Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Mystery solved

   My son has had some interesting habits and sometimes those habits are just unexplainable. Sometimes a habit appears to be an OCD symptom or autism creating repetition but the difficult part is knowing or at least trying to understand if a habit is related to autism or if it is not. He can speak but that doesn't mean he has a full ability to communicate so asking why doesn't work. Mostly he will repeat words or use words he has mastered that have nothing to do with the situation so back and forth communication is extremely limited. Not impossible because every once in a while he uses words that let me in on what is going on in his mind and that's when I discover he really is just a little boy being exactly that.

    For the past year he has had a habit that is nothing that worried me or caused any problems but just a bit of an annoyance at times. Suddenly he will run around the house either turning on all the lights or off all the lights. The off hasn't bothered me so much unless It's dark outside and I am in the middle of doing something that requires me to see, like cooking but the on I have to go around turning them all off and sometimes he comes up right behind me flipping that switch again. I have considered unscrewing the light bulbs or just flat out removing some of them to give myself a little more power so to speak on this situation he is so dedicated to. With so many habits I can contribute to the repetitive nature of autism in our home this one seemed to be just another repetitive habit only patience was going to hopefully stop. Although it's a been a year and once a habit sticks it's extremely difficult to get away from.

   Yesterday the lights were all on once again and I was turning them all off once again asking my son "why must you do this Phillip?" with no explanation as I expected. Only this time he sat on the couch and waited for me to turn them all off before turning them back on with his little hands folded in his lap and a sweet look on his face. I stepped into the garage and by the time I came back in all the lights were on. I said to him "we can't have all the lights on, no reason for it." This is the moment a year long mystery was solved and the moment I learned this repetitive habit had nothing to do with autism. Had nothing to do with what I thought was contributing to this never ending desire to light up the house at least three times a week. Also a monumental moment in our journey because he used words not given to him to let me in on this mystery behavior. Sitting sweetly on the couch he pointed up at the light and said with pride "Sun's out!"

   At that very moment not only did I get an answer but I felt a little dumb because it was so very simple. He has no understanding of the sun, he just knows it's a light in the sky and relating it to the lights in the house makes total sense. He is a little boy and small children don't see the world the same way adults do, they are all imagination and we are all reality. I am thinking about the power bill and removing light bulbs while he is just trying to create a little sunshine in house because kids are awesome and sometimes it's just not as complicated or as symptom related as we might think but without those two words I don't know if my overcomplicated, adult, realist mind would have ever figured it out. I will still be working to end this lights on mission but it's no longer a mystery and lesson learned from a four year old to stop thinking so much like an adult and try to remember it's not always autism getting in the way, it's just mom forgetting what's like to be little.