older kids to take on more then they need to, the challenges are to much for kids so young to have to figure out. When they are comfortable with it I will allow it, but when my visual on my older kids tells me it's to much, that's when it's time to step back and let them be kids.
When Phillip was diagnosed as autistic who handled it perfectly and with instant understanding? Even a little humor tossed in to the conversation? His big sister and brother did. They were not surprised and they were the two most understanding forces in life I have ever seen.
At one point the words "there is nothing wrong with him, he's just autistic" came out of their mouths.
Siblings of autism face as many difficulties if not more then parents do and with all that they are an extreme force of love and understanding. My older kids are helping to guide him and giving him an unconditional love that will help carry him through life, even when the challenges hit, they have an understanding I wish I could mass distribute to the rest of the world.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Be A Perfect Parent, Raise A Perfect Child..Money Back Guarantee!
This morning our autism planner is visiting. Last visit he handed us some paperwork outlining discipline to fill out and return to them. I was a little confused when I looked at it, not because it was confusing to read, but because if the answers where as simple as a piece of paper, that would just be something!
My son has meltdowns like all autistic kids, but it's not based on lack of discipline. It's based on the processing limits he has. I don't see a way to fix that, only to understand it and slow down. I have actually found time is a huge factor. The more time he is allowed to process the better the results. Does that mean when I can't allow him time, I need to find a discipline tactic to punish him for not keeping up with the changes? No.
I have three kids, Phillip being my youngest. When my first child was born I bought every book I could get my hands on to make sure I was doing it right. Honestly I had no idea what I was doing other then the natural instincts that kicked in when I had him. The books gave me security when I wasn't sure. Then, my second child was born while my first was just a toddler. I slowly stopped having time to even look to the books for answers. I had two small children to raise and sitting down to read instructions on how to do it just right was not even an option at that point. I had basically read everything I could get my hands on anyway and still found myself trying to figure it out.
Ten years went by before Phillip was born. Ten years of parenting, ten years of doing the right and wrong thing. Ten years of discipline tactics and finding what works and what doesn't.
I am not a perfect parent at all. Many days I have no idea what to do so I wing it and hope it has positive results. Many days I call my parents hoping they have an answer to my set back and thank God they never actually tell me what to do because they know I am capable of figuring it out.
I know you can't use the exact same tactics on each child, they are different which means different tactics each time.
That brings me to my third child and boy has God given us a twist we didn't see coming this time. Basic discipline is not really an option because his mind operates in a totally different way. I can discipline him for common toddler issues, but certainly can't punish him for being autistic. I can't force him to be something he is not, and that would apply to all three of my kids. I have to be able to see things the way he does and build an understanding, a desperate need in the world of autism.
I don't care how many papers are thrown at us with outlines on what to do, or guidelines on how to "cope". Our children teach us as we go.
Unless there is a book out there called, How To Be A Perfect Parent And Raise A Perfect Child, with a 100% money back guarantee..then maybe I would sit down and pay attention. Until then I will read my child because he has the power to teach me everything I need to know.
When it comes to parenting, aren't we all just really winging it anyway?
My son has meltdowns like all autistic kids, but it's not based on lack of discipline. It's based on the processing limits he has. I don't see a way to fix that, only to understand it and slow down. I have actually found time is a huge factor. The more time he is allowed to process the better the results. Does that mean when I can't allow him time, I need to find a discipline tactic to punish him for not keeping up with the changes? No.
I have three kids, Phillip being my youngest. When my first child was born I bought every book I could get my hands on to make sure I was doing it right. Honestly I had no idea what I was doing other then the natural instincts that kicked in when I had him. The books gave me security when I wasn't sure. Then, my second child was born while my first was just a toddler. I slowly stopped having time to even look to the books for answers. I had two small children to raise and sitting down to read instructions on how to do it just right was not even an option at that point. I had basically read everything I could get my hands on anyway and still found myself trying to figure it out.
Ten years went by before Phillip was born. Ten years of parenting, ten years of doing the right and wrong thing. Ten years of discipline tactics and finding what works and what doesn't.
I am not a perfect parent at all. Many days I have no idea what to do so I wing it and hope it has positive results. Many days I call my parents hoping they have an answer to my set back and thank God they never actually tell me what to do because they know I am capable of figuring it out.
I know you can't use the exact same tactics on each child, they are different which means different tactics each time.
That brings me to my third child and boy has God given us a twist we didn't see coming this time. Basic discipline is not really an option because his mind operates in a totally different way. I can discipline him for common toddler issues, but certainly can't punish him for being autistic. I can't force him to be something he is not, and that would apply to all three of my kids. I have to be able to see things the way he does and build an understanding, a desperate need in the world of autism.
I don't care how many papers are thrown at us with outlines on what to do, or guidelines on how to "cope". Our children teach us as we go.
Unless there is a book out there called, How To Be A Perfect Parent And Raise A Perfect Child, with a 100% money back guarantee..then maybe I would sit down and pay attention. Until then I will read my child because he has the power to teach me everything I need to know.
When it comes to parenting, aren't we all just really winging it anyway?
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Ipad, Changing Lives..Hundreds Of Dollars At A Time.
Our son is just a toddler and I believe he will talk, he makes big efforts to and can say a few words so eventually it will come.
There are families effected by autism that can never speak to their child. They are raising their child basically by mind reading and looking for clues, a nearly impossible task. Sometimes they are able to figure it out and sometimes they aren't able to.
Autism has been described to me as being trapped and I have seen this in research and through my own child. Which means someone effected by autism who is nonverbal, may be thinking their needs and have thoughts just like you and me, with no way to get it out. The body and mind are not working together to form verbal communication.
If you spent an entire day without speaking and trying to communicate your needs in whatever way you could just imagine how frustrated you would be. One day being nonverbal would be exhausting for you and the people around you. Now imagine taking that one exhausting day and turn it into years.
The Ipad is opening doors for some autistic families in regard to learning and speaking through technology. For many people that is a gift from God, to finally be able to get to know their child's thoughts, sense of humor, and needs. Even better to meet those needs without having to play charades until they figure it out, if they figure it out.
The problem? Many people can not afford an Ipad. The cost of raising an autistic child alone is overwhelming and now there is a feeling the Ipad is necessary on every level. So, what we need is affordable programs that mimic what the Ipad offers. Not mass distributed at 600$ a piece or more, but at an affordable price that is not based on billion dollar sales. Instead based on changing lives without putting more families deeper into debt.
Maybe one day this will be available to everyone, but it may take someone with autism to create it and make it easily available. Autistic people tend to live in a logical world, and what seems logical to me is changing lives. Making communication programs available to anyone who will benefit from it because dangling a program in front of families who can't speak to there children for hundreds of dollars and waiting for sales to hit an all time high, is cruel and doesn't make any sense to me.
1 in 88 children are living in a world of logic, and logic is putting human need ahead of profit. Personally, I think that would be a pretty amazing world to live it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Rockin The Autistic Sensory Boat....
We hear the word meltdown all the time when it comes to autism. For myself, this word has a hold on me because I am always trying to out run it knowing it's going to show up at any given moment. More often then not it sneaks in to our day out in public where everyone can see and immediately the assumption is, my child is out of control or I am a lazy parent for not putting a stop to that madness.
That's why today I am going to explain the meltdown. An important thing to describe so people might see what is really going on in a different light.
The meltdown is a tricky thing for the whole family. We don't always know the trigger, we can't always see it coming, and once it comes into play, we can't always stop it. I have found as my son gets bigger it's much harder to out run. I used to pack along all kinds of distractions and things to keep him focused on one thing at a time but with time he really has outgrown that trick. It no longer works when the meltdown hits. The older he gets it seems the more his mind is taking in, which means more to process. I can see how much he takes in just by watching him and I can't imagine what it is like for him when it becomes to much or he just can't shift his thoughts from one place to another, but I can guess what it's like from seeing it happen time and time again.
For one, people need to understand a parent can't reason with thier child when this happens. To a point before it happens, and if we see it building, we can try but ultimately when it takes hold, and a it's a firm hold, we become helpless.
The best way to describe it for our son is he is literally hit by a tidal wave that crashes into his mind. He has no control and niether do we. If we are at home and the tidal wave hits he will eventually go into his room and shut the door. If we open the door to soon he takes longer to come back to us and he will shut it again. That alone tells me he is desperatly trying to get himself back from this place and he does not want us to be a part of it. At times that wave hits him so hard he is so far underwater It really feels like he has just vanished for a bit.
As a parent I want to get him back from this place that is drowning him, but I can't. He might be trying to hit me, but I can look in his eyes and see he isn't there. The hitting looks like a violent child who is treating his parent horribly but I see him desperately begging for help.
An example of the meltdown process would be the last time we tried a therapy appointment. When we entered the building there was big physical therapy machines, people in wheelchairs, 4 receptionists, and it was all new. At that point, the waters started to white cap. Then we met the therapist and had to follow her through the building down a hallway into a new room, with balloons and new noisy toys. This is the point the boat starts to rock. Then, it's time for the therapist to ask mom to step out and she shuts the door leaving only her, a stranger, and his security just left the room. He was at that point looking for his life vest.
The bubbles come out, the therapist begins to test his frustration tolerance. They call it getting to know him, but the tidal wave is gaining momentum.
He is now in a room with a stranger who is tesing his tolerance level and he can't communicate he is not ok with this.....the tidal wave just hit. He spent the better part of that day trying to get back on dry land. This was a predictable meltdown, but there are many we don't always see coming. I do know there is a process to it and sometimes it's a slow process, other times it's a fast one.
Either way the best way to keep from rocking the scensory boat is to figure out for each case of autism what causes the white caps to form and if it's possible, get them to calmer waters.
That's why today I am going to explain the meltdown. An important thing to describe so people might see what is really going on in a different light.
The meltdown is a tricky thing for the whole family. We don't always know the trigger, we can't always see it coming, and once it comes into play, we can't always stop it. I have found as my son gets bigger it's much harder to out run. I used to pack along all kinds of distractions and things to keep him focused on one thing at a time but with time he really has outgrown that trick. It no longer works when the meltdown hits. The older he gets it seems the more his mind is taking in, which means more to process. I can see how much he takes in just by watching him and I can't imagine what it is like for him when it becomes to much or he just can't shift his thoughts from one place to another, but I can guess what it's like from seeing it happen time and time again.
For one, people need to understand a parent can't reason with thier child when this happens. To a point before it happens, and if we see it building, we can try but ultimately when it takes hold, and a it's a firm hold, we become helpless.
The best way to describe it for our son is he is literally hit by a tidal wave that crashes into his mind. He has no control and niether do we. If we are at home and the tidal wave hits he will eventually go into his room and shut the door. If we open the door to soon he takes longer to come back to us and he will shut it again. That alone tells me he is desperatly trying to get himself back from this place and he does not want us to be a part of it. At times that wave hits him so hard he is so far underwater It really feels like he has just vanished for a bit.
As a parent I want to get him back from this place that is drowning him, but I can't. He might be trying to hit me, but I can look in his eyes and see he isn't there. The hitting looks like a violent child who is treating his parent horribly but I see him desperately begging for help.
An example of the meltdown process would be the last time we tried a therapy appointment. When we entered the building there was big physical therapy machines, people in wheelchairs, 4 receptionists, and it was all new. At that point, the waters started to white cap. Then we met the therapist and had to follow her through the building down a hallway into a new room, with balloons and new noisy toys. This is the point the boat starts to rock. Then, it's time for the therapist to ask mom to step out and she shuts the door leaving only her, a stranger, and his security just left the room. He was at that point looking for his life vest.
The bubbles come out, the therapist begins to test his frustration tolerance. They call it getting to know him, but the tidal wave is gaining momentum.
He is now in a room with a stranger who is tesing his tolerance level and he can't communicate he is not ok with this.....the tidal wave just hit. He spent the better part of that day trying to get back on dry land. This was a predictable meltdown, but there are many we don't always see coming. I do know there is a process to it and sometimes it's a slow process, other times it's a fast one.
Either way the best way to keep from rocking the scensory boat is to figure out for each case of autism what causes the white caps to form and if it's possible, get them to calmer waters.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Miracles And Mysteries...
Interesting thing I found about autism, most families effected are stuck in a land of mystery and waiting to see what will happen for the day.
Yesterday was what I would call a day of mystery and miracles. Typical day and we didn't do anything different. Our son took a nap mid afternoon, which is always a blessing because it leads to an easier night. We decided to go out to dinner at a place he has been to before, a casual place to eat and it has booths so we can keep him contained. Not usually very busy so if he was to get a little rambunctious, it wouldn't be a disaster.
The first step was to get him in the van without a battle. Put him in his seat and he was totally relaxed, no combat at all. First miracle of the day! On to the restaurant and as his parents, we know this is a risky adventure but we have to carry on as a "normal" family. At the restaurant he ran a bit, didn't eat much at all, but he was happy and basically easy to manage. Second miracle of the day!
After we ate we decided to go across the street to the park and burn some energy. I noticed a new water fountain for kids to run in was built and my first thought was, this is not going to work, Then I noticed they also built a chain link fence around it. Anyone who has an autistic child who loves water, would look at that fence as a gift from God. Society gave us a barrier which would be the third miracle of the day.
Phillip never cares much to play on big toys at the park, he runs right past them and keeps on running, almost like he doesn't even notice them, but yesterday he actually stepped onto both of them. Even managed to get him down a slide without complete fear taking hold of him. It was in fact his first encounter with a slide by himself at nearly three years old. Fourth miracle of the day and counting!
When we decided to leave he got into his car seat again without combat. At home we hung out outside for a bit. I hosed off the driveway and Phillip made use of a mud puddle to splash in. At one point I looked over and he was trying to dunk his head in it. Legs covered in mud so I redirected the hose and sprayed him off, which he loved.
Time for a bath and the impossible task of getting him in the house from the outdoors. I went in and got the bath ready, when all of a sudden daddy opened the back door and little Phillip walked right in and stood next me in the bathroom. We can count on one hand how many times he has actually entered the house on his own without hostility, or total meltdown.
Another difficult transition is if I put him in the bath while the water is running, then turn it off...he always has a little something to say about that. This time, he didn't even react to the water being turned off.
So, why was the day so easy and without any transition challenges? I have no idea..it is a total mystery and If I knew everyday would for sure be just this easy. With the autism influence, we expect difficulties, we know the challenges before they hit, and with that comes some anxiety as a parent. I also have to wonder what caused the autism to loosen it's grip yesterday. The miracles went on all day long and It seemed like he was given a small break from what the specialist say will not loosen it's grip without hours of therapy.
A day like yesterday, and today will more then likely not be the same, is a total mystery. That is what families face all the time. The challenges, the difficulties, the expectations, the miracles, and the mysteries.
Yesterday was what I would call a day of mystery and miracles. Typical day and we didn't do anything different. Our son took a nap mid afternoon, which is always a blessing because it leads to an easier night. We decided to go out to dinner at a place he has been to before, a casual place to eat and it has booths so we can keep him contained. Not usually very busy so if he was to get a little rambunctious, it wouldn't be a disaster.
The first step was to get him in the van without a battle. Put him in his seat and he was totally relaxed, no combat at all. First miracle of the day! On to the restaurant and as his parents, we know this is a risky adventure but we have to carry on as a "normal" family. At the restaurant he ran a bit, didn't eat much at all, but he was happy and basically easy to manage. Second miracle of the day!
After we ate we decided to go across the street to the park and burn some energy. I noticed a new water fountain for kids to run in was built and my first thought was, this is not going to work, Then I noticed they also built a chain link fence around it. Anyone who has an autistic child who loves water, would look at that fence as a gift from God. Society gave us a barrier which would be the third miracle of the day.
Phillip never cares much to play on big toys at the park, he runs right past them and keeps on running, almost like he doesn't even notice them, but yesterday he actually stepped onto both of them. Even managed to get him down a slide without complete fear taking hold of him. It was in fact his first encounter with a slide by himself at nearly three years old. Fourth miracle of the day and counting!
When we decided to leave he got into his car seat again without combat. At home we hung out outside for a bit. I hosed off the driveway and Phillip made use of a mud puddle to splash in. At one point I looked over and he was trying to dunk his head in it. Legs covered in mud so I redirected the hose and sprayed him off, which he loved.
Time for a bath and the impossible task of getting him in the house from the outdoors. I went in and got the bath ready, when all of a sudden daddy opened the back door and little Phillip walked right in and stood next me in the bathroom. We can count on one hand how many times he has actually entered the house on his own without hostility, or total meltdown.
Another difficult transition is if I put him in the bath while the water is running, then turn it off...he always has a little something to say about that. This time, he didn't even react to the water being turned off.
So, why was the day so easy and without any transition challenges? I have no idea..it is a total mystery and If I knew everyday would for sure be just this easy. With the autism influence, we expect difficulties, we know the challenges before they hit, and with that comes some anxiety as a parent. I also have to wonder what caused the autism to loosen it's grip yesterday. The miracles went on all day long and It seemed like he was given a small break from what the specialist say will not loosen it's grip without hours of therapy.
A day like yesterday, and today will more then likely not be the same, is a total mystery. That is what families face all the time. The challenges, the difficulties, the expectations, the miracles, and the mysteries.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Chase Is On...And So Are The Public Comments.
Yesterday I went to our local grocery store, it's small and easy to chase the little man if that's the kind of day it is. Took him with me so he could get out of the house. It's pretty rare we go out in public that we don't get some kind of comment about his behavior, even if it's a polite one.
I think every parent with an autistic child would agree, it's nearly unavoidable unless you keep your child home every single day.
It was a runner day, the kind of day nothing was going to slow Phillip down. Once his shoes hit the ground he was like a wind up toy and off he went! It can be difficult to get him to hold my hand so I tend to at least put a hand on him so I can feel the take off before he gets away from me. That usually works until we get inside the store. He is way to big to put in a cart and the battle that comes with that is brutal so it's really just not an option anymore. On a day like this....the chase is on.
I didn't buy much and spent most of time redirecting him, at times leaving my cart to run after him and physically turn him around directing back to where I needed him to be.
I have encountered comments and who hasn't as a parent with a child who operates differently. A few have upset me a little, but most of the time it's just a comment from someone who is totally unaware of his difference. I know at some point we will face someone who isn't just unaware but out to correct my bad parenting. It's coming and I know it. The question is how will I react? I know I won't say exactly what comes to mind, because my mother taught me better than that, but I do have the ability to use whit and sarcasm in a productive way. I have always told my older kids, when someone says something to you that hurts your dignity, you use whit to leave them silenced. Walking away is best, but sometimes that is not an option.
I was once told I needed to be less sarcastic, that it comes off as hostile and I was using it as a self defense tool. I say...amen to that and thank God for the ability from time to time.
So, yesterday while my discovering, super speedy, sensory gifted little man was flying through the store like a bolt of lightening, a man said to me..."you need to put that boy in a cage!"
I really think he felt he was a very funny guy and didn't realize how bad it sounded when he said it. My response to that funny guy?..."yes! and I should probably beat him to."His face just went flat and he was silenced. I would NEVER beat my child, and I could never beat my child. Not that it hasn't been recommended to me by people on the outside looking in.
I could have ignored him completely, but If we are going to face this kind of thing for years to come whit is going to have to come in to play. Call it hostile or a self defense tool....I call it a gift and I will have days I just don't feel like ignoring the comments, and that's okay. I am not going to announce he is autistic to every person who feels the need to say something, because first and foremost he is Phillip, he is our son, and he is amazing.
I think every parent with an autistic child would agree, it's nearly unavoidable unless you keep your child home every single day.
It was a runner day, the kind of day nothing was going to slow Phillip down. Once his shoes hit the ground he was like a wind up toy and off he went! It can be difficult to get him to hold my hand so I tend to at least put a hand on him so I can feel the take off before he gets away from me. That usually works until we get inside the store. He is way to big to put in a cart and the battle that comes with that is brutal so it's really just not an option anymore. On a day like this....the chase is on.
I didn't buy much and spent most of time redirecting him, at times leaving my cart to run after him and physically turn him around directing back to where I needed him to be.
I have encountered comments and who hasn't as a parent with a child who operates differently. A few have upset me a little, but most of the time it's just a comment from someone who is totally unaware of his difference. I know at some point we will face someone who isn't just unaware but out to correct my bad parenting. It's coming and I know it. The question is how will I react? I know I won't say exactly what comes to mind, because my mother taught me better than that, but I do have the ability to use whit and sarcasm in a productive way. I have always told my older kids, when someone says something to you that hurts your dignity, you use whit to leave them silenced. Walking away is best, but sometimes that is not an option.
I was once told I needed to be less sarcastic, that it comes off as hostile and I was using it as a self defense tool. I say...amen to that and thank God for the ability from time to time.
So, yesterday while my discovering, super speedy, sensory gifted little man was flying through the store like a bolt of lightening, a man said to me..."you need to put that boy in a cage!"
I really think he felt he was a very funny guy and didn't realize how bad it sounded when he said it. My response to that funny guy?..."yes! and I should probably beat him to."His face just went flat and he was silenced. I would NEVER beat my child, and I could never beat my child. Not that it hasn't been recommended to me by people on the outside looking in.
I could have ignored him completely, but If we are going to face this kind of thing for years to come whit is going to have to come in to play. Call it hostile or a self defense tool....I call it a gift and I will have days I just don't feel like ignoring the comments, and that's okay. I am not going to announce he is autistic to every person who feels the need to say something, because first and foremost he is Phillip, he is our son, and he is amazing.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
You Are The Expert And The Superhero!
Watched a video on the news this morning, of a disabled women being beaten in a group home, in Connecticut.
I was going to post the video on my blog and I changed my mind. It was so disgusting to me I refuse to post it.
Things like this happen all the time, in fact the support center told us getting our son to communicate was vital because it makes him an easy target if he can't. We live in a world of technology that allows us to catch these people in the act, but the one time we see it for ourselves is just one time. Every time I see a video like that my stomach literally turns when I think of all the things technology didn't record for us to witness.
Abusers are everywhere and when they are caught, they are charged and hopefully held accountable. The scary thing is, if someone has that kind of nature to them, being caught and held accountable is a temporary fix. The victim is never the same and the public is never completely safe from the next time. Even then, it's only the abusers who have actually been caught and there are many who are not.
So what do we do as parents because no child, disabled or not, is safe from the horrific nature of someone who hurts others for self gratification. In the group home case it wasn't even a child, but it is someones child no matter what her age is.
We don't want to scare our children into thinking every person in the world has the potential to hurt them. It takes away the trusting innocent nature that is so awesome about our kids. They are born that way and we want them to hold onto that as long as they can.
A parents intuition is a powerful thing. The man whose autistic son was being verbally abused at school knew something was not right. He knew his child and he had unanswered questions, so he acted on his instinct. Of course the teachers faced no punishment, but he was able to help his son by trusting his intuition. I am not suggesting we all wire up our kids, but something in his gut told him in that case he needed to.
If we want safety measures in place for our children, we have a right to request it. Maybe you will be seen as paranoid, over protective, and more then likely tagged as a difficult parent. As a mother or father you know your child or children better then anyone does.
You parental intuition didn't come with years of schooling or some certificate hanging on the wall. Hopefully it came to you the moment you held your child in your arms. A natural ability to protect and provide security almost like gaining a hidden superhero power we use when we see fit.
It's OK to be the paranoid, over protective, difficult parent because you are the expert and the superhero all wrapped up into one. On the days you just don't feel like a superhero and we all have them...see yourself through your child's eyes.
Get up, put your invisible superhero cape on and find your stride.
I was going to post the video on my blog and I changed my mind. It was so disgusting to me I refuse to post it.
Things like this happen all the time, in fact the support center told us getting our son to communicate was vital because it makes him an easy target if he can't. We live in a world of technology that allows us to catch these people in the act, but the one time we see it for ourselves is just one time. Every time I see a video like that my stomach literally turns when I think of all the things technology didn't record for us to witness.
Abusers are everywhere and when they are caught, they are charged and hopefully held accountable. The scary thing is, if someone has that kind of nature to them, being caught and held accountable is a temporary fix. The victim is never the same and the public is never completely safe from the next time. Even then, it's only the abusers who have actually been caught and there are many who are not.
So what do we do as parents because no child, disabled or not, is safe from the horrific nature of someone who hurts others for self gratification. In the group home case it wasn't even a child, but it is someones child no matter what her age is.
We don't want to scare our children into thinking every person in the world has the potential to hurt them. It takes away the trusting innocent nature that is so awesome about our kids. They are born that way and we want them to hold onto that as long as they can.
A parents intuition is a powerful thing. The man whose autistic son was being verbally abused at school knew something was not right. He knew his child and he had unanswered questions, so he acted on his instinct. Of course the teachers faced no punishment, but he was able to help his son by trusting his intuition. I am not suggesting we all wire up our kids, but something in his gut told him in that case he needed to.
If we want safety measures in place for our children, we have a right to request it. Maybe you will be seen as paranoid, over protective, and more then likely tagged as a difficult parent. As a mother or father you know your child or children better then anyone does.
You parental intuition didn't come with years of schooling or some certificate hanging on the wall. Hopefully it came to you the moment you held your child in your arms. A natural ability to protect and provide security almost like gaining a hidden superhero power we use when we see fit.
It's OK to be the paranoid, over protective, difficult parent because you are the expert and the superhero all wrapped up into one. On the days you just don't feel like a superhero and we all have them...see yourself through your child's eyes.
Get up, put your invisible superhero cape on and find your stride.
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